A
female
age
41-50,
*s_TC
writes:About 3 months ago I reconnected with an old flame from about 9 years ago! He seemed really excited to run into me, stated that he's now a business owner, a promoter, a father of 2 and is currently going through a separation. I, on the other hand, is still working two jobs, I have no children, and I've never been married. I'm just a hard working single girl! Anyways, he stated that he'd like to exchange numbers, and hang out some time, said he wanted to "date me". I was hesitant because neither one of us can recall why we fizzled out with absolutely no contact 9 years ago! Also, if you're separated with 2 kids how much "dating" can you do? I kinda let it go and he ended up calling me up a couple times, we talked, we ended up hanging out at my place and yes- we had sex a couple of times! A month or so goes by and he stops sleeping with me. He alluded to wanting it, and teased me, flirted like crazy but just wouldn't do it anymore. He said he felt like we were "just about the sex", however that he really does like me and we need to go out some time. However, he never makes the plans, never follows through. I attend all of his events that he promotes and he's super touchy feely with me, super flirty, hangs all over me at all these events. He's invited me to his shop, told me over and over that he wants to hang out but not at my place, because it leads him to sex and he doesn't want to have sex right now. I really like him and enjoy the sex, so I'm uber confused! Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I find out I'm up for a promotion on my job. His birthday is coming up so I'm excited and I tell him "if I get this promotion you can have a really great gift" (an expensive designer lable he's been wanting). Well a week later, he calls me up and lectures me about how he doesn't like surprises, I really don't have to get him anything, he would want something over the top like no other, etc..etc.. So, me being just the "friend who reconnected a couple months ago who he stopped sleeping with", took the pressure off myself and didn't buy him anything. After a 30 min convo about him getting bad gifts in the past and hating surprises, I didn't even go there.Well to this day he's not speaking to me. We had a text blow out about 5 days ago in which he said I "ran game on him like a guy" by buying him nothing, after bragging about how I was gonna get him something great. He insists I "played him" and just got silent on me cold turkey.I am super confused. I really like this guy, and he's told me he liked me too and its only been a couple months since we reunited. Why the attitude over a bday gift? What did I do wrong? Why is he shoving me aside?! Why the cold turkey no sex?!
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female
reader, katiekate +, writes (2 March 2012):
 This guy sounds a little crazy to me. Grown men, the normal ones, don't act like that. I wouldn't bother with this guy. You're not tied down...find someone more on your level. Besides, he's still married!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 March 2012):
 Guys throw up confusing and flaky behaviour either when they are covering up or they don't know what they want. This guy is all over the place.
Are you a friend?, Lover?, girlfriend? friend with benefits? public convienience?, a hook up? Booty call? financial supporter? Does he want you? Doesn't he want you?
Whatever the set up, it's confusing the hell out of you and keeping you dangling on that bit of string...right where he wants you until he can decide what he wants.
Really you need to cut the string, back off a billion miles and suddenly become very busy, because if this guy isn't actively chasing you and asking you to be his girlfriend and following it up with some action, then it's fair to say that he will continue to pick you up and drop you down at his whim for the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 March 2012):
 This guy obviously has very mixed feelings about getting together with you. You should leave him to his indecision and move on with your life.
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