A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am seventeen and a few months into my first real relationship. Everything about it seems more perfect than even the most sticky-sweet fairy tale could possibly imagine but it terrifies me to think of it being really serious because it seems impossible that my first boyfriend would be my only significant other, ever. It seems inevitable that we will break up because that's just how stupid teenage relationships have to work, at least that's what everyone around me seems to assume. I don't want to give him all of me if it isn't going to last but I just feel like it could, maybe that's crazy but it doesn't seem that way to me. Do you believe it's possible to get it right the first time? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (27 May 2012):
I'll cast my vote with the "possible, but not common" group. You CAN ". . . get it right the first time . . .". Not necessarily because you are lucky, but because you two are intent on being the the right kind of people who can make that happen. And yes, it takes BOTH of you to make that happen - and at your age, it will probably take a bit longer before both of you know if that is true or not.
Among my acquaintances I know two couples who met during High School, married during or shortly after university, and have remained married for over 35 years.
I had my first girlfriend in the last two months of High School and our relationship lasted about 6 months. In retrospect, I honestly think we could have had a successful and fulfilling marriage.
It would be 4 years before I had another girlfriend. We met a few months after we had both finished university. We were married one year plus two weeks after we first saw each other, and are still married (to each other!) almost 38 years later. I believe my wife and I are a better match for each other than the match between my first girlfriend and I - but I have to wonder if that's due to the maturity factor of meeting my wife when we were both 22, while my first relationship started when we were just short of 18.
Between the lines of your question you asked about having a sexual relationship with your B/F. I think you would be wise to wait. Several studies show that many teen couples -even after being together for many months, or even years - break up shortly after adding sex to their relationship. One couple I mentioned above waited for almost 4 years, and were within a few months of their wedding, before they had sex. My wife and I were wedding night virgins (at 23). If you will, indeed, be each other's life partner there will be plenty of time to develop a very satisfying and fulfilling sex life with each other. If you follow the more common pattern of couples your age, and break up within a year or two, you may prefer to save that part of yourself for the person who DOES become your life partner.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): My grandmother only had one bf since she was 13 and im glad to call that man my gradfather, and they're still inlove...its possible. life is all about taking chances, give him all of you, but just remember, if it doesnt work out there is always something better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 May 2012):
 I'm pretty sure it's possible. IT may not be probable for everyone, but WHY not you two?
I think you should just enjoy it, be ready to work on it when needed and be honest with yourself and your partner.
I don't believe in Happily Ever After, but I DO believe you can find someone who DOES makes you happy.
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A
female
reader, Tiggz  +, writes (26 May 2012):
Hi there,
I myself do believe it is possible to get it right the first time, i have met many people that have met at school and have been married for many years. you must remember at the end of the day no marriage nor relationship will work without both parties being willing enough to do it together. Happiness starts within a person and there on carries on too others. I really hope all works out well and also remember another thing, don't always listen to others, follow your heart and what it tells you is best for you. xx
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 May 2012):
 Possible, I'm my boyfriend's first girlfriend and we plan to be together the rest of our lives. He's my first official/real boyfriend, but he's not the first guy I've dated, slept with, or anything similar. I've been very picky about who I will stick with.
There's no way to know if it will last right now. As you said, you're only a few months in. You're still totally infatuated with each other and should enjoy every minute of it (it's called the honeymoon phase). If you want to wait for marriage to have sex, wait until marriage. Don't worry yourself speculating on whether or not your relationship will survive, right now it sounds like it's going great and you should just relax and enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2012):
 Yes, of course it is. You're going to meet someone that you will one day marry, why couldn't it be your first boyfriend?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 May 2012):
 It is possible. Not very common, it does not happen very often. But definitely, it can happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): It's possible, but not likely. (like asking "is it possible to win the lottery if I buy this ticket?" - yes of course it's possible, as obviously there are people every year who win the lottery, but your chances of also having that outcome are not great)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): for most people it's not, but that's not to say it can never happen. my grandparents were each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend, they got married at 18 and lived happily ever after for the next 60+ years until my grandpa died first. So it is possible. Statistically speaking though, for most people it's not going to be your first bf/gf who turns out to be "the one" for you.
you shouldn't worry about it or think of it this way, because you can't predict the future so you could be one of those few for whom it is. You should give this relationship your all, because if you don't then you're practically guaranteeing it will fail at some point.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): Just so you know, it is possible. My fiance, whom I will be marrying next month, has never had another boyfriend other than me. It seems that things have worked out well :P
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 May 2012):
 Of course it's possible. I'm my husband's first girlfriend. He never even kissed another girl before he met me. We're still married at 13 years and have been together 19 years and neither of us regret it one bit!
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