A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I recently had my first time, but it hurt a lot, so I did some research and got some advice to try me on top next time.Only problem is, it seems like a really awkward position...But I'm sure you Aunts can help explain this to me so it's not as awkward-sounding, and so I might be ready to have sex with my bf with me on top.Please and Thank you! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advice!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2012):
 If you are embarrassed sit facing away from him so he can see your back/butt.
Another thing that makes it less awkward is dim the light or have 1-2 candles going only.
Most of all have fun with it. I bet you HE will.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 May 2012):
 First thing, your first time hurts most often because you're not aroused enough. Not because of the position. Girl on top is not going to help your initial arousal. You need to try more foreplay and get some lube for that part. Have him bring you close to orgasm, then put some lube on the outside of the condom to help.
Once you've been able to do that, then girl on top doesn't have to be hard. Make sure you're super super turned on. You should also get some lube, it will make things go a lot "smoother." In movies they always show the girls with their arms in the air sitting perpendicular to the guy and only using their legs. That is so they get a boob shot, not actually how most people do it.
The easiest that you are sort of on all fours, but lower to the group (with your knees in front of your hips instead of under them). If you leave your hands on the bed or his shoulders it will be 1000x easier. Then you just grab the base of his penis and guide it in. Go slow. The easiest way for beginners to get it in smoothly is to put in as much as is comfortable (this may only be an inch or two to start with) and then do gentle sort of up and down motions not pulling all the way out. Each time it should go in a little farther and signal to your muscles to relax. You shouldn't try to shove it all in in one go.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (27 May 2012):
p.s. - The wikipedia entry for "Woman on top (sex position)" at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman_on_top_%28sex_position%29 has an illustration labeled "couple engaged in the cowgirl position" that shows how we manage the initial insertion, before she leans forward.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (27 May 2012):
If you seed a search engine with sexual positions illustrations "woman on top" you will get a jillion hits, some of which have good information but you need to sift through a LOT of cutesy names and sites trying to sell you "adult products" before you find the useful stuff.
The "awkwardness" may be your embarrassment over doing some "unladylike" things. That is something you will need to work out between you and your partner.
My wife and I almost always start with her on top. It's the position we tried the second time we had sex - about two hours after we gave each other our virginities on our wedding night - and is probably the one we SHOULD have used the first time. It starts with me on my back, and her kneeling over my midsection. Her knees are roughly beside my hips, and as she lowers herself her vagina lines up with my erection and she guides me into her. It may take a little shifting of her hips to get the location and angle correct. She is usually leaning forward, her hands on the bed beside my shoulders when we are fully coupled. (It's easy to kiss like that, and both my hands are free to enjoy MANY parts of her body!)
After a few strokes she usually lays out full-length on me. Then we shift leg positions - we end up in what is probably best described as an "inverted missionary position". The "Woman on Top Sex Positions 7" of the "Sex Positions guide" site at http://www.sexpositionsguide.com/WOT/wot7.html is a pretty good illustration.
In short, she is laying on top of me, but taking a lot of her weight through her knees and hands (or elbows). My thighs are spread; my knees slightly raised. Her legs are together - she can use her hips and thigh muscles to position my man parts exactly where she wants them and get the movements, pressure, etc "just right". (I love to put my hands on her butt and feel the way her butt, thighs, and hips move as she does most of the work to bring herself to climax.)
After she has had a few orgasms we usually roll over to put me on top. It took a little practice to learn how this could be done smoothly, but she MUCH prefers to wrap arms and legs around me and feel me twitch and quiver as I finish inside her.
As an alternative to woman-on-top, you may want to experiment with the "spoons" position. (You are both laying on your sides. You bend a little at the waist, and he is behind you, molding his body to the curvature of yours - the way spoons fit together in the drawer.) "Spoons" lets you have more control over things like insertion angle, depth and rate of stroke, etc. Even though we aren't face-to-face, we think this is a very intimate position and often our choice for finishing when we expect to go to sleep after sex.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (27 May 2012):
 It's easy. You sit on him, straddling him. Then you gently lower yourself so that his penis enters your vagina. And then you love yourself up and down against it. Keep your knees on the floor. It makes things much easier. Don't do it the way they do it in porn. You'll lose balance. Keep your hands on the floor too, or on his shoulders.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012): i had mine for the first some months ago. when he was on top, it hurt real bad. it didnt even go in much. then few weeks ago he told me to get on top. i was nervous and scared. i refused but he told me it was gonna be fine. so yeah i got on top. trust me its less painful. initial state yeah it will be awkward but over time. its fun. :)
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