| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 1 October 2012: "Me again. Sorry, "person', but I have to strongly disagree - there totally are two types of orgasm - clitoral and vaginal - and I didn't read Freud to stumble upon that truth - it was purely something I noticed myself. If you think all orgasms are ... (read in full...)
Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 28 September 2012: Also worth mentioning is that only a quarter of women are ever able to have this kind of orgasm. This is not how the VAST majority of women orgasm and it certainly isn't a better way to do so.... (read in full...)
Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 28 September 2012: I do understand what you are saying, and why it hurts. BUT there is no reason for you to feel bad.
Women care a lot less about penises than men do when it comes to an orgasm. Freud's really silly idea about the idea that a vaginal orgasm is bette... (read in full...)
What can I do to remember important things?
Q. I am nineteen. I always forget important things from my family, friends, college and I hurt some people by forgetting about something I said I would do for them or similar. I am not trying to forget things or ignore people; it just happens but then ...
A. 27 September 2012: Try putting alarms on your phone.... (read in full...)
He lied to me about watching porn and now I feel I am losing my love for him
Q. I've been married since April to a man that I have been dating since I was 16. We have a long long history and a lot of ups and downs in that time. In the past he has hidden things from me and lied to my face about lots of things: seeing h...
A. 27 September 2012: OP I have many links about this on my profile. I think you would benefit from looking through them. If you are interested there is also a good book called The Porn Trap (I recommend this a lot, though to clarify I am not affiliated with it in any ... (read in full...)
Should I call her? And how can I approach this in a classy way so I don't make her think this is a booty call?
Q. This might seem a little sad/juvenile, but there's this girl that I've had on my mind A LOT lately. We dated for about two-months right at the start of the year, although we were hardly "serious" together. We mostly hung out, watched movies a...
A. 27 September 2012: Ask her on a date, someplace public, so she knows it's a date, not a chance to get into her pants. If she says yes and you take her on a date, end with a kiss not with sex. Good luck.... (read in full...)
The wedding is planned, I have even ordered my dress but I'm becoming more and more insecure in my relationship because of my boyfriend's actions
Q. Hi everyone, I really need some advice. I am 30 and engaged. We are supposed to be getting married mid next year. My fiancée and I have been together for nine years. However for the past year I have been feeling less and less secure in the relation...
A. 27 September 2012: So sorry, but I don't see any other possible explanation. He is definitely cheating. I think the proposal was an attempt to cover his tracks more than a commitment (you said it yourself, that his proposal is the reason you are questioning whether he ... (read in full...)
I'm breaking up with my boyfriend because I found him on dating websites
Q. hi, not going to be a long question but, i found out my boyfriend of nearly a year has been going on dating websites. He knows i know now and i told him im leaving him, but hes begging me not to saying he loves me and all that waffle, honestly im ...
A. 27 September 2012: Your boyfriend was clearly on a dating website and has panicked when found out. You're doing the right thing breaking up, be strong. Don't let him wear you down.... (read in full...)
Is it odd that I can only contact my BF via facebook?
Q. Is it strange that the only way i can contact/speak to my boyfriend in the evenings is via facebook? We've been together for 4 years. I dont think he is cheating but i dont understand it. When he gets home from work, he puts his phone away and d...
A. 26 September 2012: I think this is definitely cause for concern. I don't really understand how you can be in a relationship with someone for four years and be completely out of contact all week? I agree with the others, I would be suspicious if I was you.... (read in full...)
Why do I still feel embarrassed about queefing?
Q. Recently, while having intercourse, I queefed. I felt really embarrassed even though I know it's normal for that to happen. Yet my partner didn't seem to know and he actually asked if I farted. I explained to him it was a queef and he said he ...
A. 26 September 2012: I usually laugh, joke about it, and then move on. This isn't like a fart where you can kind of hold it, it just happens and there's really nothing you can do about it unfortunately. I'm sure your boyfriend knows it's just one of those things that ... (read in full...)
Really heavy menstrual bleeding. Is this normal for my age?
Q. I'm fourteen, and I've had my period since I was 11. It's been on and off which I know is normal, but it's recently settled down, and this month I've had a really long, heavy period. It started on the 11th and hasn't stopped since. It started off ...
A. 26 September 2012: You need to see a doctor, what's happening isn't normal. It's probably nothing serious, but no matter what you need to see them just to get everything sorted.... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 26 September 2012: "I don't COMPLETELY disagree with abortions, I agree with it when there is an actual good reason, like if you were raped, for medical reasons or if you DID use contraception and it was a complete mistake. But I just can't fucking stand women who ... (read in full...)
Anal sex makes me feel like I'm being ripped in half!
