A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i just lost my virginty a few days ago , but it pained alot ,and couldnt even let him enter me fully . i am soo confused is this normal? how long does it take for me not to feel any pain ? and when will i get something out of it ,and i never blead why is that? please please help
View related questions:
lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeybun  +, writes (2 June 2012):
 sigh i was never nervous but i am so petite ....
i think it felt better like 3 months ater i lost my v-card
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Having sex more does not make sex hurt less. Pain during sex usually means you are not aroused enough. Even experienced women have pain if they just try to shove it in there without enough foreplay. If you have enough foreplay even the very first time shouldn't hurt. The reason women typically stop having pain after they've done it a few times is because they better learn how to be aroused and their bodies get the message that they're having sex and should relax earlier on.
If you want the pain to stop, you need to stop having sex until you can have your boyfriend get you close to orgasm. Once he can, try sex then. You can also add a water-based lube.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 It'll start feeling good once he stats paying attention to pleasuring you. And plainly thrusting in and out rarely does the trick, for any woman, regardless of age. He needs to kiss you, touch you, grab at you, caress you, use his tongue and fingers on you, be passionate with you etc. Then you'll start to enjoy sex. Penetration/intercourse is only part of the big play, and you'll not feel much pleasure from it unless he follows up with all the other things as well.. For example: does he know how to give you pleasure at all, in any way or form, just through touching you, kissing you, nibbling at your skin etc?
As for how long it will take until you don't feel any pain having intercourse... well, IF your man is turning you on, making you wet, and caressing you etc, then the pain will soon go away and you will enjoy it. Maybe 2-3 times of having intercourse and then you'll be fine.
However, if all he does is thrust in and out and doesn't caress you, make you turned on, kiss you etc, it'll probably continue to hurt all the time. I mean, it hurts for me too if I'm not wet and the man is just going in and out and nothing else... It's right out unpleasant.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): This is something all the women are worried about at first, but as the time passes it would get better and you would start enjoying sex with your partner. Use a lot of lube and that would definitely reduce the pain. Secondly go on top so you have control over the speed and penetration level. Don't let it go too deep for now and just tell him to be slow. Its usually after the first few times that you would not really feel the pain. May be after the first 5-10 times or may be before that :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Yes this is normal. How long does it take to not feel ANY pain? That depends on many things. Those things being; do you (or did you) have an hymen? What type of hymen did you have (which will determine how much tearing needs to occur)? Did he completely tear your hymen during your first sexual act? Will more tearing need to occur (a fair percentage of women with an intact hymen need more than one experience of penetrative sexual intercourse in order to completely tear the hymen)?
There are other factors too; like making sure you are sufficiently aroused. This is achieved through a good amount of foreplay to get your vagina to balloon out, elongate, and lubricate itself (get wet) in order to allow the penis to enter you with ease.
Also remember, this is probably the first time you have had something the size of your partners penis inside you, so you will need to get used to the stretching and the feeling of a man being inside you (which shouldn't be painful, but probably more of a discomfort).
Different women react to their first time differently. Some women experience no pain, some experience moderate pain, and some experience great pain. The best advice I can give you is that if there are no physical or emotional barriers keeping you from experiencing sex as a pleasurable experience, you WILL get used to it and it WILL get better. How long it will take is also different. Knowing your body and what feels good to you - and communicating that to your partner is important in receiving the greatest amount of pleasure from sex. Foreplay also helps you relax and get the maximum pleasure from the experience before he attempts to penetrate you, which right now is proving to be a bit painful for you. Let yourself bask in the foreplay and the feelings of being touched, kissed, licked and so on - which might hopefully lead to orgasm. Orgasm, before penetration, can really help the muscles relax and the body prepare itself for sexual intercourse.
Why didn't you bleed? A woman, to my understanding, will only bleed if there is a hymen that is intact and has been torn during a sexual act. It is possible that your partner either did not tear your hymen while attempting to penetrate (this happens) or there is no hymen to tear - and therefore no bleeding.
Good luck on your next endeavor.
Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 If you are sufficiently aroused, you will feel no pain. Make sure there is enough foreplay before intercourse. Ask him to go down on you (cunnilingus) before penetration. And as a last option, use a water-based lubricant.
...............................
|
