A
female
age
51-59,
*uesman12
writes:Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him that its degrading to me. I always give it to him when he wants it but i hate the feeling.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): I don't get why people still have a use for pornography in a relationship. If you are having sex with them they don't need it.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 May 2012):
 "And I believe the 'use it or lose it' statement can be applied to most physical actions, whether or not supported by medical evidence (which I think it is)!"
The only way masturbation has been linked to ED is through too much masturbation causing ED.
"Just like many woman prefer the orgasm from their vibrator"
But they don't. If they could orgasm as quickly/easily as men, I think most women would happily get rid of it.
Also only 60-70% of men masturbate regularly.
Your whole response assumes women don't enjoy masturbation or that masturbation for men and women is somehow a profoundly different experience, when it isn't. Women get horny, masturbate, have orgasms. We do it for the same reasons as men do, sleep aid, relaxation, fun, out of horniness, out of habit. It's not different.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (25 May 2012):
Well apart from the physical aspect for men there is a very strong positive psychological effect from masturbating. All men do it, and I would bet 90% of women have slept soundly next to their man wacking off, with or without porn. Just like many woman prefer the orgasm from their vibrator I think many men enjoy the relaxed self pleasing. Personally I prefer a real woman and if you boyfriend doesn't then you have a valid issue.And I believe the 'use it or lose it' statement can be applied to most physical actions, whether or not supported by medical evidence (which I think it is)!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 May 2012):
"If males only had erections when their partners wanted sex we men would all have Erectile Dysfunction (ED) at an early age. And then what would you women say?"
And your evidence for this is what exactly? Because there is no evidence for this anywhere in the history of medicine ever. Healthy men get erections several times a night, whether they masturbate or not, whether they want them or not. Masturbation does not make your penis healthier. There are no documented cases of "use it or lose it." There are, however, MANY documented cases of "you overuse it, you lose it."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): Did you know about this at the beginning? I would of stopped it as soon as i found out. I gave my bf the ultimatum after two months of dating! I had only known about it for three weeks. I stupidly thought it was ok one week and his face lightened up it's disgusting that people like videos/pics of people who aren't real.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): What an expensive way to support a porn habit, wow.
My boyfriend has to use Viagra and we treat them as gold....if he was using the pills to jerk off to porn, that man would be gone, gone, gone.
Do you know how long this has been going on? And he is telling you he isn't going to stop? Well, at least he was honest about it. You may want to seriously reconsider this relationship...he reads very selfish and is not considering your needs and wants, only to satisfy his...he may very well have a problem with porn. Not exactly something most women wish to compete with or should have to compete with. Personally, I would kick the guy to the curb, hard as it might be, but I enjoy sex a lot and want that with a partner, not by myself.
So sorry....
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (25 May 2012):
I am sorry but women have no understanding of the male need to test his equipment! If males only had erections when their partners wanted sex we men would all have Erectile Dysfunction (ED) at an early age. And then what would you women say? The fact that your bf needs viagra shows he has some ED and you would be better off giving him a few more bjs than castigating his attempt to keep his penis in working order.However if he did this after refusing to have sex with you then he has a serious confidence issue and this is a problem for both of you.
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 May 2012):
 That's a new one. For me anyway. A man who takes viagra to masturbate. He needs pills because he can't even turn HIMSELF on. What good is he to you?
I might have sympathy for him if he weren't so self absorbed.
What he does or doesn't do, what anyone does or doesn't do is not a reflection of you or your value as a person. I think you need to work on separating the two.
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A
female
reader, curious1987  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Dump him and find someone that is going to give u the love and satisfaction that u need and want. he sounds very selfish and only thinking about himself. Good luck. Xx
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (25 May 2012):
 He sounds lazy and inconsiderate of your feelings, Tell him to screw off...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 May 2012):
If he doesn't care about your feelings and frequently chooses porn over sex, you should first try counseling. If that doesn't help, you can't force someone to change and should leave if you are unhappy.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Yes leave him if he does not satisfy you emotionally or physically; if he's watching porn and taking viagra when your not looking and says he doesnt care how you feel; then he's not worth keeping.
Goodluck!
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