A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm getting worried now as me and my boyfriend has been together for a year and a half now and he has always struggled performing in the bedroom but we did manage it sometimes and when he did, we made the most of it. But recently it's got worse and I feel so low about myself like he's repelled by me and that I'm unattractive. I have suggested to him about going to the doctor just to check nothing is wrong and i got him the little blue pill to try ad help him if it is performance anxiety, but when i suggested either he just shoots me down... I'm trying not to let it ruin our relationship but I can feel us drifting further apart and arguing more and I don't know what to do... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): I do I always tell him how sexy I find him and If i instigate sex, I don't pressure it if he dont want too but I feel he thinks its a chore, and he's admitted he's just to lazy to have sex with me... How am I meant to feel about that? He has tried not masturbating and it doesn't work. And I've tried speaking about it twice now and neither time had a good outcome! I've never moaned to him about it and I only recently let him know it bothers me because I didn't want to kick his confidence. I'm beyond ideas to help him now...
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 May 2012):
 He will be embarrassed about it so that's why he will be short with you.
You will just have to try and ease him into intimacy, try and relax him as much as possible and if it happens, try not to make a big deal over it, because he will feel bad because of it and it will just send you back to square one. I know you're going to be disappointed with the bad sexlife, but arguing over it won't help.
Don't take it personally, I very much doubt it's your fault, if he was repelled by you, why would he want you to be his girlfriend?
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 If he won't go to a doctor to rule out physical problems, then you have to assume that it's psychological. Have you tried talking to him about it, or does it always result in a fight? Has he tried not masturbating? Sometimes men become overly used to the friction from their hands and have trouble performing with a woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous12345150 +, writes (25 May 2012):
dont lie to him and rap him up in cotton wool but try to complement him to boost he's self esteem.make sex sum thing relaxed and nice when sex feels like its pressured or a test or competition it goes downhill.also if he masterbates earlier in the day before u have sex it should stop him from cumin as quick.btw are u talking bout ED or PE?
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