A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I know this sounds like a wonderful problem to have, but it isn't. My girlfriend's vagina is a bit tight, but the bigger problem is that it is too shallow to accommodate me. I have a very average-sized penis in every way, so I know it is not me. She's 42 years old, so she's hardly a virgin, but she has not been that sexually active for much of her life because sex hurts her so often. It doesn't hurt her every single time, but it hurts her often enough that she is constantly dreading that it "might" and that just makes the experience worse for us both.I know that I am able to hit her cervix if I thrust all the way in, so for us sex has devolved to me sliding but halfway in to her after a lot of fits and starts and her asking me to stop at frequent intervals (which I do). She says it doesn't feel good to her and it is not satisfying to me either. Very often I just pull out and masturbate, which is what she's indicated other boyfriends did as well.What I am wondering is whether this is physical or psychological and if there are any other positions or techniques that may allow me to penetrate her more fully without hurting her. No gyno has ever told her she has a physical problem and she's too embarrassed to say anything. We've tried anal sex and she just doesn't care for that (although I was able to penetrate her fully). We've tried using lots of lube and that doesn't really help. It just creates a mess and eliminates all sensation for both of us. Using just a little lube is not a compromise as she will often end up in pain.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 July 2012):
 I'm seconding her checking out whether she has vaginismus. That's where here vaginal muscles contract/spasm painfully if she tries to insert certain things. Since the only real symptom in pain, her gyno wouldn't know about it if she didn't say anything, so she needs to say something! It is treatable if she has patience.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (24 July 2012):
Check out other threads on this topic. If it works ok sometimes then doesn't sound like a physical issue. But at different times of the month she will feel different and the first bit of discomfort may trigger a psychological reaction that will cause her to be stressed and far from relaxed enougj to let you in.
Two things I can suggest. First get her to the point of orgasming and let her jump on you if she wants. And second, with lots of lube the spoon has to be the most relexed position. Practice on getting the angle just right and then let her do all the moving...
Good luck, and keep trying.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): I actually posted a similar question yesterday. I did a lot of research on the answers i recieved and discovered i most likely have a mild case of vaginismus. Im in my early 20s and have had children naturally and it still hurts to have sex and at best it doesnt hurt but is uncomfortable. Im able to have sex but its hard to get pleasure through it. Your gf sounds like she could have a more painful version. Look it up. Vaginismus. There is treatment, its a bit intracate though. My fiancee agreed to help me through it. So hopefully you can work through it too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): I ve been told before that I m very tight there. One guy who was my one night stand(15 years younger) kept on repeating thatch can't believe how tight I'm , I bet he thought for my age. I m in my early 40 s also. Sex does hurt me sometimes, and tell you the truth guys with large penises always had problems with me in this area. I really do prefer average size. But ...once upon a time, it was about 10 years ago I ve met a guy who gave me the best sex of my life. I couldn't be with him, because he drank like a fish, but sex was oohh, ...old memories came back...He had enormous size penis, like 10" . When I first look at it, I said immediately, o no, and I started to explain to him, that I m kind of small down there and I m often hurting with much smaller penises, so I don't think it's such a good idea even to start.He reassured me that he ll be very gentle and the moment I start to hurt he d stop. He spent so much time there with his tong, that I finished several times before intercourse started. I felt no pain whatsoever. I Wanted him to go deeper, I didn't mind at all. He kept asking me if I'm all right. It was wonderful. It lasted 2 months, we had sex probably over 100 times, and non of those times I was hurting. I never met anyone with size like that after and someone with so much skills to turn me on that I felt absolutely no discomfort. We never had anal sex, as I absolutely hate it. I m not saying that you are unskilled, not at all, but with women like your girlfriend that has a smaller vagina may be more time needs to be spend for foreplay. And by more I mean like an hour. It may sound like a lot, but my guy took his time definitely, and I loved it.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (24 July 2012):
 And having legs crossed* not legs drugged. Haha.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): I have a similar problem with my fiance. If we take things slow in the beginning, i am able to concentrate on relaxing and he is able to fully penetrate me if i am on top.
His penis curves upward which makes doggy style and other positions where he is behind me painful because he ends up hitting and bruising my intestines through my vagina.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (24 July 2012):
Instead* not Inside in the 1st suggestion. Sorry about that!
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (24 July 2012):
Here's a few things that come to mind:
1. Try girl-on-top position. Inside of just sitting on top of you with her knees on the bed, she should prop herself up by her feet and have her knees bent- does that make sense? She will have full control of sliding in and out to meet her comfort level.
2. Try again that has her crossing her legs and ankles. Do the spoon position, where you guys are spooning laying on a side, with her legs crossed. Having legs drugs creates resistance, which will make it difficult for you to slide all the way up her canal so easily. Another position would be her laying on her stomach with her legs crossed- just like a laying down doggie style position.
3. Some of this might be mental as well. She is so mentally scared that it is going to hurt that it probably just hurts. She needs to relax. Maybe she should have a few drinks to "loosen" up.
4. Take it really slow and assure her.
5. Get her really horny and rowdy. There are times where it does hurt when the cervix is being hit however when you are in a really rowdy and animalistic mood- you can't even tell.
Hope this helps.
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