Q. Hey everyone i have a question, my husband and i decided that we want to try anal, we use a lott of lub and go nice and slow but i cant stand the pain it just makes me want to scream. It feels like im being ripped in half, hes being patient with me ...
A. 25 September 2012: "is there any other suggestions?"
Yes don't do it!
If it hurts why the heck would you keep doing it?! The VAST majority of women hate anal sex, you're not doing something wrong here. Just say no! It's gross he would even be able to stay hard le... (read in full...)
Do guys have to feel emotional about every girl they hook up with or is it normal to not feel anything once in a while
Q. So I met a girl at a party the other day and hung out 2 days later. I think she is cute but I do not feel any emotions at all for her. We made out for maybe over an hour, but I do not feel attached to her. I did not even get an erection. I am c...
A. 25 September 2012: Not everyone has chemistry. I've only felt fireworks with two guys I've been with, and I've at least kissed WAY more than that. Good chemistry is rare and it sounds like you didn't feel it with her. It doesn't mean you're gay. Like Bondgirl says, ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend changed his relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'. Is he cheating?
Q. I'm in long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We both are sixteen years old. We met on facebook 2 months ago and he asked me for relationship after 1 month. I love him alot. Everything was going perfect ...
A. 25 September 2012: That sounds like a cowardly way to dump someone, but I don't really see any way of reading it other than he wants to break up. Sorry.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have 2 inches of extra condom length at the penis tip? Am I using the condom correctly?
Q. Hello friends, This a question about proper condom usage. I am an uncircumsized guy and I am not sure if I am using a condom properly. I follow all the general steps in putting on a condom and then use a fleshlight to masturbate (http:/...
A. 22 September 2012: The fleshlight is probably pulling on it, it's a lot tighter than an actual vagina is.... (read in full...)
Why is it that only penetrative sex does it for me?
Q. So this is a sex question, I was wondering if anyone could help me understand why I can't orgasm from anything other than vaginal sex and very rarely clitoral stimulation with fingers. Basically I've been with my partner for 3 years and we've ...
A. 22 September 2012: Nothing is wrong with you at all. Different people have different turn ons. I'm similar to you, I can only orgasm from penetration or from vibrators, but not oral sex or fingers. I think for me it's the mental aspect of the sex that makes it feel ... (read in full...)
Why does my married ex give me his schedule and tells me to call him?
Q. My ex who now is married, talks to me often. My question is why does he not call me but says it's alright to call him??? He gives me his schedule so i know when to call. Why doesn't he just call me?? i have a bf and it's just nice to talk to an old ...
A. 22 September 2012: Something sneaky is going on. I suspect he wants to have a fallback when his wife finds out and gets upset, so he can say "she called me!" It seems like playing with fire here and I'd question whether talking to an old friend is worth this.... (read in full...)
Trying to find the root of my fat fetish and get rid of it.
Q. Ive been having this fat fetish since I was 11. I fantasize people getting fatter or myself getting morbidly obese,Having a feeder or me being my own feeder,letting myself go,fat humilation. Id be afraid to do it in real life because of medical ...
A. 22 September 2012: You need to talk to a psychiatrist if you want to try to get rid of it.
However, the first step is to stop feeling so disgusted with yourself. It's not as though you are the only person with this fetish, or who would create all those websites... (read in full...)
Is his recent interest in seeing me with another woman a sign he's losing interest?
Q. My husband and I have been together over a year and have a great sex life. He used to be very against porn and the idea of girl on girl or threesomes. Now he looks at porn every day (even after we just had sex) and brings up wanting to see me with ...
A. 21 September 2012: Not bored, sounds like he's getting more into porn and it's affecting his ideas about what a normal sex life should be. Maybe ask him to cut back a bit to see if it helps.... (read in full...)
I'm very insecure about my size
Q. Hi everyone. I feel very insecure now that I bought a girdle for football. I am a 19 year old male that is teenager cup size that is small. I feel very insecure about that. Am I under developed? My size is 4 inch erect and 2.5 soft. ...
A. 21 September 2012: I'm not sure if you're concerned about other guys seeing you or your sex life.
If it's other guys seeing you, how big you are when you're soft means absolutely nothing. The average length when soft is about 3" and the average when hard is about... (read in full...)
With so many men who claim to need porn should I even bother with a relationship?
Q. I don't even really know how to begin this but, here we go, I am confused about relationships. Mainly about if I am good enough. Everyone always says guys like to look, many of them watch porn, have nude magazines, some like strip clubs. I know ...
A. 21 September 2012: You're not in a relationship just to look at your partner! There is so much more to it than that. I can find Brad Pitt hot, but he is not attractive to me in the same way that my long term partner is. Brad Pitt is one dimensional to me, I don't know ... (read in full...)
