A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So this is a sex question, I was wondering if anyone could help me understand why I can't orgasm from anything other than vaginal sex and very rarely clitoral stimulation with fingers. Basically I've been with my partner for 3 years and we've both discovered everything together, I have no prior experience sexually (bar kissing) to him. I've found that oral sex does nothing for me and when he's fingering me I can only very rarely orgasm even though it feels amazing. We've been having sex for about half our relationship and I've always been able to orgasm easily from it. On our first time I had 2 mindblowing orgasms that I don't think I'll ever be able to top. I also have issues with masturbation, I just can't seem to get anything from it, I'll get my boyfriend to talk dirty to me and put me in the mood but I just find no interest in doing it myself, it's like being able to predict the next move takes away all the excitement and I'm left feeling unsatisfied and frustrated, I have nothing against masturbation and would love to be able to please myself so what's wrong with me? Why am I so different?
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female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (22 September 2012):
You're really lucky to be able to orgasm through intercourse. That hardly happens to me unless my clit is being stimulated at the same time. Orgasming on your first time intercourse! I sure do envy you.
If you insist you want something externally then you can try lubricating your clit very well(i find wet to be better than dry stimulation), then rub it after you're very turned on. It should be able to get you over the edge. You might want to exercise some patience as well while you're at it, don't give up doing it and you'll eventually get there.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Nothing is wrong with you at all. Different people have different turn ons. I'm similar to you, I can only orgasm from penetration or from vibrators, but not oral sex or fingers. I think for me it's the mental aspect of the sex that makes it feel better, though I have no idea if that's the same for you. But either way, you are lucky that you know exactly what gets you off and that it's also the easiest way to get off with a partner. So embrace it and stop worrying!
If you want to be able to masturbate, try using indirect stimulation, since it's more like sex, like through your underwear or using something to rub up on. Though most people find masturbation less satisfying than sex.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (22 September 2012):
 The clitoris that you see on the outside of your body is actually only a very tiny exposed portion of it. In reality, the clitoris has two large, spongy "legs" that nearly circle the entire vagina, and it's theorized that the "G-spot" is the "internal clitoris" merging with the vagina. During penetrative sex, the pressure and motion of the object stimulates the "internal clitoris" portion, which is the stimulation your body prefers.
Some women can only reach orgasm with direct stimulation of the external clitoris. A smaller number of women can only reach orgasm with direct stimulation of the internal clitoris.
Both are normal.
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