A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am an 18 year old male. I'm kind of frustrated. It seems that every one of my friends has a significant other and when I hang out with them I always feel like I'm getting in the way. I have never had a girlfriend or even been kissed and this bothers me to no end. I go to bed every night thinking about this. And every time I meet a girl I like I just sit there and write poems about her and never do anything. How do I get over this patheticness? It's annoying when I'm surrounded by people my age or even younger than me who aren't even virgins. And I feel awkward when conversation comes up. For years everyone has told me to wait and that I'm going to find someone someday. But it frustrates me to wait. I'm just a really passionate guy who wants a girl and would do anything for that kind of feeling. Am I just a hopeless romantic? Help!
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Nothing ventured, nothing gained...
I used to be like you, I lacked confidence with girls, didn't know how to approach them and didn't feel attractive.
I've made changes in my life, realised that I'm young and don't need a relationship as these are the best years of my life and there's plenty of time to settle down. Just force yourself into the world, try and set a simple challenge like just saying hello to 3 women walking down a street to help gain confidence, when you've done that, advance on it, maybe act like you're new in town and ask a few girls if they know anywhere tool to hang out and just have a quick conversation. It'll really make you feel more comfortable around girls.
I know its easy to just say man up and go for it, but like I said, I was in your shoes at one time, I met a girl who changed my life and helped me realise that girls are human too! I built my confidence no end in talking to her, ended up falling for her for the feelings to not be returned, however I feel so much better in myself now, I don't really have this problem anymore.
Just loosen up and enjoy being young man, not sure if this will help or not but good luck all the same.
A
female
reader, EvaTheDiva +, writes (29 July 2011):
I agree with JustWondering13. There are girls out there who will kill to be with a sweet guy like you :) Don't freak out just because you're single now.
I guess I'm a bit of a romantic like yourself. I never really got into the whole "dating for fun" thing. If I kiss or be in a relationship with someone... I want to do it with the right person. I don't want these gestures to be cheapened. I admit sometimes it feels really damn lonely, as if everyone had a special person, and that I'm the only one who's alone :( Like my third year in college, one Saturday all my 3 female roommates were gone from the apartment with their bfs, and I was the only one there. I felt so unwanted and called my mom crying!
I'm glad I waited. I started dating my current bf when we were both 22/23, and we are each other's first relationship. He talked about how all his friends are like your friends and how he was also the odd one out. All I can say is, you are REALLY young and it's way too early for you to be stressed about this, b/c I think you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Yes, if you like a girl, you need to screw up the courage and initiate something. But don't worry about this for the wrong reasons (i.e. everyone else is doing it), and if you are, think about WHY this is bothering you. Do you need to work on developing your confidence? Do you want your life to be influenced by peer pressure? When you are more self-assured, these issues will be easier to handle and you may have different, more mature perspective :)
My heart goes out to you and I hope you find the special girl who will cherish you.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 I'm not a guy so I've never had to ask any one out so I can only imagine how nerve racking it must be. That said however sometimes the fear about doing something is way worse than the reality so you should screw up your courage and give it a go just once and see what happens. After you start having some successes your courage will increase and it wont be such a scary thing to do.
Good luck dude I know you can do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): YOU ARE STILL YOUNG!!!!
I hear that you're frustrated but OMG, a nice girl would KILL for someone like you!There really is no rush...and when you find a special girl to be with, you (& HER) will be SO happy that you waited!
I realize that the friend thing is pretty awkward, but your turn will come.
You're definitely not pathetic, & I wish you wouldn't feel that way. I promise you, there really is a girl out there waiting for someone like you & I promise you that she is worth waiting for.
I just hope that you will hang in there & keep waiting for that girl because I know you won't regret it. Just remember that not being attached is NOTHING to be ashamed of, by any means!
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