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Is his recent interest in seeing me with another woman a sign he's losing interest?

Tagged as: Age differences, Faded love, Pornography, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *unni8972 writes:

My husband and I have been together over a year and have a great sex life. He used to be very against porn and the idea of girl on girl or threesomes. Now he looks at porn every day (even after we just had sex) and brings up wanting to see me with another girl everytime we have sex.

I am 23 and he just turned 40. He assures me that i am very sexy and he loves me and our sex constantly but im worried that he might not be as excited by me as he claims. Should i be so worried? Is he possibly getting bored?

View related questions: porn, sex life, threesome

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (21 September 2012):

person12345 agony auntNot bored, sounds like he's getting more into porn and it's affecting his ideas about what a normal sex life should be. Maybe ask him to cut back a bit to see if it helps.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with Honeypie that porn was on the table for a 40 yr old long before you.

you are together over a year... how long are you married and how long did you know him before you married?

personally, yeah I'd be concerned that all of a sudden he's switching up on you... perhaps he always had this in mind and figured that if he waited till marriage he could spring this on you.

when you say NO what does he say?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntOK, the thing is DO YOU want to be with another woman? IS it something YOU want to do? If not, tell him. And tell him to stop bringing it up. Porn is not reality.

And a 40 year old man I'm betting he liked porn JUST fine before you, but either didn't watch it in fear of you finding him gross and now that you two have settled down and are comfortable with you, the porn is back out of the bag.

Sex is about balance. It's OK to have fantasies, but not all fantasies need to be lived out. It's also OK to have limits to what you find appropriate when it comes to sex. Some people firmly believe adding more people to the bedroom is a deal-breaker, some don't.

I think you two need to sit down and have a long talk about what you like and where your limits are.

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