| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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He lasts for so long, and likes it so hard that I feel sore after sex. Any advice?
Q. hey, this may sound like a strange problem, as it's something many women wish their man could do. my boyfriend lasts too long in bed if you know what i mean.. if we want to have sex then we have to make sure we have atleast an hour and 1/2 fre...
A. 8 September 2012: "you hear about some guys coming after a 10-20 mins"
The average is five minutes. If it's taking him forever and a day to finish he should try abstaining from masturbating for a bit to see if that helps (it's the most common reason). The grip of ... (read in full...)
What can I do about the unwanted gift my mother in law gave me? It disturbed my husband and I. What was I supposed to do?
Q. I'm in a situation that I'm not sure whether was a nice gesture or something very strange/kind of disturbing. I'm not sure how to prevent future uncomfortable incidents without hurting my mother-in-law's feelings. Some background info might be ne...
A. 8 September 2012: Just toss them and if she brings it up thank her for them.... (read in full...)
Why do women get post natal depression, while others haven't found love/ struggle with infertility?
Q. Why would you get post natal depression? What is there to get depressed about? As I haven't had children I can't understand. As opposed to be single and getting depressed because you haven't met The right person yet and don't know if you will...
A. 8 September 2012: Post-partum depression isn't about a decision or regret or upset, it's a chemical/hormonal imbalance that occurs after the sudden change in hormones from giving birth. It's a serious medical issue that affects many women. I've never given birth but ... (read in full...)
Why do my blowjobs have to hurt so much? Is this normal?
Q. When my girlfriend gives me a blow job, it hurts me. My penis tip is too sensitive and I can't enjoy it. I always have to jerk myself and cum in her mouth. When I touch my tip with my finger, its not sensitiive to my finger touching. When I cum in ...
A. 8 September 2012: Is she being very aggressive with how she does it? I could see it being possible that she is being very rough with the tip because it has the most senstation. Either tell her to be more gentle and lay off the tip, or stop having oral sex. If it ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 4 years won't stop going on dating sites. Is it worth trying to sort this out?
Q. Hi, I am new on here and would really like some advice on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend 4 years. He wont stop going on dating sites. I have caught him doing it and seen it with my own eyes 3 times, I have also got to the point where I ...
A. 7 September 2012: You need to dump him. There is no other option. He's either cheating on you, trying to cheat on you, or making sure he has options open on the side. You are wasting your breath, he won't stop. He doesn't care about your feelings at all, he will do ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Our anniversary was ruined.
Q. Yesterday was my boyfriend's and I three year anniversary. He went out to get something and got caught up and stayed out for two and a half hours. I got really upset because our time was limited and he completely wasted it outside. I kept calling ...
A. 7 September 2012: You need to dump this abusive asshole. He asks out other girls, which is bad enough on its own, but he asks them out WHILE YOU'RE TOGETHER, and on your birthday. How much more blatantly disrespectful can he be? He gets physical when you fight, and ... (read in full...)
Is a woman being objectified in this situation?
Q. If two guys happen to like the same woman, and one of them sees the other one as 'competition', does that not mean that he (the one who sees the other one as competition) sees the woman as a prize to be won, and is therefore objectifying her? A tr...
A. 7 September 2012: It means two guys like the same woman and both want to be better than the other hoping she will like him. I wouldn't say it's a feminist issue.... (read in full...)
When will it be safe again to have sex without extra precautions?
Q. just over two weeks ago i was taking my pill, with the only drink i could get hold of, coke, and i am unsure whether i swallowed it, bear in mind it was a can of coke and i could not see inside. so just incase how long should i take extra ...
A. 7 September 2012: Did you finish the can of coke? I'm a little unsure how you could not know if you swallowed it or not.
Either way, if something is messed up with the pills generally you are protected after taking 7 days of active pills (NOT counting the sugar pi... (read in full...)
Guys, is Virginity really important to you? I'm scared to lose my virginity. But wish I had.
