A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hey guys , I need some help understanding my crush . I haven't known him very long but I'm very keen on him and feel there is some sort of connection .. Thing is I didn't know he had a girlfriend because he never spoke about being taken so I fell for him not realizing he wasn't available. I felt rather silly because we often flirted and said stuff that you wouldn't say if you had a partner .. We recently became fb friends and we chat a lot about different stuff .. Thing is he said to me he's now single, so I told him how I felt and stuff and he's like yeah we should hang out sometime . Of course I said yes !!! The next day we were talking and he's like you must be desperate to want me I'm like no I'm not , then he's like I just don't wanna lead you on . I'm like oh ok. , then he said. But that don't mean I don't like you , I just need time to get over it .. In another conversation we had we were talking about places and he's like I'll show you one day :) . Can anyone help , because I'm a bit confused , is he interested in me ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 June 2011):
Easy way to find out yourself is cut down on the messages, try not to initiate contact with him and let him do the chasing...if he starts to speak to you more, then he's interested....if the amount of contact starts to dwindle then he was just enjoying your attention.
Also bare in mind that he has just broken up, so part of it could be to do with him getting over his ex.
Hope this helps
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): You need to understand that "hanging out sometime" and "don't wanna lead you on" are not good signs. The first is not asking you out at all and more like just saying anything to not make things awkward after you confessed your liking him. The second just shows he's not feeling you romantically and probably won't down the line.
The best way to tell a guy's interest is by how often he is seeing you and asking to see you. Once or twice a week is moderate interest and any chance they get would be high interest...leading to a relationship (dates, not booty calls). Hanging out would be a booty call so when a guy tells you that it's not a good sign anyway. He said "sometime" and that's so non commital.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 June 2011):
He's definitely not as interested in you as you are in him. He's not jumping in to ask you out, so maybe now would be a good time to back off and give him a chance to miss you a bit.
If he likes you, he'll try to close that gap. If it was a rough breakup, he probably just wants some time to get over it. He knows you're there, he knows how to reach you, now let him make a move, if he's into you he will, if he's not, well, at least you were brave enough to let him know you like him.
The thing that's a bit worrying is that he didn't mention he had a girlfriend. Not full disclosure, not a good sign. Maybe he was about to end it but still....
I'd start playing it a bit cool and just let him make the next move.
Good luck!
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