A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Whats your view on strippers??My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm.I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over-weight and I hate that hes going to be staring at these girls who are going to be getting naked and pressing their bodies against guys bla bla bla.Am I the only one who ideally would rather my bf did not go to see this type of thing?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 "Be interested in how many of the female aunts are here don't plan on going to see that film Magic Mike which is all about male strippers"I'm against objectification, period. A friend of mine claiming to be a feminist was going to in her words "objectify naked men" and I was pretty livid with her for the hypocrisy."I must say I'm very shocked at the amount of posts where women are saying its a no- go for them, yet most women are fine with their men getting their jollies off to porn??"I'm definitely not OK with porn, my boyfriend and I have a NO porn whatsoever policy."because from my pov it's the men being exploited, as they're handing over their hard earned cash to see some bits on a girl."Being on display while men sit there viewing you as a piece of meat is completely exploitive, not to mention that the vast majority of strippers have been sexually assaulted multiple times (unwanted groping/touching and some men will try to shove their fingers in the womens' vaginas) and almost all are routinely propositioned for prostitution. It's not exploitive to the men at all, the men have all the power. They have the money and the women need that money. There is no situation possible where a wealthy group dangling small amounts of money in front of an impoverished group in exchange for favors is exploitative to the people with the money. There's a reason that the majority of strippers have to be drunk or high to get through the night.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): I worked in engineering for 20 years and was the only woman there so I got to know men much better than most women do.
Frankly women would be shocked if they knew what goes on!
I've heard about stag nights dozens of times, some are pretty tame, some a visit to a strip club to say they've been and some are really disgusting. Depends on the stag and his mates and what they can get away with.
We would have the company do and sometimes the subject came up and some wife would say 'I trust my husband in a strip/lap dancing club...... my husband tells me everything..they went to a strip club but didn't tell the bride as shes insecure and would get upset.....' and I'd think but he didn't mention the BJ he got in the brothel after did he, he was busy telling everyone at work about it on the Monday morning!
Remember many men leaving out information is not the same as lying...remember Bill Clinton!
If you dont want him ogling other naked women then thats fine. Many women dont like it either, I wouldn't.
May have to be a stand up fight. Tell him you dont want him to go and why - you both have to decide whats going to happen (unfortunately you cant compromise he goes or he does not go) - either he goes and you are upset or he doesn't go and hes upset. Who is more important to him - you or him? His answer will let you know how you stand in the relationship wont it?
I used to say to the guys 'would you be happy for your sirlfriend/wife/mother/sister/daughter to be a stipper?' most men will say no..kind of hypocritical aren't they? So if he goes off tomorrow - let him know that you are going out clubbing too and intend to give some stranger a slow sexy strip ..see how happy he is about that!
PS in case you are wondering my hubby did not have a stag night nor me a hen night...I told him at the beginning of the relationship it was a deal breaker. If he wanted a woman who would put up with that sort of behavior then he could find someone else to marry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): I find it degrading and exploitive. I would never let my boyfriend go to a strip club/watch porn. If im not enough he can go and find someone who is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): First of all... Strippers are not prostitutes. Get that idea out of your head right now, all of you. Any stripper that would breach that boundary is a sex worker, plain and simple. Not an exotic dancer or whatever word you may wish to use.Second... It's a stag night. This is tradition. Men as far back as strippers have been around have been going to see a nice, sultry lady get with the nakedness as a send off to a man's last vestige of bachelorhood.Third... If you cannot trust him to keep to the rules (you really think he's willing to risk a savage beating by the security boys because he has control issues?) of a strip joint and in that way actually show some respect to those who work there, then what are even doing in a relationship with him? Just because there are naked women using poles rather creatively in their dance routines, it doesn't mean a guy becomes a malleable, blubbering idiot who forgets everything else that makes his life completely awesome. If he does, then he should not be in a committed relationship.Look... whatever your views on strippers are, sit down and talk with him about them... and just remember that this might be one of those situations where you have to trust he will not betray you for some random woman swinging around a pole at a friend's stage night.So long as he doesn't make a habit of visiting these places, I doubt you have anything to worry about.Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): It has to swing both ways. If YOU similarly disapprove of male strippers at hen parties and YOU wouldn't go to one if your boyfriend didn't like it, then feel free to say something. It also comes down to trust. Do you trust your boyfriend not to do anything? He is, after all, with you and not a stripper type girl, so presumably he loves you and finds you attractive.Be interested in how many of the female aunts are here don't plan on going to see that film Magic Mike which is all about male strippers. Almoast every single woman I know under 50 is going to, or has seen it. I don't see any difference - it's a strip show, just at the cinema, and they are paying money to drool at the guy's bodies.