Should I transfer to another college to be closer to my boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and I'm in my freshman year of college. Some background information: Before I moved here I basically lived with my boyfriend over the summer, and before that we did everything together and are ...
A. 21 September 2012: I think you should wait until you can live off-campus and have your boyfriend try to transfer instead. If you are at the better school, don't give that up. My brother went to one of the best schools in the country and then transferred to a state ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is having white discharge 2 days after I fingered her.
Q. Alright so.. about 2 days, 16th September ago me and my girlfriend started to get a lil horny and after awhile i started fingering her, i think i could have precum on my fingers but i wiped it off and fingered her a few minutes after that. 18th S...
A. 18 September 2012: It's just not possible. Precum only contains sperm if you'd ejaculated recently. Seeing as you were fully clothed, I'm not sure how it would even get on your fingers. Further, sperm die as soon as they become dry. If you dried off your hands and ... (read in full...)
Proposal to share FB passwords to deal with Trust issues - too far?
Q. reached the point in our relationship where trust issues are flaring, now both trying to resolve the issues. We have come to the conclusion to share fb passwords, (have not done so yet) told her id seek help first before we do this. Just wondering ...
A. 18 September 2012: I don't think this is a good idea. Like Karlos said, you almost certainly will become obsessed with checking. Once you start looking through emails and messages, it's very hard to stop. Not only that, but everything either of you does will be put ... (read in full...)
How can I be more assertive without coming across as an ass?
Q. So me and my girlfriend were just chilling in my room the other day when I randomly just told her to sit down on the bed, and suddenly she is talking about how she liked it and wants me to be more dominant/ controlling in the relationship. I was ...
A. 18 September 2012: There is no line for women where we want it. Some women find it a turn on, others don't. You just need to ask her what she wants. Especially with sex, you need to ask what she wants from that and not assume anything.
If you want to try it, don'... (read in full...)
I cant stay over with the guy I'm seeing because I'm scared of him seeing me without make up! Help!
Q. so i've been seeing this guy and I can't stay the night with him because i'm worried about the morning after. I'm not naturally pretty, he always goes on about how beautiful and gorgeous I am... which just makes me insecure about wearing no to ...
A. 17 September 2012: He probably doesn't want you to see him with dragon breath, stubble, and messy greasy hair. But he will let you because it's part of intimacy. Makeup may look better from far away, but when you're very close to someone in the morning light, makeup ... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 17 September 2012: "why would she want her brother to think she's a heartless bitch."
I doubt he does, just like most people don't think women who have abortions just because they aren't ready to have children yet are. You're the one who thinks that, not us, and like... (read in full...)
I got along great with my boyfriend's sister, until I found out she has gotten an abortion and doesn't seem to care about it.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. In that time of course, I've got to know his family and the person I've always got on with the most is his sister. Most of my boyfriend's family are quite rough (swear a lot, drink etc) but his ...
A. 15 September 2012: No you're not right to judge her. Abortions don't just exist for women in extenuating circumstances, having full reproductive control of our own bodies means we choose when and how we become mothers. Just having a steady job doesn't mean someone is ... (read in full...)
Does going down on a woman frequently make her more likely to cheat?
Q. I want to ask a question please which I'd like the most honest answers to. There's a couple, male and female, and in this relationship the man is willing to go down on a woman all the time without question while making love and without being as...
A. 15 September 2012: There's this couple I know, and the woman is always willing to have sex with the guy. Doesn't that mean he's more likely to cheat? Doesn't that make her look weak??
Very few women get off from sex. The vast majority of women get off from oral. Wh... (read in full...)
Is my self medical abortion unsuccessful?
Q. Dear cupids, Help!!!. I recently had a strip test and found a slight second red line. By my calculation, I was 32 days pregnant. So I used the misoprostol alone procedure to terminate it for I have been taught on how to take the medicine in a two ...
A. 14 September 2012: When I looked on the International Women's Health Coalition website they say that heavy bleeding and cramping shouldn't last more than 1-2 days. Misoprostol is used in countries with restrictive abortion laws to help women who need abortions. The UK ... (read in full...)
Need some suggestions on toys/lube. Help!
Q. What is the best brand of silicone based lube to buy? Opinions? Also what is the best/most reputable brand of vibrators or toys to buy and what should i look for when buying one? I have a hard time acheiving orgasm and have never rly bought good ...
A. 13 September 2012: I don't know about lube, I usually buy the cheap stuff. Look an Amazon.com or Drugstore.com to read reviews. I've rarely been steered wrong by those. You can also go to various lube websites and if you email them they will almost always send you a ... (read in full...)
Debate: Can a guy and girl really be just friends? All responses welcome guys and girls!
