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How can I tell my husband that he's way too rough during sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 June 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *elissa2012 writes:

so this is a little bit emberrasing..but about a month ago i was allowed to have a congical visit (when prisoner and usually the wife get to stay in private housing on prison grounds) with my husband.he's been in prison for 4 years. he just got out yesterday, but when i had the visit with him we had sex. he was VERY rough. to the point were it hurt to walk to my car the next day..i told him to slow down but i dont think he heard me..is this normal? it almost felt like he was angry but after he acted normal..im afraid he will do this again but i will feel bad telling him something because he hasnt had sex in 4 years. i want to know if this is normal and how i can tell him it hurts me without hurting his feelings?

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A female reader, melissa2012 United States +, writes (10 June 2012):

melissa2012 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

melissa2012 agony auntHahahaa (: ok. thanks

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 June 2012):

Honeypie agony auntBe honest, tell him to slow down. He can't BANG out all 4 years in a few strokes and that your vagina isn't the reason he went to prison so please stop punishing it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2012):

well, hes been locked up for 4 years. Hes probably going to have a lot of aggression built up but if hes still rough in a few days then sweetly let him know hes being a jerk by taking it out on you. Just be sure its not just something he needs to get out of his system first. Hes been through a lot. Give him a minute to adjust. And youre a loyal lady to be concerned about his feelings. Good luck

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (10 June 2012):

person12345 agony auntIt sounds like he had some pent up frustration and anger and decided to treat your vagina like a punching bag. Someone who respects women as human beings doesn't do that. Someone who respects you doesn't ignore you when you tell him it hurts. Is this really the kind of husband you want?

You need to speak up when it hurts. If he does something you don't like, be loud, be heard.

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A female reader, melissa2012 United States +, writes (10 June 2012):

melissa2012 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

melissa2012 agony auntthank you (: ill try

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (10 June 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI think he had a lot of frustration build up inside him and he let it all out during sex with you. However if you told him to slow down he should have. I can understand why you are worried I would be as well. Rough sex to the point where it hurts is never good. So there really is only one thing you can do about it and that is tell him the truth. Be honest with him and tell him it hurt you. Tell him you want to get the sex life back that you once had and show him what works for you.

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