A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey this may sound ridiculous but i need a second opinion or something..i didn't have a bad childhood i guess, but it wasn't great either. for the majority of it my dad beat my little brother senseless, but hardly ever touched me. he scared me witless though, just on the thought of the possibility of me being next. and then for no reason he left me, my 2 younger brothers and my mum with hardly a penny to our names..i dont know why he hit my brother which was probably why i was so scared of him hitting me. but anyway, because of him i've had trust issues with men, but i'm finally in a long term relationship with an amazing boyfriend who (Dare i say it) seems to be the one. but i'm afraid that my trust issues will get in the way.i love him to pieces but i'm afraid that he's going to hurt me and then leave me. how can i get over this?i've told him about my past, about how much it effected me, but i haven't told him about this insecurity..thanks for all your adviceanonxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Well you need to tell him, immediately, or else it could be your own insecurities than end the relationship and it not be on his part at all.
Also, as Daniel said, I think it'd be beneficial for you to attend counselling to try and conquer your trust issue.
Good luck
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (14 May 2012):
 Because of the type of relationship (or lack thereof) you had with your father, it's natural for you to not fully trust men- completely out of fear that they'll leave or hurt you. But what you must realize is these men, are different from your father. And if you truly believe you found the one, then you have to hold on to him.
I think it would be beneficial for you to receive some counseling. I think the right therapist can help you learn how to love and trust better. I think you should also communicate with your boyfriend. Let him know your fears. And if he is as great as you say he is, I believe he's going to tell you that he loves you and he'll never hurt you... and most importantly he'll show it. Just allow him that chance to prove it.
Best wishes to you!
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