A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know what I did was wrong, but don't know what to do now. I have some pictures of an ex-boyfriend. Some of them are not very appropriate, like he's naked in some, and even a close-up of his 'thing'.My husband knows about the pictures, and asked me to throw out the 'bad' ones, but I could keep the normal ones. I never did throw them out. One night last week, my husband was out of town for a few nights for work. I was feeling real horny and took out the pictures of my ex-bf and masturbated to the pics.Now I know that was wrong, but was it cheating? Or just a sick sexual thing? Do I tell my husband, or just throw out the pics (I don't want to) and never do that again? I can't help it though, I love my husband and sex with my husband is way better than it ever was with my ex, but my ex is a little better looking, has a better body, and a larger 'thing'. From an emotional point,I only want my husband, but the pics of my ex really turn me on. If they were pics of a stranger like from the internet, I would think nothing of it, but they are of a man I was actually with, I'm feeling real guilty. What do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): I think your behavior was very wrong. However, I do not think it's cheating, therefore I wouldn't tell your husband about it. It will only bring up hurt and jealeousy. Being married myself, I expect my to tell me 'almost' everything. If you had cheated I would tell you to come clean even if it hurts, but since you didn't, you don't have to tell him about your private thoughts.If my wife met some old friend or ex-bf and talked to him, I would expect her to tell me about it, otherwise it's lying. However, if she just saw some cute guy in the grocery store and harmlessly talked 'flirted' with him, I wouldn't expect her to tell me.I think you have 2 problems though. 1st, you did lie to you husband when he thinks you got rid of the 'bad' pictures and you didn't. That is a serious relationship issue. GET RID of ALL the pics, even the 'normal' ones. 2nd, did you do this because you have an 'intimacy' issue with your husband. I don't think so because you indicated that the sex is better with your husband than it was with you ex-bf. But I think there is still some attachment to your ex-bf that isn't resolved. How long where you with your ex-bf? And how are you with your husband? Maybe if you were with the ex-bf longer, it will just take a little more time for the past to be forgotten. But if you just stop and think about it, do you still have feelings for your ex-bf? Or do you think it was just lustfull thoughts and unfortunately you picked an ex-bf instead of some random pic from the internet.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 Since more harm than good will come from telling your husband I agree with the others in recommending you keep this to yourself. That and destroy any trace of the pictures.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (7 March 2012):
I don't think you are being so bad. Masturbating is our own business and I think its ok to think of all kinds of things, exes as well. Its certainly not ok to let your husband know or find the pictures. If there is any chance of this then destroy them! You will still have your memory and fantasy to keep you going. And you seem to have spilled the beans..... despite my wife and many female posters on DC saying that penises and their size doesn't matter you have confirmed the reality that all men know, that women dream of (and masturbate over) good looking and big penises!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 March 2012):
 I don't see it as cheating, but I do see it as wrong.
I'm ALL for keeping photos and mementos from the past, but NOT inappropriate stuff like that.
And if all you can think of is that you ex's dick was bigger, you need to take a minute to remember out why your ex is your ex and why you are with your current BF, I'm betting his dick had nothing to do with it.
If they are on print I say burn them, if they are on your computer/cell delete them and empty the trash.
You can not focus on the future if you keep looking to the past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): Personally as long as you don't do anything but honesty is important in a relationship if you lie and he finds out the truth it could cause bigger problems in the future
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 Ok, lets flip the coin here - how would you feel if your husband was doing the same across you? How would you feel if he STILL had photos of an ex? I bet you wouldn't be quite so understanding!
By all means tell him - let him feel like crap, let him feel like he is second best. In my view this is bang out of order to be honest. You married this man and should not still be admiring naked photos of an ex. Are you seriously over this ex or are you trying to fool yourself?
My advice is - throw those photos away and concentrate on admiring your husbands naked body!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 March 2012):
 Cheating? probably not. Wrong? yes. You shouldn't tell him as it will needlessly hurt him, but you should put them somewhere you won't be tempted to look at them. As in somewhere that's VERY difficult to get to and impossible to accidentally find.
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