A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband sneaks off to masturbate.One morning I woke up and wanted a cup of coffee while I watched whatever show I had recorded the previous night. My husband had left about an hour before, while i was still asleep. I made my coffee, and in my sleep shirt, sat on my couch. Instantly I realized I had sat in something, which I quickly realized was a pile of semen. I confronted my husband, he said he was sorry and it wouldnt happen again (it has happened since multiple times). I was and am disgusted. I frequently find semen on blankets, etc. Any second he gets, hes in the other room masturbating. I myself am a very sexual individual. I am young and pretty, and I love pleasing my man. I have a very open mind when it comes to sex. I am willing to do whatever he wants in the bedroom, and our sexlife and intimacy was totally satisfying. Now, we barely ever have sex. It doesnt matter what I do. Ill have his dinner ready when he comes home, have my hair done, be wearing something nice, and ill try to initiate sex and I get shot down. Last night he had his son from a previous relationship for the weekend, and he had been sleeping for a while. My husband said he was exhausted and he too was going to take a nap in the bedroom. He went and masturbated instead, and then immeadiately took a shower. I confronted him about it, and he was so mad he packed up his son and left. I told him I cant tolerate this, that I wont be the wife starving for sex whike her husband jerks off in the next room. I feel totally neglected. Am i wrong?
View related questions:
semen Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 March 2012):
 In my opinion, eddie85 had part of it right, when writing, "Most men do masturbate -- even married ones." So do most women. But I'll agree that some folks get addicted to it, usually due to easily available porn. If the sex life between couples is still good, then it doesn't matter much. But if it replaces that sexual relationship, the that, indeed, is a problem.
A
female
reader, kary +, writes (6 March 2012):
Oh dear u are not wrong at all.I myself have a similar problem except my husband doesn't masturbate I think lol.Seems like the sex just dies out IDK Y but it sucks because they don't realize that it is important & we need it too.He obviously won't change and u will be left wanting & not receiving.the question is are u willing to deal with it and u do the same (pleasure ureself) or move on because trust me this will lead to cheating.I've heard some men say (including my husband) that they dnt need to cheat cus not only do they love their woman but they have everything they need at home.Do they not understand that applies to us too.Hope things get better with ure husband
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 No, I don't think you are wrong.
Your husband is being selfish. Part of the pact of being married is being there for your spouse. By expending his sexual energy in this manner, he leaves nothing for you.
Most men do masturbate -- even married ones. Our sex drives tend to be higher than women's and it is a source of relief. However, it sounds like your husband has taken it to a new level and is embarrassed at being caught.
Is he using pornography? It could be that he enjoys the variety that pornography brings. This is a big problem in today's easy access to porn.
Ultimately, your husband needs to realize that he has a problem. It may be humiliating but he needs to address it. If it means disabling the internet or putting an adult filter on it, he needs to realize that his compulsive masturbation habits are affecting your relationship.
If I were you, I'd lay it on the line and tell him that you are saddened and hurt by his choice of sexual preferences (you versus his hand). Also explain that you are more than willing to help him if he feels he needs to have sex more often. This may take some time to change his habits and it may require him to see a therapist as there may be an underlying problem behind this.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Of course you're not wrong. Some people can become "addicted" to masturbating. Either your husband needs help or you need to leave. Getting so angry he storms off when you bring it up is ridiculous.
...............................
A
male
reader, Rubiro  +, writes (6 March 2012):
I think that your man doesn't find you attractive anymore, or he is just stirred up on some other woman so he actually jerk off thinking of her or even maybe the sex he had with her. I'm sorry to say this, but this is my opinion, as I am a man and those are the reasons why I would avoid the sex with my woman. And yeah, I have one more reason that is also quite possible, if you are too demanding or, as I believe you are, too much nervous and unhappy all the time, as you need sex but you don't getting any, plus the moron is jerking off next to you, I would advice you to completely change your behavior, smile all the time, be nice to him but distant and not available to him all the time, behave like you have secrets, wear nice cloth and make up when you are going out without him, don't answer immediately on his every call or message and when you do just sound happy and say you were busy with something, and what ever, and all with smile - basically, just act like you don't need him and sex from him, and sound happy and not to interested to get into some deeper conversation with him. Well that's what my girlfriend did to me when I started to feel cold on her, and in just two days my whole attention was back on her. I realize that a year after :)) Let me does this works for you, as it did work on me :)))
...............................
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 This is not good. Either your husband is going through a bad time and is not that interested in you at the moment, or he is just taking you for granted.
Either way, this is a bad situation. You might have to talk to a friend you can trust about this. Any way you look at it, you are not being treated fairly. He agreed to marry you, so he has to hold up his end of the bargain.
...............................
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (5 March 2012):
 No, you're not wrong. You need love and affection too, and you need validation that he still finds you attractive. I would be upset too. He seems to be taking care of his needs on his own, but what about you? What about your needs?
What did he say when you told him that you don't want to be the wife starving while her husband jerks off in the next room?
...............................
|