Q. I am not a person who goes with the crowd but most of the time, I am scared of losing my virginity before marriage. Now I probably regret not having sex when I was younger, because I had always wanted to have sex. What's the difference even ...
A. 7 September 2012: The only men I could imagine not wanting to have sex with a virgin are ones looking for an easy lay who don't want to deal with that. If a man is upset you are one, stop and reevaluate if he really actually wants to date you or if he's going to ... (read in full...)
My libido has gone from 100% to about 10%
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over three years. I lost my virginity to him when I was thirteen, but as soon as my parents found out they broke us up. Anyway I’m eighteen now, and recently my libido has gone from 100% to about 10%. I ...
A. 6 September 2012: Two things come to mind first:
1. As someone else mentioned, are you on the pill? You should consider switching if you are. That can just torch your libido.
2. I know you say you enjoy it while it's happening, but do you have an easy orgasm e... (read in full...)
Should I get the gastric bypass surgery done?
Q. I'm 16 almost 17, I have always been overweight and at this time in my life I think I'm ready to move forward and start working to lose my weight. I'm in the 300s and I'd really love to lose this. I know people are going to say your young and w...
A. 6 September 2012: You haven't elaborated much on this, but I think you need to put in more of an effort to diet and exercise first. A gastric bypass is VERY serious surgery and should be a last resort if nothing else is working. You need to adopt a diet before you go ... (read in full...)
Answers needed to a lot of questions on Long Distance Relationships
Q. I want to limit my background info so that I don't bias the readers of this question. I am entering my first LDR. That's all you get for now! So here's my questions: *What's been the hardest thing to go through? *What were some of your tech...
A. 6 September 2012: *What's been the hardest thing to go through?
Every aspect of it. You can't touch each other, you feel distanced emotionally, you have to rely 100% on trust, you can only see each other for maybe an hour a day at most, the whole thing is the hard... (read in full...)
How can I study for an exam and attend a wedding that are both in the same month?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a love related question but you guys are soo sensible I decided to reach out to you.. I have an important exam in december it literally decided my life,and who I will become..but I think my family they don't seem to ca...
A. 6 September 2012: I think you should just find someplace else to study (or lock your door) while your sister and family are obsessing over the wedding. You could even make a schedule for when you plan to study and post it on your door with little 15 minute breaks so ... (read in full...)
Is she telling the truth about miscarrying?
Q. A girl i was seeing told me she was pregnant with my child and after stating her reasons she decided to terminate it as she said he wasnt mature enough or financially ready to bring up a child and also since alot of stuff had gone on between us she ...
A. 5 September 2012: Is there a reason you don't trust her?... (read in full...)
What's the worst thing that can happen with yeast infections if it's not treated right away?
Q. my girlfriend told me she might have a yeast infection. i could tell she isn't as wet and it's actually thick like cream. she's going for a check up this week. but i am worried about my mouth. should i get it checked?! what's the worst thing ...
A. 5 September 2012: Like SoVeryConfused said, could turn into thrush, but probably not. A yeast infection is just when normal bodily functions get out of control, it's not caused by external infections.
If you get little white spots in your mouth go get checked ... (read in full...)
All of my friends have boyfriends except for me!
Q. Recently all of my friends have got boyfriends, or have someone who likes them, all except for me. I feel as though I'm the ugly one of my group of friends, they don't make me feel like this, it's just I know that in our group I'm probably the least ...
A. 5 September 2012: I second the others. The other seem falsely to be more attractive because they are probably more comfortable in their own skin than you are. Picture another woman in your grade you think is attractive. Is she constantly smiling that fake kind of ... (read in full...)
How do guys see needy girls? If a girl is very needy will it not matter to a guy if he TRULY loves?
Q. I'm really confused. Two days ago, my LDR ex bf broke up with me. Deep down I know it's mainly because I was being too needy and pushed him too far. I always cry during our skype, complaining he didn't spend enough time online with me, I was e...