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Absolutely not! I also have a "no stripper policy" with my bf. Giving money to strange, naked, desperate for money women?? NO NO! I don't care if it's a bachelor party, guys night out, ect... If I ever found out that he went? He would be right out the door! Like someone had posted, keep the sex at home. I find it totally disgusting and unacceptable for all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): Lol my boyfriend said I can't go to a hens night for he's sisters,fine with me as I hate that stuff but I asked if he wants to go stag night and he said no in fact he hates that kind of stuff and doesn't even want to talk about it. We dont drink so kind of makes sense why we dont go to these places. But yes I can see why you would be upset,I think stag nights are stupid to be honest. I really don't see the point of them. Also strip clubs so boring and for little boys. Lol
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 July 2012):
 You're in good company.... AND need to assess just why this delightful "man" of your's is content to partake of this sophomoric ritual. If'n I were you, I'd believe that it's proof positive that he doesn't much care WHAT you think.... AND, it's the precursor to lots more of the same behaviour in your marriage... UNTIL you figure out that you've married a guy who doesn't give a darn about your feelings.... and - ultimately - you decide that you're entitled to lots better.... so you dump this one (hubby No 1) and go out and get a REAL hubby.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Uksparkle +, writes (18 July 2012):
I totally understand your concerns, i personally wld not like my bf 2 go 2c this type of thing! An ex bf of mine went on a stag do to a strip club, the stag showered afterwards wiv the strippers n they gave him a hand job, only problem was one of the other blokes filmed it and snd it to the stag for 'keepsake' and his soon 2b wife found it on his phone, the soon 2b wife very quickly became a very very ex soon 2b wife! So b warned things like that do happen! If it was me i wldnt let him go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): You know there are also male strip clubs, so you can go to.
I don't care if my husband goes or not, if it's just few times with his friends for special occasion.
I wouldn't want him tom spend money on them that's for sure.
I went to strip club with guys dancing, I had an impression that they were all gays there, really. Nothing empressive at all. All they do it is getting as much money from you as possible. I m sure your boyfriend if he is a normal person will see it right away and wont frequent strip clubs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): Id be fine with it, I fact I just told my fiancé I'd be fine with it after seeing this, I've been with him for 3 years and have a 1 year old with him. I completely 100% trust him, in this day and age I wouldn't think of it as he advocates exploitation of women, because from my pov it's the men being exploited, as they're handing over their hard earned cash to see some bits on a girl. I don't see anything wrong with appreciating the beauty of someone else as its only natural, just because he's with you doesn't mean every other girl in the world stops being attractive. It is just a bit of harmless fun and is very common nowadays, I must say I'm very shocked at the amount of posts where women are saying its a no- go for them, yet most women are fine with their men getting their jollies off to porn??
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 July 2012):
I have a no strippers policy in my relationship, no exceptions even for bachelor parties. First I have issues with it for feminist reasons. But on top of that, I don't find it acceptable for a man in a relationship to be doing that kind of thing. It's disrespectful to absolutely everyone involved. To the stripper and to the girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 I think you are pretty normal in terms of how women feel about their men seeing strippers. Some women see it as harmless fun, which it generally is, but others have a hard time with it. If this is something he normally doesn't do, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Let him go and have fun. You may want to go to a male version of this sometime. While he is out doing that, plan a night with a close friend to go out to eat, go shopping, or anything you enjoy doing. If your boyfriend frequented these types of places, I would be concerned, but it is just supposed to be a fun night for the guys. Albeit, most of us women think in poor taste, but whatever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): For me strip clubs are a deal breaker. I view it as a form of cheating. I am always upfront with a guy about it before starting a relationship, then he can decide whether or not he can accept it. It saves a lot of headaches later on and he knows if he goes the relationship is done.
Some girls are ok with it, some girls aren't. I guess it comes down to the reason why it makes you uncomfortable and how your bf handles that discomfort. Have you talked to him about it?
Sorry I haven't been able to give you any advice, but I can validate your concerns and reassure you that most women (probably the majority) would prefer if their partners did not go to strip clubs. If it's of any comfort, the majority of the attention of the strippers are going to be towards the groom to be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): dont blame yourself for this & label yourself "insecure." too many times women are called insecure because they dont fancy their men fancying other women. Its objectification & you are well within your rights to ask him not to attend. Youre not a prude, its fine to want to keep your sex at home. Of course no normal woman would want to compete with a "professional sexy girl." explain its disrespectful & you find it questionable that he would want to see other naked women.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 It means your boyfriend has no qualms about exploiting women for sexual satisfaction/entertainment. I would never date a man who'd pay to see a woman naked. Just my opinion, but then, I suppose it's old-fashioned to be concerned about the objectification of half of the world's population by the other half. Hold on and you'll soon see many agony uncles (and aunts) justifying everything from porn, to strippers, to lap-dancing etc. They'll make you feel like a freak of some sort for objecting to your boyfriend's activities.
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