A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have no problem making myself climax when I masturbate and i've had plenty of orgasms thru oral sex with previous bfs but, for some reason, my current bf just can't make me cum. It's frustating although i don't make it a big deal as I know he's even more frustrated than me. The problem is that we have very little foreplay and he usually just go straight to my clit. After a few minutes, he gets tired and i tell him to stop because i know its not going to happen. I told him to lick other places and that he shouldnt go to my clit right away, that i need some build up but i don't think he understands. He's made me cum a handful of times in like 7 months. I dont know how to handle it anymore. I can't really explain what needs to be done and i also dont want to look like im "educating" him when apparently he's known as being good at oral with his previous partners.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 May 2012):
 First of all, you should never get into comparisons with past BF's or his GF's. Every person is different.
That being said, it's hard to work with someone who thinks they know what women want. It's okay to tell him what works and what doesn't, and he should be able to handle it without feeling questioned. Person is absolutely right. Tell him what you want. Guys have no problem guiding a woman in what makes them feel good. Never assume that someone's just supposed to *get* it. In fact, if you're measuring sexual compatibility on someone's ability to know what you want without being told, that's not really a good idea at all.
A
male
reader, Cutless  +, writes (29 May 2012):
Then educate him,since he is frustrated too,help the poor boy out.show him were to go and were not to.or is oral sex the only means to make you cum.you two can do other things
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 May 2012):
 You are both "wrong" in a sense. You are being pretty unfair here. No matter how good his reputation is for oral sex, all women are different. It's not his fault he can't figure you out if you aren't giving him instructions.
He shouldn't be ignoring your instructions not to go straight for your clitoris, but from the sound of it you are not being very forward in instructing him. I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings or something, but he needs guidance here. Rather than criticize, just tell him what you like. During foreplay just moan about how much you love when he does _____ and then put on a show for him about how awesome it is when he does it. He should get the hint, just be sure to really be obvious about this "hint."
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