A
female
age
,
*racky
writes:My ex who now is married, talks to me often. My question is why does he not call me but says it's alright to call him??? He gives me his schedule so i know when to call. Why doesn't he just call me?? i have a bf and it's just nice to talk to an old friend!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I'm sorry but he's using you.
I'd stop calling.
when his wife finds out you will be the bad guy trust me.
in addition, I do not subscribe to the whole "be friends with an ex" concept. If you are that good of friends why aren't you his wife?
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 Despite you trying to convince us all here that you want to stay in touch with this guy as just a friend...we here all know that 'the lady dost protest too much'
It's obvious you want more from him...a married man (which you are kinda seeing as more of an inconvienience, cos he a'int told you directly)and you in a relationship with someone else.
Does it occur to you that there are two other people caught up in this arrangement?...his wife and your man??
If you want to get it on with him, or have his attention so badly, then just go flaunt yourself, bug him chase him or go psycho on his arse...but dont be dressing it up like you just GOTTA have him as a friend and it's on your mind that he isn't calling you...because we all know that's a crock.
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A
female
reader, cracky +, writes (1 October 2012):
cracky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have asked him out for coffee or a drink sometime, he said, "i don't want any trouble" so why bother talking to me??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2012):
 ********** I see your logic honeypie! but even if his wife only see's me calling him, don't you think it makes him look bad as well???************
That depends, if she can see it's YOU initiating contact DAILY, not him he can EASILY explain it away as you not wanting to stop talking and he doesn't want to be rude...
The thing is though, you talking to him daily like this, does it hinder your own relationship with your BF? Do you talk to your BF about the dame things?
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A
female
reader, cracky +, writes (23 September 2012):
cracky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFunny thing is , he never tells me he's married to this day and we talk almost daily. I find this very disturbing that he not only hasn't told me he married about 3 years now, but that he never says "we" he only says "I".
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A
female
reader, cracky +, writes (23 September 2012):
cracky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see your logic honeypie! but even if his wife only see's me calling him, don't you think it makes him look bad as well???
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2012):
Because he wants it to look like it's ALL you, in case his wife sees the call log. That would be my guess.
IF he REALLY want to chat and shoot the breeze about the "good old days" he would PICK up the phone and CALL you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 September 2012):
 He won't call you because we guys KNOW that if we call you (girls) we cede a certain amount of power to you.... Soooo, we have YOU call US... and THAT is an indication that WE are still in control!!!!!
P.S. When a real nice guy takes up a relationship with a REAL "new girlfriend" he tapers off on the contacts with that old (ex-) G/F..... Eventually, they may have little contact at all...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): To me it looks like someone who wants to string you along for some emotional/physical fall back. he also does not want to appear he is pursuing you at the same time. he wants you to be chasing after him. just dont call him. cant you find another good friend to talk to? am sure your current bf wouldnt be pleased to no you two have been getting in touch also
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Something sneaky is going on. I suspect he wants to have a fallback when his wife finds out and gets upset, so he can say "she called me!" It seems like playing with fire here and I'd question whether talking to an old friend is worth this.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 September 2012):
Maybe he wants you to do all the work and pay for the calls. The fact that he has given you his schedule suggests he doesn't want his wife to find out...does such a sneaky person who just happens to be your ex make a good friend?
I wonder.
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