Q. Simple question. Its something I've pondered for a while now. Can a guy and girl really be just friends? So many times you hear about friends getting together after a long time. I have a particular guy friend, who in my mind I'm just friends ...
A. 12 September 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/preferably-guys-opinions--friendship-between-guys-and.html... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was touching himself during foreplay. Does this mean he wasn't turned on by me?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I am in a new relationship with a guy. I am not very sexually experienced, so was nervous when we slept together for the first time. During our second time together in bed, we had lots of foreplay as I told him I did not...
A. 11 September 2012: If the foreplay wasn't directly physically stimulating his penis, I don't know too many guys who wouldn't need that after that long! It's nothing to worry about at all. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 11 September 2012: This is the entitlement frequently referred to as "friendzoning," a situation where a guy likes a girl, puts friendship in as an "investment" and then expects sex/a relationship in return and gets upset when it doesn't work like that. You didn't do ... (read in full...)
Is a declining sex life inevitable in marriage?
Q. Is it true that marriage is a sure way to kill the sexual chemistry of a couple? Obviously I am concerned. This is my second marriage, the first when I was 19 and within 3 years did not feel sexually attracted to my spouse. I struggled for the next ...
A. 11 September 2012: I've only been with my partner for 3.5 years, but it's long enough to be out of the honeymoon phase and long enough that we have routines and such. We still have sex daily or almost daily and there are many layers to why. Natural chemistry can only ... (read in full...)
Why can my boyfriend only go about 2" inside of me?
Q. My boyfriend and I had sex the second time last week. We have done it before but he has never penetrated my vagina. Well last week we tried it for the first time. First time he went in about 2 inches but it hurt me really badly like there was ...
A. 11 September 2012: The first thing to try is what you said. You're probably really nervous and clenching up. It's most likely he's bumping into a wall of clenched muscle. You need to first try relaxing AND most importantly making sure you are turned on. When starting ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that his girlfriend cheated on him?
Q. Hi.. I recently found out that my friends girlfriend cheated on him with one of our mutual friends about 6 months a go. My friend told me about a month a go that he had slept with her. Apparently it happended once when they were drunk, after a bad ...
A. 11 September 2012: You have two options. One is to remain quiet and mind your business.
The other is to tell the girlfriend that she has one week to tell him herself or you will.
Though I would say stay out of it.... (read in full...)
Help me overcome my fear of performing fellatio
Q. I have not given a blow job, I believe I have a fear of giving them. I need help getting over this fear so I can have a good sexual relationship. Please give me any tips or advice to get over this....
A. 10 September 2012: Yes, find a guy who respects that you are scared to do it and doesn't try to pressure you into it.... (read in full...)
A question for the men: why are images of other women always better to masturbate to?
Q. Hi all, Just some questions out of curiosity and partly from experience, why are men so different from women when it comes to getting off on something? Porn is a deal breaker in a relationship for me and my boyfriend knows and respects this,...
A. 10 September 2012: Does respect really play a part in what material men use?
Only if they are fantasizing about degrading the woman they are fantasizing about. My boyfriend felt it was violating my autonomy to fantasize about me, so at one point he formally asked my p... (read in full...)
How do you all feel about "the other woman" when it comes to a relationship or marriage?
Q. How do you all (ladies AND gentlemen) feel about "the other woman" when it comes to a relationship or marriage. SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY. I'm not talking about "the other woman" who has no idea that the guy has a wife/girlfriend. I'm talking about...
A. 9 September 2012: I think it's an ego boost thing for many women who do this. They know this man is so in love with and attracted to this woman that he's made a lifelong commitment, so they want to "prove" to themselves that they're just such hot stuff (I'd use a ... (read in full...)
First time dildo users. How do I get over the fear of using one?
Q. I have been married for bout three years we like to try new things in bed. The topic of him using a dildo on me kind of scares me. I do not understand why i have given birth but can not for the life of explain y. How do i get over the fear of ...
A. 9 September 2012: "How did he get over his fear of you using the dildo on him?" Priceless.
I would say if you really want to try, you should play with it alone first to get used to it. If you want to do it together, use it on yourself while you're together... (read in full...)
He lasts for so long, and likes it so hard that I feel sore after sex. Any advice?
Q. hey, this may sound like a strange problem, as it's something many women wish their man could do. my boyfriend lasts too long in bed if you know what i mean.. if we want to have sex then we have to make sure we have atleast an hour and 1/2 fre...
A. 8 September 2012: "you hear about some guys coming after a 10-20 mins"
The average is five minutes. If it's taking him forever and a day to finish he should try abstaining from masturbating for a bit to see if that helps (it's the most common reason). The grip of ... (read in full...)
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