A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 24 year old female and virgin. I have an extremely high sex drive. Yet, I am a virgin and I havent even had my first kiss. Yeah, I have masturbated, but that hasnt helped and I dont want to continue masturbating either. Personally, I dont think its good for me. Oh, and I dont want premarital sex . . . So what do I do?!?!Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): I have the same problem too. I also have to wait till marriage...... its very hard very very hard
A
male
reader, oaksi567  +, writes (30 August 2012):
I don't know if it is different for a man to a woman, but I know how you are feeling. I'm a man and have the same promblem, probably better being patient and sticking to masturbation, hopefully you will meet someone soon. I respect you for your patience and sex isn't everything, I'm waiting for the right lady. Good Luck. Sex toys might help as well and satisfy your cravings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): Hi, don't masturbate it would only increase your sex drive. You just have to calm down and crontrol your urges.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): Sex isn't everything. It's very important to find someone who is right for you in character, background etc. Can your friends and relatives introduce you to possibly suitable men so that you can find a husband.
I am glad to you realise that sex on its own is empty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): well the only option seem to be getting married...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 August 2012):
 You've reached the pinnacle of what we call in the US, "Catch-22".....
You have only two choices... and you've stated, clearly, that you don't wish to partake of either....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 August 2012):
 There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it's not bad for you. It's actually good for you mentally and physically and for your future sex life.
You unfortunately just have to wait it out. The suggestion below that you try to take your mind off it is a good one. It's hard to feel that horny when you're out doing something fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2012): Resistance to your urges, Masturbation, or premature sex is the only options.
There's nothing wrong with masturbation, its normal and healthy.
Try using sex toys and other methods of masturbation to see if you can satisfy your urges better, if you don't want to have premature sex.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 August 2012):
 What is wrong with masturbating? Its a great release, you're not dependent on a man for your sexual gratification and you know exactly what works for you.
Look, if you close all options, you're averse to masturbation and you dont have a boyfriend whom you're intimate with, then I'm afraid you've closed all options yourself. Not that I'm advocating pre-marital sex or anything, but since you are against all of it, what else can you do? The only option for you is to ask your parents to get you married because that is the only way to fulfill your sexual desires.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 August 2012):
 And as an aside, in case you feel that I overstated the case about the need for you to be kept safe I will post a link below.http://www.unl.edu/rhames/courses/212/readings/honor-kil-ng.pdfThis article explains the history and mind set that supports this violence again women in some countries.And explains why any doubt heaped on the woman can result in such dire consequences for a woman who is subject to such strong sanctions, even if people only assume, but have no verifiable proof that such things did or did not happen in various countries in the world.Please take care and aim to stay safe at all times.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 August 2012):
Your post shows the flag of Pakistan. It would seem, depending on the social standing of your family and the custom and practice in your country that there is only one solution.
Assuming that you live in Pakistan and that is your country of birth. And you follow the most dominant religion in that country, then that will affect my advice.
Therefore if you live and were born in Pakistan and follow the most dominant religion in Pakistan then that is what I will base my answer on.
THus, if that is so, you already know how strict are the social conventions. Particularly social conventions about women having premarital sex (which you resolutely have confirmed you will not even consider)
But there is even social disapproval in your country if a woman admits to masterbating.
However many women in your country do do masterbate, but do not reveal that fact to anyone. Especially not to anyone in their family.
For fear of repercussions and social disapproval.
It is important that you are able to live in safety.
Therefore the only solution I can see, if you have no other choice, and wish to stay where you are, is to marry.
And hope it is possible for you to marry a man is a man who also has a high sex drive.
Yet at first you may have to hide your sex drive and not reveal that you masterbate. And once again this assumes that you live and intend to remain in your country.
You are a virgin. Of that I am sure as I believe your post.
A man marrying a virgin in your country would expect his wife to be ignorant of all matters to do with sexual relations between a man and a woman. He would see it as his role to introduce you to the delights of sexual relations between him and you.
Thus you will have to express wonder and delight about what he is teaching you.
If a man assumed (even incorrectly) that his new wife has far more sexual knowledge than he imagined then he may accuse her of not being a virgin when they married.
This would put you in a very dangerous position, even if you know that you absolutely are a virgin. A man could accuse you punishable crimes if he became convinced that you had had sexual relations with other men.
Some men assume that a woman can only learn about sex from other men. This is not true, but men appear to cling to it as potential truth. And such an accusation in your country could result in great difficulties for you.
This is not the advice I would ever offer in the west. It would be seen as dishonest in the west. And it is dishonest.
But due to honor killings, which do take place in your country and are often condomed by the men and the older women in the local community. The honor killings also serve as a warning to any woman who may appear to have had sexual relations prior to marriage (even if people only assume). Since one a woman is singled out for the contempt of the community she will find few or no people who will try to step forward and defend the woman.
You would be aware that Honor killings do still take place in your country.
Often the woman is punished yet the men only receive a mild punishment for the same premarital sex.
Realistically you should not put yourself in a position of danger.
If you post under the Pakistan flag but you live in the west then your situation is not as dire, unless you live in an area of any country where the family feel strongly enough about premarital sex that they would consider a punishment against you if you did try to satisfy your sex drive.
Let your parents know that you really want to marry. Ask them for a strong man. That being a euphemism for a man with stamina. That being a further clue to (hopefully) ensure that the man you marry will be very interested in sexual relations.
Yet proceed carefully. Never giving a hint before you marry that you even know how to pleasure yourself
If you later reveal that you do not live in Pakistan, even though that is your preferred flag, then my advice will be completely different.
My aim in giving the above answer is to ensure that you can achieve your aim but also protect you from any harm.
A woman with a high sex drive can be a threat to some men. But such a woman can be a real delight for a man with a similarly high sex drive.
I will look forward to any follow up you are able to post. Just in case all the above advice has to be scrapped and new advice given instead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2012): I was a virgin at 24 and I didn't masturbate then either, of course I got horny, but I just basically waited my way through it. When I was feeling particularly horny I would go and read a book that I found extremely good, or I would watch a movie or something and soon the feeling of being horny would pass. There is not much else you can do I am afraid, though I would love to hear what other aunt's and uncle's have as a solution.
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