A. 5 September 2012: There are some important differences with your friend though. Fighting is tiring, but usually doesn't feel so tiring as neediness. When someone is very clingy, it is exhausting. You feel a constant pressure to be there for them and a constant guilt ... (read in full...)
I'm feel very insecure thinking that my girlfriend enjoys masturbating more than sex with me.
Q. I have been going out happily with my gf for 9 months. I'm 21. Recently however I have been getting very insecure about our sex and whether it is actually good for her. Sure we do it a lot and sometimes she orgasms, some she doesn't. The problem is ...
A. 5 September 2012: Have you tried talking to her about it? I'd say the two things you need to ask are, a) is there anything about our sex life you think we could improve/I can do to make it better? And b) ask her to talk about it less? How do you know she thinks ... (read in full...)
Before I speak to a doctor can anyone tell me about Cerazette (birth control)?
Q. Been on the cerazette pill for quite a few months now and I hate it. I would bleed constantly for 3 weeks have a week without bleeding and then bleed for another 3 weeks. It's just a nightmare. I've taken the pill correctly everyday and have never ...
A. 5 September 2012: There's no way that we can know what's going on. If you believe you are pregnant, take a pregnancy test. Also talk to your doctor and find out what's going on. They will likely do a pregnancy test and switch you to another pill/form of bc.... (read in full...)
This internet conflict went too far, and I don't know what to do.
Q. I'm 15, and i frequently use the website tumblr. i am a sophomore. i made a post with advice for freshman, and at the end i said (jokingly) "if you scream when you see your friends, i'll hit you". this girl messaged me anonymously saying things like ...
A. 4 September 2012: What you have encountered is called an internet troll. Do not feed the trolls! When you get stupid messages like that you just need to ignore them. I know you didn't ask for this, but seriously don't write things like I'm going to slap you or kick ... (read in full...)
Advice on choice of condom needed.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have always used Trojan Her Pleasure condoms, but the condom has never been able to roll down to the base of his penis. Earlier this week we bought Trojan Magnum condoms due to them being sold out of ...
A. 4 September 2012: Sure why not give them a try? Condoms are pretty inexpensive.
A few tips about protection with condoms, especially when you are concerned about size:
1) Make sure to pinch an inch at the tip. This is even more important than it reaching the... (read in full...)
What options do I have? I love him very much I do not find our love life very satisfying.
Q. My BF prefers oral and anal to intercourse. I prefer intercourse to oral and anal. Despite my repeated requests to have him "cum" inside me during intercourse using a condom it still has not happened. When he does make love to me (which does n...
A. 4 September 2012: Your boyfriend has been watching way way way way too much porn. In real life sex does not end with the man dominating and degrading his partner, that happens in porn. In real life sex doesn't only consist of you pleasuring him, that happens in ... (read in full...)
Guy at a bar leant in for a kiss and got my lips before I could turn away, do I tell my boyfriend about this?
Q. Hi everybody, just a quick question! I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him so much, I went away for a night out with my girls Saturday night and a few men were chatting me up I think I must of said "sorry, I've got a bo...
A. 4 September 2012: Well legally speaking, if someone kisses you without your consent it's sexual assault. Why are you to blame for some jackass touching you against your will?
Sure you can tell your boyfriend, just tell him what you told us here. That some guy kiss... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?
Q. My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...
A. 4 September 2012: "I will be paying mortgage/rates and dont expect him to help with this."
Why not? Unless he's keeping his other apartment/house why should he not have to pay an equal share? Just because it's your house he's moving into doesn't mean he doesn't have... (read in full...)
Do I leave my wife over breast implants?
Q. my wife lies to me she had a breast implants done without my permission i dont like it what will i do. leave her?...
A. 4 September 2012: Permission? Really? Do you ask permission to get a hair cut? Yes it would have been nice for her to talk to you about it, but it's fairly ridiculous to end a marriage because she didn't seek permission to do something to her own body. Women used to ... (read in full...)
