A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I'm new to this site. I need help. I know my body very well and I've done tests to see when I ovulate and it just so happens that I had sex a day before ovulating and that's the day you are most likely to fall pregnant? So, we did the deed and I have no ide if he ejaculated inside me but I highly doubt that he did... I keep thinking what if I fall pregnant? If I do, I would be so happy! But he wouldn't. He doesn't want a child and he'll blame me for falling pregnant! What should I do? I know he deserves to know if I'm pregnant but I'm just scared. What are the chances of me falling pregnant? Please. I'll take any advice. Thanks in advance
View related questions:
be pregnant, ejaculate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (25 July 2012):
you could have taken the morning after pill. it is never a good idea to have unprotected sex unless and until you and your husband/boyfriend both know that you want and are fully ready for a baby. you are young, this could end badly if you are pregnant and he isnt interested or ready. if your not pregnant get yourself on some contraception because you dont want to be like some people I know, who were single mothers since the very first day. thats no fun, you want to be able to share your childs life with the father, not one week his house and one week at yours.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (25 July 2012):
 Hi
Try not to stress at this point, because that is not good for you. And if you are pregnant is is not good for you and the baby.
The lubricating fluid that is released first by a man can still have some semen in it. That fluid helps the sperm to swim up to meet your egg. And then fertilize it.
Just because a man might ejaculate just outside your vagina does not mean you cannot get pregnant.
Swimming really hard towards their target is what sperm do.
No one gives them a piggyback to get there.
In terms of the minute size of sperm and how far they have to swim to reach the egg is a miracle in itself.
I think i would be more concerned that you were not as concerned about STDs.
Any sexual partner can have a Sexually Transmitted Disease.
So not matter what happens in the future, please remind him to use a condom.
Hope you can see your Doctor soon to at least give you some certainty
Regards
Abella
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 July 2012):
 You said you were scared and that he would blame you. That doesn't sound too welcoming of an unwanted pregnancy. If I were your mother/sister/friend i'd wonder if he was a good choice to be your baby's father. Not a promising start....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBecause what he wants, and what could happen are two different things.... He doesn't want it but if it were to happen, he'll deal with it.... And this isn't something I planned. I came on here to ask if there's a chance that I could fall pregnant cause it just so happens that this and this and this happened. I would never force anything on him. If I never said "I would like to fall pregnant" or whatever, non of this would have been so confusing. I really did not plan this, I wasn't trying and then I checked, I was very fertile. Just a coincidence.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2012):
"He doesn't want a child and he'll blame me for falling pregnant! What should I do?"
vs. "My boyfriend said if it were to happen that I fall pregnant, we'll deal with it. He won't push me away or run away. I'm still a little worried about him though."
I think at this point, you've been given lots of practical advice to answer your firs question.
But then you add the new info, which doesn't align with what you wrote earlier.
I'm going to advocate for the child you hope to have.
I know children whose parents are split up and other children whose parents are together.... I can't comment on how this will impact these particular children longterm, I know there are studies. X percent of Y group will be perfectly fine. Y percent of X group will be a horrible mess and will continue their familial dysfunction through time....
I do know children of parents who split up, It's not easy,
If I were you, I'd do my best to have a child with a man who has committed to you.
If you were a lesbian, I'd say, do your best to have a child with a partner who has committed to you and the long term interests of the child.
If you were a gay man, I'd say, do your best to have a child with a partner who has committed to you and the long terms interest of the child.
Your guy isn't ready.
If it were to happen, he'd deal with it?
How sad is that as a start for a happy baby?
Yes, he could turn it around and be brilliant. No doubt, many men do.
But really, is that the best you can do for your future children???
Really?
You aren't a bad person I know but damn, girl. This sounds so half-assed and such bad planning....
He'll show up as a parent if it's forced on him... you just have the ovulation calendar ready... and then what...
If he's not the right guy.... put a condom on the penis and get yourself on birth control.
If he's the right guy but needs time, don't surprise him with a pregnancy you could have prevented....
Who's doing your thinking? Your eggs or you???
What's BEST for the baby? And the answer to that question will most likely NOT be what works for you.....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't get my hopes up... Way too afraid of disappointment. It doesn't change anything, I guess. My boyfriend said if it were to happen that I fall pregnant, we'll deal with it. He won't push me away or run away. I'm still a little worried about him though. Anyway, will keep you updated on everything! :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2012):
P.S. I have to admit I made the numbers up.... I have no idea. I could provide charts on what happens with x contraceptive over y time but I cannot give you a definite answer as to your chances of being pregnant might be. Let's say the number is more than zero... so... the number is more than zero! It might be 0.5 in 100,000 or it might be 5 in 10,000 or maybe even 50 in 1000. So, assuming someone gave you a precise guestimate.... how does that change anything for you?I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to point out to you the needless quest for a number.... You could be pregnant.... chances are slim but.... so then what?You will need a doctorIf you want to be pregnant and want a healthy baby there are vitamins you should be taking..If you don't want to be pregnant then you need to be in contact with your doctor to make arrangements in the event this is a pregnancy.And again, this is all a bunch of speculation.... what exactly does this do for you except get your hopes up or dash them?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, with my ex boyfriend (2 years ago) We tried for a baby and I had this sort of ovulation calculator on my phone and I would keep track of it so we know when to do what we did, lol... Anyway, I never deleted it and I recently found out and then I thought to check it out this month, to see.... Just a coincidence, I guess. Well, I'm not planning on telling him until I know for sure. If I'm not, he never has to know. If I am, I'll sit him down and talk to him about it. I don't know. Will still figure it all out once I know for sure.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2012):
If it's within a 72 hour period you can seek emergency contraception.
