A
female
age
26-29,
*issconfused2013
writes:My mom has been married to my dad for 19 years. A year ago I began to see her texting my Band Director/teacher just about everytime I saw her on he phone. I confronted her about it and they said they were ashamed of me thinking that and thy would never happen. I apoligized countless time. It made me fee like a fool. 6 months later began to since the same feeling I felt earlier in the year. She told me to update her iPhone because there was a new update. In doing this the update takes her passcode off her phone. A message pops up from "Jackie" it said "I love you so much baby, thinking of you" my stomach drops. I go look at the messages from jackie on her phone and the messages say stuff like I had a wonderful weekend just you and me. My mother had gone to the beach with her "friend" the weekend before. It mentioned them having sex and other sexual things. It made me sick to my stomach my mom would even think about doing something like that. I didn't say anything to her the next day just handed her her phone. Over time I've noticed her change his name to other girls names except adding a letter to know its him. One day she told me she was going shopping out of town and would be home at 5. So I went to my boyfriends house and we joy rode would some neighborhoods. We went on the road that my band director lives on and joked about what if we saw my mom. As we're heading back down his road I notice my moms car in the distance and It's her. So I text my moms friend saying my mom won't answer we phone what are y'all up too. And she said "We're about to go in a store we're having a blast!" so I ask her who was lying to me because I just saw my mom on scenic road. And she changes the subject and avoids the question. My mom tells me I need to come home and she yells at me at how I ruined her day with her friend. And I told her that I was gettin 2 stories and I was just tryin to figure out why she said she was at one place and not at the other any why her friend lied to me. She beat around the bush and in the end it was my fault. Some of my friends parents have started to notice something weird going on and started to confront her and he jumped them saying why would I know that. I thought this would have stopped by now after a year. What should I do? Confront her? How? An what about my poor dad who works so hard from morning to night as a surgeon. How can I end this! :(
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female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 I'd go with Aunty Susie and ask you to stay out of it, even if it hurts like hell. Don't tell your father. Let them resolve the issue between themselves.
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 This is really hard for you, but it is your parents business and not yours. You can't tell your father, because it's not your place to bring that kind of pain to him. You've already tried to talk to your mother, but she just lied to you. It is a horrible position for you to be in. If or when your father finds out - and he may already know!! - you can be there for him. I would stay right out of it if I were you. Keep coming back to talk to us here when you need support. xx
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 By stating if she's not going to own up, then you're going to tell him yourself.
Like you said, poor dad. Surely you just want this to end immediately? So it's for sure that there's a problem in the marriage, or else this wouldn't be happening in the first place.
The sooner it's out in the open, the sooner they can either work on the marriage or end it. But the longer it goes on, the more hurt everyone will end up.
Good luck.
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