A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had sex the second time last week. We have done it before but he has never penetrated my vagina. Well last week we tried it for the first time. First time he went in about 2 inches but it hurt me really badly like there was something blocking him from going further in so i felt like something was going to break inside me. The second time he went halfway in and it was the same. Is it because I'm not relaxing and i'm clenching my muscles or something or is something wrong with me?
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female
reader, lillady1976  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 First, you need to be turned on and your body will lubricate itself(get wet) then iii not try a lube. You can use as much lube as you want and RELAX. Don't stress or over think it.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 The first thing to try is what you said. You're probably really nervous and clenching up. It's most likely he's bumping into a wall of clenched muscle. You need to first try relaxing AND most importantly making sure you are turned on. When starting out you should have at least 30 minutes of GOOD foreplay, oral sex maybe. Make sure he can slide two fingers in easily before proceeding. Then put some good water or silicone based lube on the outside of the condom at the tip, relax your muscles as much as you can, and then proceed. When you are not aroused enough, your vaginal canal is extremely tight, you need all that bloodflow down there to get ready. It's exactly the same as him getting an erection, but since it's not visible people seem to forget it's equally important. Basically you need to be close to orgasm before you even start.
If that doesn't work, then you need to visit a gyno to rule out a thick hymen (a very quick in office procedure that will fix it) or vaginismus.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 You may have a thick hymen which is physically preventing the penis from entering. It may be worthwhile for you to see your gynecologist and have a quick exam to see what the situation is. You can also discuss birth control options and safe sex practices with her or him and have the best options available to you there.
If you are aroused enough and relaxed as you can be yet still encounter a physical block as you describe, it may well be a thick hymen. That can be easily dealt with by the gynecologist and you can then go on to enjoy sex with your boyfriend!
If you are experiencing something vaginismus, that will be something to discuss with your gynecologist as well. That's the involuntary constriction of the vaginal muscles, preventing anything from entering the vagina.
Either way, all signs point to a quick visit to the gynecologist! Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 No there is nothing wrong with you at all. Losing your virginity is a big thing, and it is hurting simply because you are nervous, and yes you are clenching your muscles which prevent him from going any further. You need to be completely ready and wanting this in order for it to happen. You need to ensure that there is also plenty of lubrication as well so I would recommend buying that. Also you need to be completely relaxed and try and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about this, it is completely normal and it happens to plenty of people when they first become sexually active. It will take time but you will get the hang of it.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (11 September 2012):
Try using vaseline or vaginal jelly.
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