A
female
age
41-50,
*mpala girl
writes:I'm 33 years old mother of 3 been married 12 years husband has looked at porn since he was a teenager. At first I was mad about it then realized He wasn't gonna stop no matter what. So I accepted it even though it hurt. He has told me when he watches it he thinks of me don't know if its true. So decided to watch it with him to see what would happen its was a big turn on. So we would fool around. However I have bi polar disorder and a disease that makes my hair fall out in patches and my meds have made me gain weight. So when we watch it and fool around I get very insecure wondering if he is turned on by the girls in the videos more then me. Also he looks at women all the time when we are out. That bothers me. I get mad when he looks at porn by himself. But not if he does it with me. What's wrong with me I don't understand
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 it's typical for the female to see porn as somehow a threat or something. but males see porn as excitement and read nothing into it other than what it is...images to admire and envy
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Nothing is wrong with you.
Have you talked to him about how you feel when he looks at other women with you when you are out? He may not be able to help it but it may not be a reflection on you...
I mean do you look at a good looking guy when you see him? I do. And just because I look does not mean I don't want my partner... or that he's less attractive to me because this other guy is good looking...
as for the porn, many women don't like it at all... so don't think you are abnormal for not wanting him to look at it alone... again talk to him about it.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 If he's looking at other women when your out, no wonder your insecure. You need to have a good talk with him. This is not just porn, your guy isn't making you feel like your the woman who lights up his world. Tell him how hurt you feel, by the porn, him looking at other women... explain how you feel.
Many women hate porn. Many women prefer it the man watches it with them. Many women do find porn a turn on, especially when they watch it with their guy. All these things are normal.
PS: Sorry about the bi-polar thing, the consequences of the medication and the illness sometimes make people feel less pretty. It is important to tell him how you feel in your heart right now. He probably doesn't understand you is hurting.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Nothing is wrong with you. More than half of women hate porn in their relationships. There is an enormous difference between looking at porn alone and looking together as well. I highly recommend you look at the numerous links on my profile about this topic, I think they would help you feel a lot better. You can get there by clicking on my username.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 There is nothing wrong with you. You're a human being with feelings. There are all kinds of authorities online who will tell you that porn is ok, it is just an outlet, and to just get over it. But, that is not how I see it. If one partner has a problem with it, then the other person should stop. It is not healthy behavior to sit in front of a computer screen or tv screen for hours a day or week and watch porn. Plus, it is no different than any other problem in a marriage. It involves compromise. You have tried and it isn't working for you. But there is nothing wrong with you. You are just hurting and your husband doesn't seem to care.
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