A
female
age
26-29,
*opeless.romantic
writes:I recently met this guy, and he's really great; he's good looking, caring, sweet to me and everything I could ask for. The only problem is, he lives 15 hours away, and the only way we can talk is through texting and skype. He said he's really falling for me, and that maybe next summer he'll come to visit me and we can date officially. I really like this guy a lot, but I don't know if it's worth waiting for him, or if I should just go looking for another guy. Everyone says that long-distance dating is hard... but is it worth it to give it a try?
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female
reader, hopeless.romantic +, writes (23 July 2012):
hopeless.romantic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone who answered, and i've decided I probably won't tie myself down to this guy. Maybe we'll keep in touch for the rest of the summer, but after that I think i'll go out and meet someone else, because you all have a point: at my age 15 hours just isn't very possible to overcome
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (22 July 2012):
I tried it at your age and it wasn't for me. A relationship that consists of texting and skyping is not a real relationship. Most of it is happening in your head and after a while the picture you got in your mind versus reality can become quite skewed. Plus, think about this: you see everyone in person and more often than your boyfriend, even the people you don't like. You can maintain a light friendship, but a real relationship?
Doesn't work unless you guys get to see each in person at least every few weeks and even then it's still hard. Trust me. The relationship is not worth waiting for because you cannot truly count on it. Plus, why invest in someone who is mostly a digital image while you can meet a great guy that you can actually do stuff with and meet up with on a regular basis?
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (22 July 2012):
 Did you meet online, or is this someone you already knew who has now moved away? The other aunts and uncles have covered issues with age/distance here, but there are additional issue if you have never met and only communicate online.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): Long distance love is always harder than a "regular" relationship. The younger you are, the harder it is. Especially at your age, it will be very difficult. Even if you can both drive, can you really drive 15 hours to see one another and will your parents approve? Just how often would you be willing to do that? When you're older and have a job, it would be easier because you have money to see him often whether it's buying a plane ticket or gas money. At your age it's just not worth it. Not only will it be difficult to see one another, trying to keep in touch through phone and Skype is too time consuming. You will miss out on a lot of fun that teenagers are supposed to enjoy with their friends and at school. And think about this: You call him or text him and he doesn't reply until a few hours later or the next day. How would you feel? Very few girls your age would be okay with that. What if he were with someone else? As a 20-something year old I will tell you that it's much comforting to have someone close to you. Someone you can see in person when you're feeling sad or when you have happy news to share. Someone who goes to your school who you can experience homecoming games and winter formal with. Plus things are much more fun in a big group of friends!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 July 2012):
 I don't think at your age it's worth it. Not only are you young and quite far from each other, but you aren't even dating yet. If you two are still single next summer, then give it a shot. But you're young, you shouldn't be tied down by something so tolling as a long distance relationship. They are very hard and stressful even when they go relatively well.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 July 2012):
 Honest answer here as a woman who just finished up a year long LDR (2 hour drive apart)...
at your age (young)
with the distance (long)
and the chance of not seeing each other for at least a year..
I vote for not being anything more than friends.
the younger you are, and the farther apart you are the less chance I see of it working...
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (22 July 2012):
That depends very much on what you want. If you want some-one you’ll be able to see on a regular basis, it’s not going to work out. But if you are able to accept that you can’t see him so often, and you feel that you still like him and would want to give it a go, it’s definitely worth trying. ?You’d be mistaken for believing that long-distance relationships are doomed to fail, the way that some people criticise them. That’s just not the case though: there would be no guarantees that you’d be together 6 months down the line if you lived 5 minutes walk away from each other. So really you are your own best judge. You mention Skype: clearly distance isn’t as important as it used to be, you can still be in regular contact with each other despite the distance.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): The question is whether you see anything coming out of the relationship. Yes, long-distance relationships are difficult, but people make them work every day. However, it is important that each of you understand the expectations of the other when going into this (i.e., whether it is an exclusive relationship or not).
As an example, I will tell you what I did during my long-distance relationship. I started dating the girl my senior year in high school and we both went off to college after that. She stayed at a college near our hometown and I went to a college 3-4 hours away. We talked over the phone every single day--sometimes 2-3 hours. Of course, there were times, mostly on weekends, where that was shortened. We also wrote letters to each other on a weekly basis--not text messages, not emails, actual handwritten letters sent via the US postal service. We watched the same shows during the week to give us something extra to talk about. Also, and most importantly, we tried to see each other on a regular basis. Since we were only about 4 hours apart, we really tried to see each other at least once a month. Of course, we also saw each other around holidays, as our families were from the same town. When visiting, however, we made sure to alternate who went where. Also, we tried to divide the costs as evenly as possible. Anyways, this went on throughout college. After college, she got a job as a teacher about 1.5 hours from where I went to college. I stayed where I was and went on to graduate school for another 3 years. During my last year of graduate school she moved even closer--about a half hour away. Just this past summer, after finishing school, we got married and she is now my wife.
Thus, as you see, long-distance relationships do work. However, it takes commitment, patience, and loyalty. Neither of you can be selfish in your desires and it must be something that both of you really want. Your long-distance relationship could be a little harder, as you are 15 hours away from each other, which makes a weekend trip a little harder. But nonetheless, I am sure you can make it work if you want to. If you want to, and he wants to, then I would say it is "worth it." Good luck.
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