A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone I was just wondering if this is a normal fwb relationship me and this man are having sex and we can't get enough of each other this has been going on since february we have a really good time together get on really well we are planning on having a night out together sometime soon and he has invited me to stay at his and he is going to cook for me next week he always texts me to see how work has been and I do the same with him is this the way fwbs usually are I am not sure as this is my first fwb relationship thank you in advance for any answers
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
It's YOUR FWB currently...
perhaps this is one of the ones that has the emphasis on FRIENDS vs the ones where the emphasis is on benefits...
ENJOY...
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 October 2011):
SOME FWBs are like this and more, and I am surprised when some posters ( like you ? ) are surprised that FWBs have not necessarily to exclude camaraderie, companionship and moments of tenderness. Why should they ? It's normal, after all it's FRIENDS with benefits, not strangers with benefits or enemies with benefits. In some other cases, it's just all about "strictly business " : two people getting together for a rapid, functional physical release,- but it does not HAVE to be like this.
I think the difference between a relationship and FWB is not if he is nice or if he cooks for you or if he calls you Snugglepuss. It 's about projectuality, officiality and exclusivity.
In other words, are there talks of a future together ( not necessary marriage of course,! but shared plans and projects, like a summer vacation together ) or everything is always just lived in the moment and every encounter might be the last ?...Is it official, you have met his friends and coworkers, maybe family too, and are you welcome to mix with them, or are you a well kept secret ?
Have both of you committed to be faithful to each other , or is it agreed or implied that he or both of you will take advantage of what else is there on offer sexually ?
I think these are the markers of a not -FWB vs. FWB only, because, again , a sex based relationship does not have to be synonimous with coldness, indifference and mechanical sexercise... in fact , when it is like this, tbh I don't understand why people even bother !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): It may have started as FWB but sounds like it's progressing.Nobody can predict the outcome, or how long you are prepared to wait and see.You have yet to go out on an official date after several months. Yes he is going to cook for you next week, so that's good.Could be he wants more now but is taking it slow...time will tell
Could be he is just being a friend, could be he wants more now. Don't pressure him, or talk about weddings ! Just go with the flow if you want to develop this.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (13 October 2011):
People probably think of FWBs as like in the movie with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Very rigid, mechanical and a total avoidance of feelings. In fact there are variations in how and when people do relationships and none should be categorized as such as such. Some people get very sensitive and dramatic when talking about relationships. Some go with the flow and let things unfold. Right now you may be in between an FWB to a serious relationship. Nothing is guaranteed. He is trying to get to know you better. Slow and slowly you can test how much time and effort he is willing to spend on you. For example if he cooks for you this month, would he buy you presents later, would he help you with tasks, would he bring you to his family and see yours? To make sure this all goes smoothly you should reward him each time he makes an effort so his love for you grows in little increments.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 October 2011):
That definitely sounds like dating more than FWB.
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