A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Even when I am in a loving relationship, I can't stop looking at porn and engaging in conversation online with women on sex sites daily. I also masturbate daily. My first wife left me (18 years ago) for this reason, and my second wife is divorcing me after 9 years together. I know what I do is wrong, but I can't help myself. I am not sure if I know what love is, I want to make my relationships work, but I keep destroying things. Would love some advice.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 Sounds like you need some MASSIVE help in form of counseling/therapy. You have done this for decades and seem unable to help yourself, so go get help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): I think you need to go to a counselor and talk about all of this. It sounds like sex addiction since you do this compulsively even though you have had two women who loved you I assume and who were committed to you. Obviously you're not happy and it is messing up your life. Love is different for everyone, I feel it is being happy with the person you're with, feeling a deep bond with them, having trust and growing together and feeling at peace to be yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): You are not alone! Some people need sexual stimulation from outside of a relationship to feel powerful, not here to judge but get help! you are looking for some kind of power or control and for some reason your body is taking over your mind!I do believe that you can be helped, we are all flawed nobody is perfect! Don't get involved in a relationship until you get this under control its not fair to them.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (6 March 2012):
 You do sound like you have some type of sex addiction, you've have managed to damage two relationship over this and still you cannot stop. I suggest you contact your doctor and ask to see a counsellor as soon as possible. You need to find out why you act this way, and you also need to find out how to stop a habit which is destroying your social relationships. You can't do this by yourself, if you could you would have done it already. You need therapy and psychological help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): my advice would be get counseling, find a support group, a church, a preacher to talk to. do what ever has to be done , two marriages destroyed . get rid of the computer, or internet if need be.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Sounds like you may have a porn addiction. You should speak to a counselor/therapist. This affects around 15% of all porn users, you are not alone. There are also groups where people addicted to sex/porn can get together and talk about it, you'll have to google for it. There are many forums and sites dedicated entirely to the issue of porn addiction. It is possible to stop/overcome this, but it will take time and work.
Here is a good website to help you get started.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/
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