Are there guys out there who actually don't like strip clubs?
Q. Are there guys out there who actually DON'T like strip clubs? I live in a mining town and strip clubs are starting to pop up everywhere, and since mining is a very male dominated field, guys go there after work to bond, and blah blah. I've been ...
A. 3 September 2012: Sure there are guys like that out there. My boyfriend's type is not the stripper type. He finds fake big boobs to be a big turn off. Prefers brown hair to blonde and generally doesn't notice other women. He would rather have someone unusual looking ... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I tell this guy I'm dating (I'm not) just so he won't try to ask me out?
Q. Hi! I just started my freshman year of college a week ago. It has been a pretty difficult adjustment for me and I'm just trying to hang in there and hope it sorts itself out. Well, one of the problems I had during my first week was this guy in my Fr...
A. 3 September 2012: You should really nip it in the bud. You can casually drop it into the conversation that you have a boyfriend, but like others said, it might not fully deter him. If you want to, just say something like, "Look I think you're a nice guy, but I'm just ... (read in full...)
I feel like people show me that being a virgin at my age is like being cursed and it's seriously getting on my nerves.
Q. Hey. I'm going to turn 20 in two weeks and I'm still a female virgin. Most of my friends had already sex which make me feel a little bit left out. Besides, some of them are really annoying about it. Generally, people don't know about it and They are ...
A. 3 September 2012: It's nothing to feel bad about it. Among my friends in college a lot of them were virgins for non-religious reasons and they were cute and funny and at least one of them was a guy magnet type. You don't need to feel bad, your friends should leave ... (read in full...)
Does it bother women if men like their scent?
Q. I just would like to know is it really gross and disgussing to women if a guy whom they are in a relationship or friends with bennefits with loves their wetness and scent down there during the women sexual arousal?as well as smelling their panties ...
A. 2 September 2012: So long as it's your boyfriend/partner and not some random guy it's flattering. Pheromones are a great thing...... (read in full...)
LDR newbie needs advice!
Q. Hi everyone! I'm entering my first long distance relationship. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that we'll get through this :) Here's some background info. My boyfriend is going to the East Coast for his last 2 years of college. He's studying...
A. 2 September 2012: My boyfriend and I had to do a year apart (that ends in only a week, yay!) so I have a bit of experience with this. Make no mistake LDRs are very hard and you both have to be willing to put in a lot of work. However, if you two are really committed ... (read in full...)
Should I send a text saying, I miss you so much, I don't want someone else, I want to be with you .
Q. hello i went on a date with a woman 5 weeks ago, she said it was lovley and i was a lovley man xxx . i wanted to give her a kiss at end of date, but did not want to risk it . i told this a few days later and she said she was not interested. but we ...
A. 2 September 2012: No, she's trying to let you down gently but she is just not interested. It's not because you did something wrong, it's just time to move on. Sorry.... (read in full...)
He offered me sex instead of a relationship!
Q. Should I be insulted that a guy Ive liked for a while has asked me to be his FWB or 'fuck buddy'? He says he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be more than friends. Im shocked and dont know what to say! Im 29 and hes 28, Im looking for a ...
A. 2 September 2012: I'd probably be more hurt than insulted. If you are looking for a relationship, be up front about it and tell him. If he only wants sex, move on. Getting into a FWB situation with someone you really want a relationship with is like having someone ... (read in full...)
No to a tubal ligation. But I never want to be pregnant. Terrified of it. What can I do?
Q. I’m a woman aged 28 years old and I’ve very big trouble. I’m dreadfully afraid of pregnancy and it affects my sex life more and more. I’ve a boyfriend, we’re together for two years, but sex has always been a stress for me. I want him and I want s...
A. 2 September 2012: First off it sounds like you have a phobia and should get yourself into counseling. It's affecting your life and you are changing behaviors around it. You really need to speak to someone on how to manage your anxiety and your phobia.
