A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've noticed that some guys sabotage their own luck with women, and may not know it. What they do to woo a woman, can sometimes end up friendzoning him instead.Outside physical attraction (which may be outside your control), what things can a guy do to stay out your friendzone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (26 July 2012):
 hi
The men in my friendzone are the ones I am not attracted to or vica verca.
If a man wants to date me he has to ask, to be a man, to be confident enough to make that move and take the knockbacks.Flirtings a good start.To be able to pick up on it and to flirt yourself. These men have always been new to me,ones not in my circle.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 If you want to be FRIENDS with a girl the by all means be a friend, but don't expect her to later on to see you as anything else.
At least that is how it's always been for me. I have always had more male friends then female, I just get along with them better.
I have never dated a male friend. And many of them are quite attractive. But we are friends and for all intend and purposes that is how it's stayed. Some of them I have know for a good 20-25 years.
I think becoming friends with someone because you are romantically interested is a BIG mistake. I'm not saying that people who date can't be great friends on top of being a couple, but I guess I find it a little underhanded when someone claim they want friendship only so they can gt closer to you.
So if you want to date a girl, get to know her. TAKE he out on dates and get to know her. Don't pretend to want to be her friend. Because, if you do, she will treat you like a FRIEND.
I don't think it has to do with vilifying anyone. People just need to figure out where they stand, and stop pretending.
MY friends are some of the most important people in my life, because I know I can trust them 100%.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (26 July 2012):
I agree w Cerberus. Back in my teens when I was a "nice guy," I was constantly in the "friend zone." Its a nice way for saying "Im not attracted to you." When I got into my late teens and 20s and became much more self-confident and even arrogart if you will, this phenomenon did a 180. Girls didnt want me for "friends," they wanted to sleep with me.
In short, the key for staying out of the friend zone w a woman is to be a man - confident, aggressive, assertive. Woman dont want male friends like that, they want male sex partners like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): Actually I think the "friendzone" is more to do with vilifying men who are too weak and meek to make proper moves on a woman they're interested in romantically and become her friend instead.
"Outside physical attraction (which may be outside your control), what things can a guy do to stay out your friendzone?"
Don't befriend girls you want to be with OP, how hard is that? You start out asking her out and dating and don't befriend her and if she's not interested you walk away because she's not going to change her mind.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 July 2012):
 Ah the "friendzone." The friendzone is a term made up to vilify women who turn men down for sex after that man has made an emotional investment in her. It's essentially a term of entitlement that guys deserve sex if they put in some effort with a woman. It's very manipulative. I.e. I wouldn't have been nice to you for so long if I'd known you were going to turn me down.
Like what Chigirl said, basically she's interested in you or she isn't. If you like her from the start, don't pretend that you don't. There's nothing you can do or not do to force or manipulate someone into liking you, just be yourself and hope for the best.
http://sword-meets-rose.tumblr.com/post/15006762171/dear-nice-guys-who-end-up-in-the-friend-zone
http://angels-and-angles.tumblr.com/post/16450786609/why-the-friendzone-is-bullshit-and-self-proclaimed
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 I'm not sure what you mean, because in my experience the "friendzone" thing is just BS. Like it's been argued so many times: men and women don't stay just friends when there's a sexual attraction for one or the other. Girls are more likely to think friendships are possible, sure. And naive boys and girls will probably think they can stay friends as well. But, in general, when meeting someone new of the opposite gender few people are thinking "could he be a good friend". More people are thinking "could I be in a relationship with this person".
When women determine that we don't want a relationship, we say "lets be friends". We don't mean it. We don't want to be your friend, we probably have enough friends as it is. Same thing with guys, they tend to have enough friends as it is, so it is rare that they will befriend someone with friendship being the goal.
So your question isn't about how to avoid being in the "friend zone". The question is more general, "How to make a woman see me as boyfriend material".
And, like so many have said before me: flirting is the key. Flirt. Show your interest. Compliment her. Show her attention. Make her laugh. Make sure you portray yourself in a good light, mentioning things that a woman in pursuit of a boyfriend would like to know. Such information can be slipped into conversation easily: mention your interests, your passions in life, your goals, if you live on your own etc. But do it smoothly, you want to hide this as a random conversation with a new person, when it instead is a qualification interview to determine if she is someone you want to be with.
If you have talked to her and she has revealed information that makes you want to pursue things with her (figure out if she's single, what her main interests are, if she's got a sense of humour etc.), then take things to the next step. Active conversation, or engage in some activity together to further get to know her. Then when you have an opportunity, separate her from the group of others so that you and her can talk in private and be alone. But do NOT push for this too soon.
It's simple really, either a girl sees you as boyfriend material or she doesn't. If she doesn't then she calls you "friend".
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
 I agree that flirting is a must. Or, let her catch you looking at her body instead of her eyes. Touching is good too, but don't be too obvious. Brush up against her or lightly touch her hand or something.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 I think sometimes it is just best to be open and honest with someone. If you like someone then flirt with them, show them you are interested. If you do not show someone you are interested in them from the start you will fall in to the friend zone.
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