A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.. I recently found out that my friends girlfriend cheated on him with one of our mutual friends about 6 months a go. My friend told me about a month a go that he had slept with her. Apparently it happended once when they were drunk, after a bad row she had with her boyfriend. I went to see my friends girlfriends bestfriend, and she confirmed it, but said I should not say anything as it happended once, and his girlfriend was in a bad place at the time and that my friend and his girlfriend were now really happy-they have been together a long time, have a house together etc. She said to basically stay out of it, and it was a mistake her friend had made and she regrets it badly. Should I tell him ? Even if I only have words-no proof a such ? Plus our mutual friend will get the crap kicked out of him-he's a volatile guy. Or stay quiet ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): I think you should tell. Two less people getting away with cheating...if more people spoke up and didn't lie for each other, maybe more people would get some morals these days.
There is never an excuse or justification for cheating.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): If I were in your shoes, I would tell. I would do what I believed was the right thing, regardless of the consequences. I wouldn't do it for the sake of some form of "reward", but because it's the kind of person I am, and it's what I believe is right. Only you can decide what is right or wrong, or what's too easy or too hard of hassle in your mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): I can't believe when people say stay out of it, you're essentially aiding and abetting someone to live a LIE!
She cheated and didn't tell him so that is essentially being dishonest and now they are happy?
If my girlfriend cheated I would want to know
Tell him!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 If it was me I would mind my own business.
YOU are not part of THEIR relationship.
I realize you feel a loyalty to him but if he sides with her you may wreck your friendship with this guy forever.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (11 September 2012):
 This is not a nice situation to be in..I have been there. My friend was cheating on her boyfriend and they were to be married in 3 weeks. She had cheated with several guys, not just one. I knew for certain she had cheated, she told me so herself. I didn't think it was right, I told her fiance. The whole thing blew up in my face. (Kill the messenger) kind of thing. He didn't believe me, she lied, they married..got divorced a year later. I lost 2 friends because I told the truth. Your situation is different in the fact that you don't know FOR CERTAIN that she cheated, and it only happened once. I was only 19 when this whole thing happened to me. Now that I'm older, I'd honestly tell you to stay out of it. Maybe the girl really truly just made a bad judgement in error, and has no intention of cheating again. Lets hope so, huh?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): Definitely tell him. That's what friends do. They look out for each other.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 You have two options. One is to remain quiet and mind your business.
The other is to tell the girlfriend that she has one week to tell him herself or you will.
Though I would say stay out of it.
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