A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This probably is not the most appropriate place to ask this, but:My wife took a plate of cookies to some new neighbors. They weren't home, so she left a note. They haven't returned the plate, and it's been a week or two. To make matters worse they haven't thanked her. Best to just let the (china) plate go?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your suggestions. In the end they did return it; just procrastinators I guess. And no, they weren't total strangers. I don't think these days I'd eat food from a total stranger either! (BTW years ago we took some cookies to some new neighbors who later became good friends. They told me years later that they still remembered it, and that initially they had thought we were going to bring them cookies weekly! :)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 July 2012):
 Yeah, I wouldn't have eaten those cookies either. Maybe you live in a small town where this is normal, but here where I live you'd just throw those cookies in the trash and wonder why strangers would leave cookies on the doorstep. But, it could be that that is the custom where you live.
Again, talk to them. Talking is the way to connect with others, not cookies left on the doorstep.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 July 2012):
 If it was me as the new neighbor I'd be shy to knock on a door I did not know...
I would also go over when they are home and knock on the door and properly welcome them to the neighborhood.
To be honest, I don't know that I would have eaten cookies LEFT ON MY DOORSTEP BY STRANGERS....
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 July 2012):
No. Don't be so passive. Just use the china plate as an opportunity to go knock on their door! You sound like you and your wife don't know your neighbours well. It could be the note flew away and they don't know who it was from. Could be they forgot. And you and your wife don't seem to talk to them much since it hasn't been brought up for over two weeks.
So talk to them. Walk over, knock on the door, say hi, and ask them if they received the cookies you left. You should have just asked a few days afterwards, not waited this long.
Don't be passive. If you want to make friends with the neighbors don't just leave a note, go meet them in person and talk to them. And don't assume the worst, always assume the BEST. They forgot. They're easily distracted people. Or the note was misplaced, or lost. And they would love to meet you and be able to return the plate and have a chance to thank you in person. Go talk to them, that's all you need to do.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (23 July 2012):
 They probably think the plate was part of the gift and have no idea they are suppose to return it so if the plate is special she should just ask for it back. But in the future when you bring goodies to people or events you do not know that well it's best to put the treats in a really nice disposable plate then no worries
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 July 2012):
 Just do exactly as Aunty BimBim says. If they've just moved they're likely very busy, so just knock and ask for it back and say you hoped they enjoyed them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2012): Is it possible they dont know which house you live in? I know that sounds silly but possible. Go to their house when you see that they are home and do the meet n greet n get ur plate back.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (23 July 2012):
 Knock on the door "hi, sorry you were out when we came to meet you, I hope you got the cookies okay, my wife's has sent me over to see if you have finished with the plate they were on"
"let us know if you need anything or if we can help at all"
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 July 2012):
 Go get the plate back and don't visit them again unless they invite you to have a treat. Maybe the neighbors are waiting for you to pick it up. They might not have basic manners but let's see who they really are before assuming anything. Having neighbors you can talk to is better than feeling awkward when you run into them and don't feel like saying anything.
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