A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes: hi, not going to be a long question but, i found out my boyfriend of nearly a year has been going on dating websites. He knows i know now and i told him im leaving him, but hes begging me not to saying he loves me and all that waffle, honestly im really hurt i dont know how to cope with it? I wasnt looking for anything suspicious, i wasnt even looking for anything i was just on his laptop about to go on facebook when i clicked on the internet button and all them websites that youve recently been on or go on recently pop up and i saw it, i said to him whats that and he was like oh i dont know what that is ive never seen it before, so i went to click on it to find out if he was lying and he turned off the laptop and his the charger, so obviously hes guilty otherwie id have proved myself wrong. Then when i found the charger i went onto it and tried to register with his email and it said it was already recorded. I tried to reset the password but it wouldnt let me. He keeps saying he hasnt registered for it but clearly he has, i dont know what to do please help! :(
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male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (29 September 2012):
Anger causes people to yell, hit the wall, say horrible things or even get violent. I have never heard of anger driving people to register on dating sites. Whatever you want to believe I suppose.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2012): Again, so what? That was then, this is now and he was RECENTLY on it. He is probably getting plenty of emails from the site to help entice him along... and he couldn't resist and went on the site to browse, whatever. He still went there, which again, never should have happened...he should have no interest. Don't get suckered...but I think you are caving and believing him. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): Whether he registered or not, the bottom line is, when you are in a relationship, you do not go to dating sites.
He was caught, he is trying to get out of it by making up some excuse...fail.
Good for you for not allowing him to treat you that way!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 September 2012):
Just end it and put him behind you, you don't HAVE to have set in stone proof, his behavior added with e-mail already being registered kinda tell it all.
UNLESS... he signed up BEFORE he met you and didn't delete it.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (27 September 2012):
I have been through very similar. Dating sites are for dating. Accept no bs. I would walk before you start to lose your self worth.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (27 September 2012):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I got into his account finally and there isn't anything on them no messages or anythig and he let me change his password he said he set it up out of anger when we split up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): i think dating sites are a cowards way of cheating because they falsely believe they wont ever get found out because they wont be seen. ditch him.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (27 September 2012):
If he was having problems with your relationship then he could have said something. The chances are he was just looking for an easy way of cheating without getting caught. Leave him because you deserve far better.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (27 September 2012):
Dump him. Your boyfriend is seeking out other women. There is no other reasonable explanation.
You are not jumping to conclusions. You're not mistaken. You know what you saw and we agree with you.
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A
female
reader, Avalon +, writes (27 September 2012):
I agree with Person12345. Do not back down. Leave this man, and don't look back.
I wasted 11 years with a man who cheated on me various times. I was foolish enough to believe his lies. Please don't do the same. It will hurt, and it will be hard for you to leave him, but YOU NEED TO DO IT. You don't want to spend your life always worrying what they're up to until you become a paranoid mess. Get out now.
There are genuinely decent guys out there, willing to treat you with respect. Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 September 2012):
Your boyfriend was clearly on a dating website and has panicked when found out. You're doing the right thing breaking up, be strong. Don't let him wear you down.
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