A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im seeing this guy for a few months. He has 8 inches, and says that he is being very gentle with me. This one time we had sex it hurt so bad, that I had lingering pain for 6 days, took painkillers. He said that was going about half as hard as he likes to, and made me cry at the end, hurt so bad... now wants to try us having sex 100 pct as hard as he likes it one time. I told him I would, but I am afraid. Is there any good way to relax the vagina beforehand? Is alcohol better or having oral sex on me and an orgasm better? Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): I am the OP, thank you for your responses. I should add that I didn't start crying until right after the sex act was over so he had no way of knowing. Also, today when he started to go harder, it made me scream so he stopped, so even though I appreciate that you are concerned who I am having sexual relations with, he is not only concerned about himself, we have been going at it gently for not weeks, but months, now... he is just... big.... and I would like to hear if you have any more *practical* advice for me on how to make the transition smoother toward being able to take him all the way in, in time.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 May 2012):
 So sex ids ALL about HIS enjoyment? The fact that you are in pain, crying and CERTAINLY not enjoying SHOULD make a decent man STOP.
And honestly DO NOT dull your senses with alcohol so HE can enjoy himself.
I would personally, tell him to go F himself.
You will end up hating sex if you don't tell him that the sex isn't working for you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 May 2012):
 "OP what kind of guy that has sex with you to point of crying is now demanding that you go for something that's even more painful?"Exactly. This guy is not caring about you or your feelings at all. You were crying in pain as a direct result of him, and all he can think about is how to make it better for himself next time! You are talking about medicating yourself to overcome the pain he causes because he is so uncaring to your pain. Seriously, re read your question. You are describing sex as this obligation to him, just something that has to be done.Sex is supposed to be about pleasure and fun. But in order for that to happen that has to extend to both people. Do you think that simply because you are a woman you are expected to be a receptacle for him and if you enjoy it, it's just a perk?It's true that a baby can fit out. But there are tons of hormones and extreme pain that go into that. Also I'm guessing the problem here is he is hitting your Cervix since he's 8in? I lost my virginity to someone that long and we ended up stopping seeing each other at least partially because of it, and he was being gentle.This guy is bad news. If he is literally so caught up over masturbating into you that he doesn't give a crap that you're crying this is not someone you should be with. I mean seriously, who does that? You want to be with someone who either doesn't care about or enjoys hurting you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): Plenty of foreplay and lube, but OP I must warn you it might not be possible without extreme pain.
If it's that painful at half strength then there's no way you should try it at 100%. Not until you've tried it more times at half.
OP vaginas can stretch a lot and I'm sure people will tell you if you can fit a baby out of it then a penis should be no problem but that's not true. Some people just do not fit.
Do not bring alcohol into the mix, do not take painkillers beforehand either. OP the pain is there to tell you not to and he wasn't being gentle of he put you through that amount of pain, you have to stop him, slow him down or have him put only a tiny bit in if it's that sore. If you have sex masking that pain he will do serious perhaps irreparable damage that can completely impair your sexual function permanently so don't do that. He could cause the kind of tearing that can cause serious damage.
Your best bet is to go very, very slowly and take lots of time as in weeks and perhaps months slowly getting used to his size.
OP what kind of guy that has sex with you to point of crying is now demanding that you go for something that's even more painful?
You need to take greater control here. Sex is about 2 people enjoying themselves not one person getting what they want and the other person enduring extreme agony to give that to them.
Take control, he has to be patient with you OP and you have to ensure he takes it slowly. As I said it might take weeks, and the risk of permanent vaginal damage is very high so protect yourself from that. Please don't get wasted and have sex, if you think 6 days on painkiller is bad wait until you see what happens if you both get wasted and carried away.
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A
female
reader, Beatriceandjohn  +, writes (26 May 2012):
If he can't take it easy with u he might as well get f...cked he does not care about anything but self pleasure.. U see that, right
U don't have to do it... Good luck...
Sex should be about mutual enjoyment... X
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