A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't trust my boyfriend to go on a lads holiday with his 2 mates (one who is single and the other who is taken but has the mind of a single boy) because my boyfriend lied to me and cheated on me 2 years ago (hasn't done anything since). Am I allowed to tell him this or do I just wave him off goodbye and torture myself for a week? Please help :(
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Of course you're allowed to tell him, but there's a very high chance it'll cause an argument.
It's no wonder you're going to be a little wary as he's been unfaithful in the past and at least you'll be getting your concerns out in the open to him. If it will make you feel better then sure, tell him. Just be prepared for the possibilty of a backlash.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, matildasummer +, writes (24 April 2012):
Hello.Well, obviously the cheating monsters have raised there ugly head again. Not your fault though, it's only to be expected as you had your trust crushed 2 years ago in the worst possible way. I put it to you, If your worrying about this, how can you trust him for the duration of your relationship, say when he goes away again, or stays somewhere where you aren't there for work reasons etc.. You will be asking yourself the same question you posted just here. Like I said, it's only human you are worrying, but if you tell him you are worried, are you sure your not really just reminding him not to cheat on you when he goes away? If so, that is not healthy, it should just be an un spoken thing that he should be true to you no matter what company he is in "lads holiday" or not. That's the MINIMUM you should expect from another in a relationship, and you should NOT feel grateful that he comes back from his holiday having not cheated on you (even then, no doubt, you will still be wondering what if... Not your fault again, his)So, this really is down to you and how you want to play it. For, after two years clearly trust from you is understandably a big issue. You think you deserve to be "tortured" for a week, and the rest of your relationship? Would his assurance even help if you told him you felt? By all means do so.. Are his words enough?Please demand what you deserve. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 April 2012):
I think that you can talk to him about how you feel. His response in many ways will tell you what he's thinking. Either he'll listen and try to reassure you, or he won't give a damn. For honesty's sake, it's best at least to tell him you're worried after what happened.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 The trust was obviously broken two years ago, and I believe once it is gone you can never get it fully back, course you can tell him but he might not be to happy about it. But you need to be honest to yourself in a relationship so its best to be honest with him as well. However honey if there is no full trust in the relationship you should really be asking yourself can you see this working long term because it would not be fair to torture yourself every time he goes away or else to make him feel guilty for going.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 Are you ALLOWED?
of course you are allowed.
will it make him angry... it might
but if you need to tell him how you feel for your peace of mind it's a risk you should take.
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