A
female
age
30-35,
*ep218
writes:Ok, So I was on here yesterday and saw a question about a girl who's boyfriend was looking at online porn chat shows. Almost everyone replied and said that he was wrong and that isn't appropriate in a relationship; that he was taking it a step too far. But then another question on here where a guy went to a stip club behind his wife's back, and everyone thought that was ok...So looking at live people online having sex is wrong, but seeing naked girls dance and grind on men is ok? I am personally against both, I just can't figure out why some think one is okay, but the other one isn't.xoxo
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Charter114 +, writes (1 June 2012):
I'm a guy, and i dontbsee what the big deal is. It's the human body. Nudity is the natural state. I could go to a strip club today and not feel a thing, because I separate sex from nudity.But in my past experience, any guy who would continue to watch online porn or frequent strip clubs is having a crisis in their life that, more often than not, they themselves are not aware of.Take for instance, the middle aged, balding male. He's starting to feel older, he's noticing changes and aging, and he wants to recapture his youth. In every young mans youth the most important thing is girls. So it's only makes sense for him to begin frequenting the strip clubs. The porn may relate to his fear of inability to perform. It may also be related to an addiction. Porn is a drug, regardless of what people may say. People become addicted to it every day, and I myself was at one point. But I got help. Porn may also cause problems driving the person in question back to it.Say for instance, he watched it years ago. After watching it long enough, every guy becomes worried he can't be good enough for a woman in bed. If he worries about it, he may try harder in bed. If he doesn't, then he's at peace with his ersonal ability.But to look at the more simple answer: if he has before, then he Dan again. He's not cheating. He's not ignoring his significant other for the Internet porn. It's simply a pastime. Just not one that's widely accepted.There's nothing wrong with porn. It's just another part of life. Most kids now days learn about sex from porn. Past generations have watchd it, many as kids, and they urged out okay. Society tells us it's dirty, just as society tells us being a virgin is a bad thing. I suffer from dealing with the virginity thing. I can't accept it's not a bad thing, and it's ruining my life with every passing day. That doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It just means the world has had a bad effect on me. The same with him.If we lived in a world withut Internet porn, and nobody watched it, many people would never leaner what they know about sex, it could cause many people (particularly young people) to become depressed, and even ashamed of sex or their bodies. While porn does that as well, it's been more educational than people would like to believe.Also, there's no gaurs tee it's the same for this man, but for myself it's often been something I turned to in times of distress...a sort of comfort zone. I don't know why, and no one I know can explain it. That's just the way it is.The human mind works in mysterious ways.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Certainly not for me, I don't find strip clubs, live chats, or porn acceptable in my relationships. I would never advise an aunt that she was overreacting for being upset because her boyfriend or husband went to a strip club.
...............................
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (31 May 2012):
Depending on the context, I would say both could be wrong, especially if the person is going to strip clubs often and behind the wife's back. However, generally, I would find that the occasional strip club venture might be less bad partly for the same reasons that CindyCares mentioned (ie they will not be getting off IN the strip club), but also because going to a strip club is sometimes a social activity. They might be going there because their friend is having their bachelor party there or what not. It might not and usually is not a frequent occurrence, and might not be for the reason of seeing naked people, but due to friends going. Whereas watching people have sex online at home is usually a singular activity that they are choosing to do to get aroused and get off. It is something that can be and likely is something done frequently (you can easily go online and do this everyday, whereas monetarily and time wise it probably isn't feasible to go to strip clubs all the time).
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (31 May 2012):
 pep: Regardless of what Aunts and Uncles say on this site... YOUR feelings and beliefs about these activities are YOUR'S and your's alone.... so the feelings and beliefs of "others" are of no importance.....
P.S. I think both are pretty stupid... but it's not my place to judge others who may wish to partake in or view them....
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 I am not an expert on either one, on line porn shoes and strip clubs. ( Particularly on the first, because strip clubs, I 've been to ). So maybe I am saying something stupid or incorrect. But I'd think that the difference is in the fruition of the experience,, in the " happy ending ".
People watch porn shows on line, I am told, with the specific intention of getting aroused, masturbating and getting a physical release.
While if you take out your d... at a strip club and start playing with yourself, a couple of enormous bouncers will grab you by the scruff of your neck and kick you out before you can say " oh ".
So the first is equiparable to a sexual act, it IS a sexual act at a distance, - same as having cybersex with some unknown online partner, both in the intentions and in the results. The second is indoubtly titillating , a sexual teasing, but it pertains more to the realms of fantasies , of sexy daydreams. It's less sexually charged both in intentions ( not all people goes to strip clubs specifically to get aroused ) and in effects.
So, as it is surely legitimate to find BOTH behaviours more or less equivalent and morally unacceptable , to me it makes sense that a lot of people would see the second as a much less serious " offence "
...............................
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Hi, i personally have not seen the replies to either questions your on about, however every agony aunt gives advice depending on their experiences and opinions.
I agree with you, i think both are not acceptable actions
...............................
|
