A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i have a problem! i lost my virginty two years ago! i've never had one good experience with sex! im always horny and want to have sex but its always unfulfilling i've tried different things and the only thing thats worked me for is playing with my self. for a little while i would use a vibrator on my clit and it felt great but when i have sex with my boyfriend it doesn't. we've tired oral that feels good and then when he fingers me it doesn't when he penetrates me it still hurts and then it doesn't feel good we've tried a lot of different positions and nothing works! i don't get one ounce of feeling good! it hurts sometimes feels uncomfortable or most of the time just no pleasure at all! i've never had an orgasm with my partner even with oral he eats me out for a long time but it never gets intense he does different things but nothing we do works for me. and the other day i felt bad because my boyfriend was kind of beating himself up because he cant get me off! he got quite on me :( his exact words: "i dont feel like i do a good job!" i felt so horrible when he said that to me. why isnt sex pleasurable for me? some one please help is it me am i broken? am i not doing it right what can i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): person12345 is 100% correct OP, you need to better educate yourself on how women's bodies and specifically your own body works.
Do some research online about the subject OP and experiment alone. Get to know your body first and get to know some techniques without a vibrator that work. Once you know what works and does not then just show him how to.
Most women will never orgasm through penetration and you'd be surprized how high the number of women who have never orgasmed or figured out how in other ways either. They really need to teach girls these things in school. So many women feel inadequate because they can't live up to the hollywood lovemaking stereotype.
Get educated OP and understand that this isn't a matter of performance it's a matter of biology and genetics.
Practice on yourself, look up some techniques online and when you figure those things out, show him. It's that simple, but also once you've checked all these things out for yourself you'll be able to explain to him that it's nothing to do with his performance.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 July 2012):
 You sound normal. Vaginas are not inside-out penises, they have VERY few nerve endings. This should be kind of a duh, if you poke the inside of your vagina, do you feel much besides pressure? How about if you poke your clitoris?
Only around a quarter of women can orgasm from penetration and even then, it's still a result of clitoral stimulation, just more indirect. Meaning that the vast majority of women cannot orgasm from penetration. There is nothing wrong with you for not having one from that, not even a little.
If your fingers feel good, use them! Do positions where you can rub yourself, like girl on top or doggie or spooning. If you enjoy your vibrator, hand it to your boyfriend and let him use it on you!
There is nothing wrong with you at all. You've simply discovered what pretty much all women discover, which is that you need clitoral stimulation to get off. Basically expecting stimulating your vagina to give you an orgasm is like asking your boyfriend to get off only touching his scrotum. So stop beating yourself up over this, the only thing "wrong" with you is that you have very normal female anatomy!
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (24 July 2012):
 Maybe you should see a doctor about this, maybe it's a psychological thing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): Well the thing is, sex takes practice. You know what feels good for you and he knows what feels good for him. Now its about communication and finding what works, probably for you first, then him, since i think once you get into it he will enjoy it more. Try lubricant. Practice fingering yourself first, find out what feels good, then try showing and telling him what you like when he fingers you. Have him put lube on his fingers if you need it. Most women cant cum from just penetration so when you do have sex if you are on top have him use the vibrator on your clit while u are on top of him, try rubbing yourself during doggy or missionary, just see what works. Its kind of like trial and error. Good luck.
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