A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i have been married for about a year and been together for little over a year now.i'm 22 and he's 30. we both want kids at some point but had said we aren't ready. i'm on the pill, but i am starting to feel ready for us to be considering kids soon.however i don't think he thinks we are. how can i get him to see that we are ready and to change his mind? i don't want to push him too much about it but i am hoping he will change his mind soon. someone please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): hi, i'm the one who posted this question. thank you all for your help. we had talked about wanting kids. at first we both decided that we weren't ready-at the time i wasn't feeling ready and told him that i would let him know if felt ready.now he's saying that he thinks that i'm not ready even though i think i am getting closer to being ready.i'm hoping that we can try next year but need to convince him somehow that i feel ready.how can i do this?
A
female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt +, writes (15 October 2011):
 Your questions seem to suggest that you two have not talked about this, so that is the first step ... TALK to your husband about your desire for a baby. It's not so uncommon to want a baby at your age! Even if you can't have one right away, it is good to verbalize the desire and clear the air.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
 How in the world can HE tell YOU how you feel...
did he elaborate as to why he feels you are not ready?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): is it that he's not ready or that he feels you aren't ready? you should discuss this with him.he could be saying he's not ready as a way of saying you aren't without trying to hurt you. tell him how you feel but discuss it when you both are happy and not tired or stressed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): thank you so much for your help. today out of the blue he said that he's ready but i'm not and that's why we are waiting. how can i convince him i'm ready to start thinking about?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Like the other's stated, there's no way to sway his opinion.
Talk to him about this delicate subject..explain that you're biological time clock is ticking and you feel the need to be a mother soon. Ask him when he'll be ready to start trying to conceive, just an estimate. Maybe in another year? Then drop the baby subject and concentrate on your marriage for the time being. Enjoying each other's company, sleep, ability to take vacations whenever, go out together with friend's, just things you can't do or are limited to when you can, when you have children.
To cope with your broodiness, I suggest offering to babysit friend's babies. It really does help.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 I understand where you are coming from as does any women who feels ready for children and for whatever reason can't complete that need. In saying that though try as hard as you can to relax about it. You are still really young. I didn't have the first of my 3 kids until I was 30. I remember taking my first baby home and feeling like maybe I just wasn't old enough for this responsibility yet. The first two posters are so right when they say that you can't force your husband to be ready for children. But have hope at least he is saying he does want children so it will happen. And when it does I bet the reason you had to wait will become clear.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 October 2011):
 You can't change his mind, and if you do/try he will resent you. If he's not ready, you aren't ready (by you I mean you as a couple). The best you can do is just ask him if he's ready and find out where he is on this. You can tell him you feel ready, but if he's not you need to respect that. If he's not ready yet, you should ask him to give you a timeframe, and if he doesn't think he'll ever be ready, then you find another partner.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 You can't make him feel ready for children am afraid. You might feel like you are ready but if he feels different well you can't change that. Both of you need to want it in order for it to happen or there may end up be resentment on your husbands part if he doesn't feel ready.
All you can do at this stage is talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Ask him how he feels and point out to him that you feel ready to have a child. Good luck.
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