Secon... (read in full...)
We were fooling around but stayed in our underwear, I am worried I could still get pregnant.
Q. My guy and I were hooking up last night in our underwear. He was wearing boxer briefs and I was wearing lace underwear that had a sheet of fabric between the lace. I was worried that since I think he precame and though I didn't remove my underwear ...
A. 1 September 2012: You absolutely cannot be pregnant from this, there is zero chance. Sperm cannot get through fabric, but there weren't even sperm to begin with. Sperm also cannot move across surfaces. It can't jump from your underwear into your vagina or move across ... (read in full...)
I just started college but have no idea what type of job I want. Any suggestions?
Q. i started college last week and i really like it, i just have no idea what kind of job i would want, i want to do something that i would enjoy ,that would make me a lot of money and doesnt require that much school,i like to work with people and i ...
A. 1 September 2012: We can't help you with that. You need to talk to the career counselors at your school and/or talk to your advisor. You should read the book "What Color is my Parachute" too.... (read in full...)
My instructor touched me when I don't think he needed to, what does it mean?
Q. I'm sorry this is terribly wrong, but I need help... every time I meet him at the corridor or out of college, he will raise his eyebrows twice,lowers his eyelids and smile, there, he did it again today. The way he raises his eyebrows are som...
A. 1 September 2012: I really don't think anything else was going on here. I had a lecherous professor once, and I've had a couple friends who did as well. It is not a subtle brush of palm. It's very obvious, they are very up front about it and there is no question that ... (read in full...)
I always do favors for a work collegue but she doesn't appreciate me or do anything in return!
Q. There is a certain work collegue I have done many regular favors for over the years. One specific favor takes me out of my way a bit and she has takes it for granted. Yesterday I was stuck and couldnt get my morning coffee. I saw her coming back ...
A. 1 September 2012: Like you said, she's probably gotten used to the favors. Just stop doing them.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tried a new toy with me but neither of us knows what it is called
Q. Dear cupid, So, I feel kind of awkward and not very smart asking this question, buuut here goes...lol. I had sex with my guy last night, and before we got started, he slipped this little band of rubber around the base of his penis. It was pr...
A. 31 August 2012: Yes it's called a cock ring. They make them with little nubby things, with ridges, with vibrators, and with special lumps that you can sort of rub against.... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: If men are getting off on violence against women they are the ones in the wrong. It is not women who need to change their perspectives on this. Given that globally male violence against women is the single greatest cause of injury to women, women ... (read in full...)
How you heard of a long distance marriage? Do they work out?
Q. Hello! So, I'm going to have to move away for work for three years. My soon to be beloved husband and I have been discussing this and we've figured out we'll be able to meet 10 days a month on average (between his days off and mine), plus three ...
A. 31 August 2012: I know a married couple who were long distance for over a decade before getting back together. It was very hard on them, but they made it without any indiscretions.
Several things:
1. You are going to fight, sometimes very badly. You are going to... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's cheating ex is coming over to stay with her and I'm not cool with it!
Q. Please help?! I met this girl a few months ago on a dating website. Anyway I totally fell for her. I'm in love with her. She totally blew me away. However there has been a few situations. Please let me explain. I have on 3 separate occasions c...
A. 31 August 2012: No you are not overreacting at all. Honestly she does not sound like girlfriend material at all. She is on dating sites and lies about them (what is she doing on the dating sites) and she is inviting over exes to sleep over, which is bad enough on ... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: I wasn't going to respond again, but why would you want to be a man who fantasizes about treating women so violently? How could that possibly be a POSITIVE thing to have your boyfriend fantasizing that he's gagging women and making them cry and ... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 30 August 2012: I have a TON of links/information about this on my profile, head over and take a look. The majority of women are not OK with porn in their relationships.
If you need help talking to him about it, I recommend the book The Porn Trap by Larry an... (read in full...)
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