A
female
age
30-35,
*zabella637
writes:Hey everyone i have a question, my husband and i decided that we want to try anal, we use a lott of lub and go nice and slow but i cant stand the pain it just makes me want to scream. It feels like im being ripped in half, hes being patient with me and using lub and everything but is there any other suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): No theres really no other possibility besides LOTS of lube to make it as painless as possible. The anus isn't designed for insertion, it is where your waste exits and is therefore containing a lot of bacteria. So next time you guys go at it make sure he's wearing a condom (for anal) or you could both risk infection. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): Yes, if its not your thing then simply stop. At least you tried it for him.
Besides, the back passage wasn't designed for it, so I'm pretty sure it could cause damage.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 September 2012):
 pain is our bodies way of saying NO...
if it hurts don't do it.
if he insists...don't do him...
any man that insists on HURTING the woman he loves
a. is not a man
b. does not love you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): okay, for starters, if it is hurting you, then you should never keep going...ever! You can do some serous damage to yourself!
I will tell you this... I did want to try it, but it was just not working, it was too painful. I stopped it immediately. We tried for over a year here and there, and finally, one time it just worked and it did not hurt at all...a little pressure, but that's it. We were both shocked lol. Anyway, I loved it and really began to want it more and more. We probably start out and finish, or end up with anal, at least twice a week, no problems, no pain and no after affects.
I think what finally did it for me, was that particular night when it finally worked, we were really into it and there was a whole lot of forplay and I think I was just completely relaxed and had no anxiety of entry.
I do like one posters suggestion of using a butt plug to stretch the anus if it's something that you really want to do. I did not have to do that, but I have heard it helps. He can start with one finger, then two or his thumb, maybe three, or you can youself...just gradual stretching and plenty of lube.
Your body needs to be so incredibly relaxed and receptive to anal or seriously, it will not work and there will be pain. Again, if it hurts you guys are just not doing it right, so keep practicing.
But also, please, please, please do not do this unless you really want to. Never do it to please a man. Unless they have had the same done to them, they have no idea what it's like or what it really feels like for US.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Yeah, here's a suggestion; don't have anal sex anymore. He'll get over it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): Of course it is painful because this whole is not being designed for sex. You can damage the muscles permanently. My friend tried it once and she had bleeding and also diarrhea for few days, she was so scared. You tried it, it hurts so stop doing
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (25 September 2012):
Actually there is one helpful suggestion I can make, and that is to stretch the anus out gradually before attempting intercourse. Lube up a butt plug and incorporate it into foreplay. It should be gradually inserted, perhaps while your partner gives your oral. If the anus is relaxed it makes insertion of the penis and intercourse much less painful.
It is likely that the problem you're having is because you aren't relaxed. Lube can only do so much. If the muscle is tight, it will be painful when he inserts himself.
However, it is true that not all women can enjoy anal sex. If you try taking your time and stretching it out gradually before intercourse, and it still hurts, then I do advise you stop attempting it.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I tried it once to say I've tried it and it felt the same way. Most uncomfortable pain ever. Just don't try it anymore, it obviously doesn't work for you.
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A
female
reader, Peonysheart +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Pain is definatley a sign to stop. Have you ever used toys in play in the anus. I think you might find given time and some toys that you two will be able to enjoy anal sex. However if toys hurt as well than I wouldnt suggest going any further.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): Nope, no other suggestions. You've tried, it didn't work. You can cross it off your list.
Not all people fit in that hole OP, the anus is not as stretchy as the vagina and pain is a definite sign that you should not do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): er, yes - don't do it because you will permanently damage your body?
And because if it hurts it isn't pleasurable?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 September 2012):
I think your body is telling you to stop.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 "is there any other suggestions?"
Yes don't do it!
If it hurts why the heck would you keep doing it?! The VAST majority of women hate anal sex, you're not doing something wrong here. Just say no! It's gross he would even be able to stay hard let alone get off seeing you in that much pain.
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