A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:During an argument, my boyfriend of almost a year, revealed to me, that in his past,many years ago, that he had a girlfriend who was a hooker. He could see in my eyes how disgusted I was, and of course I said I wanted to vomit. Now, days later, I cannot get the nasty image of how many people that means he was put into contact with. He has no dieseases (thank God) because of it, but the nasty visual will not leave my mind, and I don't know what I am going to do the next time he will want to get intimate. Things have been shaky as it is... Don't know what I am going to do, and he's been kissing my butt as it is ever since... He says he didn't bring it up as a punishment to me as part of the argument, but I say he DID...he said he wanted to share his past. I still feel like throwing up...what kind of a person feels a relationship with a hooker is appropriate...he's not in is right mind and he knew I already had trust issues to begin with when I started this relationship due to my prior bf and he said he'd do anything to gain it...now this???
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Well I wouldn't consider being a prostitute cheating either since sex by coercion is rape and paying someone for sex is coercion. I only consider cheating to be consensual sexual activity. You claim to understand how many prostituted women are not there by choice and yet you're still portraying them as immoral, disgusting, and diseased. Prostituted women don't have to be forced into it through trafficking to be "forced" into it, there's a lack of options at play as well.
Your boyfriend did nothing wrong other than his timing telling you sucks.
A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes  +, writes (9 October 2011):
well you are obviously not going to listen to our opinion and you have clearly made up your mind if you want to finish with him because of his past then do so , its your choice. i would like to say one thing though peoples morals change over the years i know mine at 16 are very different to mine at 13 or my brothers whos 28 (im probably more moral than him) maybe his have too people grow and change as they age and prehaps as ive said before this part of him is firmly in the past. yes people bring up hurtful things in arguments the whole human population , including me and probably you, are guilty of doing this you try and find the weakest spots to attack when youre mad at someone. i can see about the cheating but personally no i dont see it as cheating as the prostitute had no emotional connection to the people she was having sex with but maybe thats just me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was the TIMING of when he told me (during an argumment), the factor of his putting himself into contact with someone who had MANY sexual contacts, and who was abusing drugs...and he portrays himself as someone who has ALWAYS never liked CHEATERS having lost two marriages to two cheaters...guess he didn't view a gf as a hooker a cheater? Totally not in sync with his views...makes me question his morals overall. (I am not going to get into a discussion on prostitutes...I know they do NOT often CHOOSE to be in the profession and are forced into it). I guess it was a blast from the past I didn't really want to hear, in the slap-in-the-face way he dealt it. He could have done it in a better way, and better yet, some things are better left unsaid...some skeletons are best left in the closet. But, like he said, his parents know a lot of things from his past I might find out...more things I am afraid to hear...not sure I can deal with it...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 October 2011):
Prostituted women are not dirty diseased scum, they are human beings just like you. You're acting like these women are subhuman and disgusting when the only difference between them and you is that they have less money and fewer options than you and more sex (if you can even call it that when there's coercion involved). There's really no difference between dating a prostituted woman and dating any other other woman except how much people seem to hate prostituted women, which is why there's such incredible violence towards them. Prostituted women date and have lives. Is it wrong for a prostituted woman to want companionship and love simply because she was dealt crappy options? It's not as though he lied about this. While it was obnoxious to tell you while you were fighting, I think you're being extremely unfair/hateful to prostituted women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): I would break up with him. The fact he dated a hooker says a lot about his moral values.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe did say his parents knew about his past...and some other things...he did allude to...but what was also so hurtful...was WHEN he brought it up...still I cannot get the images out of my mind...that's what is really so awful...and when he did mention it...like during the argument....
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (6 October 2011):
im sorry but i think youre in the wrong here. this person was in the past and hookers are still people that do have relationships. i must emphasise the in the past part he is not with her anymore. also at least he told you and you didnt find out some other way
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