A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my partner have been through a bit of a rough patch recently due to his porn habits! Everything has been great for the past 10 months apart from our sex life, I've completely lost interest which isn't like me. I'm scared that this will drive him back to porn and even cheat. I love him so much and everyuing else in our relationship is great! My attitude to sex has completely changed, how can I get my old self back????
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female
reader, janice201149  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 I believe that if you in a married life. Sex with your partner is your obligation. That my opinion. Sex is an important way to show the sentiments and feelings to a specific person and that means good sex can also provide to a tighter bond between an individual and his partner. Actually, there are a lot of couples who experience some issues on how to last longer in bed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am aware that all men watch porn and have not tried to make him stop I have made him aware o my boundaries regarding porn but I am realistic and understand I can not control this. In the past he has over stepped boundaries and I have now made him aware and he is trying to keep within these an our relationship is fine. In the past his usage was a worry and this is what I'm afraid of. Our sex life before was more than healthy it was amazing and he still used porn and messages other girls. My issue is that I seem to have developed an issue with sex now. I want help as to how i can get over this, I don't want to leave him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): I hate to break this to you, but there are other women on the planet and in his mind.
If you could somehow prevent a man from ever looking at porn again, he could still just as easily fantasize about previous sex partners or previous porn viewing. Or he could see a hot chick on TV. Or he could imagine his neighbor or co-worker naked. Or he could think about a total stranger after walking by her on the street.
It's as if you are hoping to somehow lock out all ideas of other women from his mind. I am trying to drive home the futility of this. You can't do it, he can't do it, nobody can do it. It is never going to happen. He will ALWAYS have those options in his mind. Everyone does.
So what can you do? Well, you can try giving him the particular woman that he wants to be sexual with most of all - you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 October 2011):
 This sounds like a very odd, and very common, negative feedback loop. On the one hand his porn use is making you lose your interest in him, on the other less sex probably makes him want more porn. Look if his porn use is destroying your self-confidence and your interest in sex so much and he won't stop then you need to leave.
Have you tried telling him how much his porn use hurts you and that porn use makes you lose your attraction to him?
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