A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Question for the guys; what do you think of girls asking guys out first? It's just that there's this guy in the year above me at 6th form (he's 18, going to university soon, I'm 17).He's most definitely the cocky confident type but I think he's slightly insecure under everything (although I can't be sure for definite though)Do you love/hate/admire girls to make the first move?Does their age make a difference in your opinion; e.g: if the girl's younger do you admire her pluck? Or think she's jumping ahead of herself? Or if she's older, do you think she's desperate? Or is there no difference at all?Thanks!
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Dummyduckling, I work at a University, and I regularly see the results of new first years 'breaking up' with their bf/gf's back home, or at a different uni. As tutors we see all the tears, and sadness. the anger, the depression, and the effect this has on the work. We are the ones who often have to deal with the outpouring of emotion from these students - the heartbreak to find they no longer keep in contact or the discovery that they have been cheated on.Very very few relationships started at school survive university. Yes, there may be a few, but by and large they are in the minority. Going to university is a new start, a new beginning. Especially for a guy, not being able to take part in all aspects of the social scene would be a big thing. They do not want to have to say, "sorry, cant do that, my GF back home wouldnt like it. " I am not saying women should not ask men out, on the contrary, sometimes I think it is a great idea.I am just warning the OP that altho she feels it is a good idea now, he will be leaving in 2 months time, moving away, wanting to live the social life of a first year student. Dating for only 2 months is nothing, and unless he feels VERY strongly about her, his head will be turned by the hundreds of new girls he will meet. He will not come home every weekend, or every month to see her. It just will not happen. Even the strongest, long term relationships struggle with the distance and temptation of university. Maybe find another guy, who is going to be around more, and be able to give you the attention you deserve.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Its not the asking him out which is a problem here...as far as I know guys dont really have a problem with that. I mean, who doesnt like the attention, right?! If anything, its flattering.
What *could* be a problem here is, as many have pointed out, the fact that he is leaving for uni soon. If you're looking for anything serious, its a gamble, really. Sometimes serious, long term relationships break because of the distance, new friends and studies involved. There are bound to be girls who he would be friendly with. Do you want to get into something shaky right now?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): I asked my boyfriend out.
He was thrilled, and has thanked me many times for doing it, because he'd liked me back all along but had never been able to work up the courage to ask me out.
I say go for it.
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A
female
reader, dummyduckling +, writes (23 June 2011):
 im sorry celtic tiger i have to say your wrong... i asked my partner out and he is in university and has been for over a year, we've been together almost half that time and were still going strong and yes im younger then him aswell so i have to say with no offence ment here, i understand your comments but i think that you havent really thought about it, if he likes this girl enough the distance wouldnt matter at all. i say go for it it may all work out in the end :)
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A
female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I have to agree with celtic_tiger , where he might be starting uni you will probably get your heart broken.
Just be careful about who you choose to date!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (23 June 2011):
I'm also not a man but I've asked out most of the boyfriends/dates I've ever had and I've had a very nice success rate :) If a guy likes you, you asking him out will be a lovely suprise and should not put him off. If he doesn't, what's the harm in finding out? You haven't lost anything.
(NB If he does like you and it does put him off, he probably wasn't a very nice person in the first place)
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I am flattered if a woman asks me out.
Hell, at this point I am happy to get a passing glance or a wave. haha
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A
male
reader, Ronnie70 +, writes (23 June 2011):
 He might think 'Is she going to pay for the meal or am I expected to?'More girls should make the first move; it takes the pressure off the boys.Age is just a number, but there's a lot to be said for older women who are sure of themselves and their attractiveness.
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A
male
reader, Vini  +, writes (23 June 2011):
Go for it. I think, us males, do not have to take the first step all the time. Most men, myself including, would feel very receptive and find it even admirable if the girl has the guts to come and ask them out. Go for it!
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I could care less about who asks who. I've been asked out by women, and its fine by me. Nice actually. Go ahead and do it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Celtic_tiger is right.
He's going to be surrounded by girls everyday, he will be going out on the weekends getting drunk and you can't say for sure he'd be faithful.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but I wouldn't recommend asking him out - If you want to though, who knows he could say yes and it could work out great for you, so if you want to take the chance, more power to ya.
As for what would a guy think, yeah it'd be nice for a girl to make the first move for a change, however he could also get a little cocky about it, knowing that you like him, he might toy with you a little!
Hope this helps, good luck!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (23 June 2011):
Are you thinking of asking him out?
Just remember once he gets to Uni, he will not come home. He will not want to be tied down to a younger girl back home, when he has hundreds of girls the same age or older right under his nose. I fear you would get attached and get your heart broken.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I know that am not a man, but I have plenty of male friends who I know love the fact that a girl would pluck up the courage to ask them out no matter what there age are, age is just a number so that is not important. It shows them that a girl has confidence in themselves. So I say go for it.
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