A
female
age
30-35,
*aleJ12
writes:Why am I into older men.? I'm 16 and ever since I was a little girl, I never really liked the people my age. I would always have crushes on older men. I even had a crush on Jackie Chan... yeah.. Right now I'm dating a man 5 years older than me and we have been together for almost three years. NO man my age is attractive to me. Why is this.? Is this weird.?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): There is never any shortage of mature teenage boys.
There is only a shortage of teenage girls that are really interested in them.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): It is normal.
But don't rule out younger guys. I know it seems like it, but not all young men are jackasses. In fact, I'd venture to say most aren't when it comes right down to it.
Like a poster said, it's simple nature. You are producing eggs and are looking, at the most basic level, for a male who can provide the best possible chance of survival for any children you may have. Once upon a time this meant the fastest, strongest and youngest. Mainly because only those types could hunt successfully and live to bring food home for the women and children and defend against predators.
Now, as defending against predators is not really a priority for the human race, populate though we are, the desire for survival transcribes to someone who will be able to provide financially and emotionally as its now about that as opposed to hunting tigers and mammoths.
For men, from the time we start puberty we have to deal with an influx of testosterone, and this makes it hard for us to maintain a level of calm-headedness. Originally this was to ready us to fight prey much larger and stronger then ourselves and to fight other men, rivals, for female attention and the chance to mate successfully and propagate the species.
We never really used to live long enough for the maturity and wisdom that comes with age to set in. Most people were dead by 30. Now life-expectancy is into the hundreds.
Long though this is, its not really about age anymore. It's about connection. You will feel attracted to those who can provide the greatest scope for that and will be able to provide for any progeny as per the biological imperative to reproduce. And as most men are as capable of fathering kids until the day they die unless something is medically wrong... it seems logical that young women would lust and desire older men in this regard as they are more likely to be able to successfully provide for offspring.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, hopeFUL_romantic_13  +, writes (23 June 2011):
It's totally normal. I've been the exact same way. I'm almost 17. I have definitely had my share of crushes on older celebrities. I have two right now: ian harding (24-25) and nathan fillion (40). I'm am only attracted to guys in their 30s and 40s. It's not so much a question the maturity of older men but of the extreme IMmaturity of guys our age. Lots of young women get over this phase in their twenties while others continue eyeing out men 10+ years their senior. Don't sweat it and just enjoy it. Age doesn't determine maturity though. You find out someday that at their get older man still tend to act like 10 year olds. It doesn't matter how old your partner is so long as you're both happy together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): This is perfectly normal I used to have older guy crushes at your age, but I grew out of it I thought Al pacino was hot stuff and I was like 18 :) but the men I was attracted to started to gradually get younger so im now attracted to guys my own age(25)
I agree with "N91" if you are mature for your age, you tend to see guys your own age to be imature and silly. You want the sensible, caring guy that knows how to talk about his feelings. It just takes most guys that bit longer to be able to demonstrate those things in comparision to girls.
It could be a phase,or you could just stay in love with your boyfriend. The most improtant thing is that you both feel comfortable with eachother and love eachother.
Good Luck.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): This is very very very normal. When I was your age I fancied film stars who were in their 40s and 50S. In my early twenties I dated men in their 30s or late 20s, then someone my own age. Two years ago I was with someone 10 years younger than me. What I'm trying to says is really the age of your partner doesn't really matter (unless he or she is under the legal age of majority in your country in which case it really DOES matter!) The most important thing is that you and your partner are comfortable and happy with each other.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Maybe you see guys your own age is being immature? Older men have responsibilities to tend to in life which makes them more mature, they don't have the time to act childish and mess around like kids your age still do in school/college...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): Yes it's normal.
Lots of people like to point out that girls physically mature faster than boys. But the subject has been studied and that difference is only about 1-2 years. It does not come anywhere near closing the gap between teenage girls and full grown men.
The real reason it is normal is the same reason that older men are attracted to younger women. Reproduction. Both genders are attracted to the other gender in its prime. Girls are at their reproductive peak in their teens and 20s. Men are at their physical prime in their 20s and 30s when they are both in good shape and also wealthy & powerful enough to provide for their families.
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