I'm a bit confused. You say you aren't planning it but you are checking when you ovulate? So you are very aware of your fertility and the times when you could become pregnant yet you didn't plan it.
Hm. Perplexing.
So to answer your question, what are the chances you are pregnant? Well, anywhere from 0-50 percent.
So now that there's a number for you, what does that do in terms of your planning process and the discussions you have with your doctor or boyfriend?
If I were to say the number was between 1-35 percent, does that change anything?
If the number was between 2-15 percent, again, please explain what changes for you in this question?
Does the potential number change the way you will approach your boyfriend or your doctor?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Tisha! No not yet, First gonna wait to see if I get my period! :) :) :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2012):
Have you rung your doctor?
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 July 2012):
 We only know as much as you tell us. So trying to educate yourself on getting pregnant when your boyfriend doesn't want a baby is a BAD IDEA.
On the other hand, if he doesn't want a child then he needs to take the precautions and use a condom and you need to be on birth control. Perhaps, you need to talk to him about taking steps to prevent a pregnancy. It requires responsibility from both parties.
To answer your question, if he ejaculated inside of you it's a possibility you may be pregnant. But only a pregnancy test when you miss your period will confirm or deny that, not people on the internet. If he DIDN'T ejaculate inside you, then it's unlikely you are pregnant. There is a small chance due to the fact there are a little bit of sperm in pre ejaculation.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 July 2012):
 I understand that you want a child and he doesn't. This does not make you a bad person, nor does it make him one either. But it is something that you both need to talk about, as it will cause problems in the future if it is not dealt with now. I understand that you are wanting to be pregnant now, but a child is a big thing, as am sure you are aware off, and he may actually up and walk away leaving you to raise the baby on your own, these are all things that need to be discussed between the both of you. My guess is that if he never ejaculated inside of you then you are not pregnant. Go to the doctors to have it confirmed but please don't get your hopes up as chances are very slim. After getting this sorted I think you and your boyfriend really need to both sit down and discuss what it is you both want. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not forcing him into anything!!!! I didn't plan this... Please, don't judge me before you know the whole story. Rather not comment if you don't know what's going on. Not being rude but you're making me look like a such a bad person and I'm not. I really didn't plan this!
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 July 2012):
 You should not be trying to force him into fatherhood. If he's not ready, he's not ready. It's unlikely he'd be able to be a good father then as well. If you want to be a mother, you either need to be patient or find a new partner.
It should have been obvious if he'd ejaculated. You should be using condoms.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2012):
If his semen made it into your vagina and all the conditions are right, of course you could fall pregnant. If you want numerical probabilities, well, we can google just as well as you can to see if we can find the magical formula that will tell you.
The point is that you either are pregnant or you are not. Go see your doctor and have a test if this is troubling you so much. Worrying about his reaction and all that is pointless until you know if you are pregnant or not.
After you know the results, you could spend some time contemplating why you who WANT to fall pregnant, are involved with and having sex with a guy who doesn't want a baby right now. Maybe you are with the wrong guy and he's with the wrong girl? Maybe this is a wakeup call to say, "hey, you want a baby. He doesn't. Why are you with him?"
Anyway, the point is that we can speculate all week on this and it won't change the fact that none of us can give you the precise probability as to whether you are pregnant or not. The rest of your concerns can be discussed once you know that status, okay?
Calm down, ring your doctor and get a proper test. Then come back after you have learned the situation, for more help with the relationship side of this.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I didn't do it on perpose. I only checked after we had sex and it just so happens that my timing was spot on. I didn't plan on this but I wouldn't mind getting pregnant.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 July 2012):
I agree with Abella go to your doctors and get a test done. Yes off course you could be pregnant, it makes me wonder though have you done this on purpose to try and become pregnant? If so then really you should not be doing this unless you speak properly to your boyfriend about it. However if he is so worried about not having a baby he should be using protection, it takes two people to make a baby so no it would not be just your fault if you became pregnant. Go to the doctor and find out for sure and then talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. If he is not wanting a child at the moment and you are happy to go along with that for now then I suggest you think of a method for contraception. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and he didn't c*** inside of me, so is there still a chance?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much! Holding thumbs that I am.... Xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (24 July 2012):
Please visit the Doctor and have a proper test, because yes you definitely could be pregnant. You chose the ideal time to have sex to get pregnant. And the sperm can remain alive within you and viable for another couple of days. So your timing is spot on.
However forget the store bought pregnancy kits as they often show a false positive.
And if you are pregnant then start reading up on why Calcium supplements and Folic Acid tablets are important etc.
And my Good wishes for the difficult task of convincing your guy that this is a wonderful possiblity. But remeber it may not be true.
So until you have the test administered by the Doctor hold back from announcing the good news, lips are sealed Because your guy will want to see what the Doctor's test says, if it is positive
...............................
|
