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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?
Q. I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...
A. 7 September 2014: You're avoiding speaking to someone because of a picture on a phone...think that through.... (read in full...)
Is it arrogant to think that you're "too good" for someone?
Q. Is it okay to think that you're too good for someone (or that you want to reject them based on your high standards), provided you don't say it to anyone else? To merely think it as part of making a decision? Just found out a male acquaintance sec...
A. 28 August 2014: No not at all. I feel like this a lot of the time about girls I meet. I wouldn't read too much into it, sounds like you're doing the right thing.... (read in full...)
I want to be doubly sure that my behaviour around my baby sister is appropriate
Q. Okay so I am female and 13 years old, and she's still just a little one, six months old. I was wondering if it is appropriate to kiss your little sister on the cheek/forehead? We had a family member living with us years ago that attempted to molest ...
A. 20 July 2014: Very sorry to hear that you went through something so horrific. But of course it's fine to do what you're doing. You're just showing affection to your younger sibling, don't worry about it.... (read in full...)
I am my ex boyfriend's booty call .....
Q. My boyfriend split up with me in February, because "he didn't love me anymore and the spark wasn't there".. He has been sleeping with ALOT of girls, and drinking ALOT! I have been sleeping with him still, but now I'm starting to get jealous and have ...
A. 22 June 2014: Simple. Cut contact... (read in full...)
I turn down other guys for him but he doesn't ask me out!
Q. I'm 15 and there's a boy in my year who I really like and have done for about two years. I've never felt the same about anyone ever before - I look at him, even think about him, and I get butterflies; the first thing I do when I walk into a room is ...
A. 18 June 2014: Nervous or not, you need to TELL this guy you like him. He might like you also but he's not a mind reader. He may be shy and that why he hasn't asked you out.
Take a chance or you will just be going on like this forever.... (read in full...)
What does this comment mean?
Q. I work with this young married woman. As part of our job we deliver certain things around our place of work to different departments. Usually she walks behind me when we do this and she keeps slapping my bum. I once asked her what her husband woul...
A. 16 June 2014: She's flirting.
She's saying she doesn't care if you did it, her husband or no one else would care.
Maybe she's having problems with her husband at home and she's looking elsewhere for fulfillment. ... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for your boyfriend to hang out with other females one on one?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months now. He is 30 and I am 21. We are currently trialling living together (I have not officially moved all my stuff in). We have a bit of an issue about friends of the opposite sex. I don't really have ...
A. 16 June 2014: I think you need to take some time to decide whether you trust your boyfriend or not.
It is very possible to have strictly platonic friendships with the other sex. I used to have a female friend that I would class as a best friend and nothing ... (read in full...)
Have I lost Mr Right???
Q. Have I lost Mr Right?? Years ago I fell out with him and his family As he never told them the truth. Recently we have been meeting up and having intercourse and floor play. It's just as and when needed. He gets married next year. ...
A. 6 March 2014: Ahh, Mr Right. The guy that's literally doing everything he can to break the rules of being in a relationship, what a catch!
If you can't see that you're being used for sex then I don't know what else I can add...
People that cheat to 'be' wi... (read in full...)
My fiancee thinks I am putting my car before our wedding and moving into our own place! Is she being fair in her response?
Q. My 23 year old fiancée thinks I (26) am putting my car in front of our wedding and finding a place to live. My grandfather left me the car, granted it has sentimental value to me, being the only thing I really have left plus it is quite a rare car...
A. 5 March 2014: I think they're being very unreasonable to be fair, I'm not quite sure how they're saying you've got you're priorities wrong when you're making more of a contribution to the savings than she is.
If I were in you're shoes, I'd simply explain ... (read in full...)
I am waiting for the text that will ruin my weekend ...
Q. Hello. I will probably get the answer to this question either later on today or tomorrow from the source, but I was just curious to find out other people's opinions and whether or not other girls or guys out there have had a similar experience. I...
A. 3 March 2014: Sounds like you guys are hanging out as friends. Sitting on separate sofas isn't the type of behaviour of two people that could be potentially romantically involved.
I think you need to make a bit more of an effort to make it look like you actu... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly start texting me again?
Q. All of a sudden he started texting me again after being distant for months. Here is a little of history: We became friends very fast around this time last year (we had a lot in common) and we hang out a lot (I fell in love with him). Then one...
A. 3 March 2014: He has already told you that he doesn't love you and it doesn't sound like a relationship for you guys is likely at all.
If I were in your shoes I would cut contact because you like him more than a friend and he doesn't reciprocate that feeling.... (read in full...)
Shut my friends out because of my relationship
Q. Since getting with my boyfriend in August 2013, I've hardly seen my friends. I used to see them almost every weekend, we would go out and have drinks and have a laugh. I miss some of them alot but I'm too stubborn to admit I've been in the wrong as ...
A. 19 February 2014: Swallow your pride, apologise and make up.
I've had many friends who have done this, after a while it gets tiresome and in the case of my friends we just left them to their relationship and stopped making the effort.... (read in full...)
Partner says he wants to be with me forever but has "itches that need scratching" with other women.
Q. I've been with my partner for 5 years. We met at uni. It's a long distance relationship but we are planning in moving in together this year. We are both each other's first sexual partners. I was in a long term relationship before but never had in...
A. 19 February 2014: If he wants to have sex with other people, let him. Tell him not to come back while he's at it.
If this guy wanted to be with you for the rest of his life, thoughts like this wouldn't even cross his mind.... (read in full...)
I've only known him 2 days, he lives in another city and he's already my boyfriend?!
Q. So 2 days ago I met this guy at a church retreat and we really just clicked and he asked for my number so I gave it to him. By the way he lives in another city like an hour away from me. He texted me yesterday after we got home and we were talking ...
A. 17 February 2014: Yes, way too soon. Also way too young to be trying a distance relationship.... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting my BF to go a festival? He went last year and lied about having girls in his tent.
Q. My boyfriend of almost 3 years went to Leeds festival last year. He went with his single lad friends - I had no worries as I trusted him and only asked he called/text me when he could and no girls in his tent. It went pear shaped - I barely heard fr...
A. 17 February 2014: I don't think in terms of your request it's unreasonable, as it made you uncomfortable and you didn't like it. However you have to accept that he's an adult and can do what he likes to, so I don't think you could point blank say you're not going, ... (read in full...)
He wants it to be a date but I'm not sure!
Q. My friend has just asked me to go to his for pizza and moies and it started out as a friend thing but now he's told me he wants it to be like a date as he really likes me. I used to really quite fancy him but now I'm not sure and I don't want to ...
A. 6 December 2013: You say you're unsure, maybe give it a chance? If it doesn't change your opinion, then you know not to go down that route.... (read in full...)
How do I ask her out? Do I or don't I?
Q. Hello, I've got abit of a dilemma, their is a woman that lives down my street, we say hello when we see eachother and the other day, she saw me outside a house that I've recently bought. She said how its nice and I made abit of a cheeky comment ...
A. 6 December 2013: Give it a few weeks or so, try to build up a bit of a rapport first. If you're new to the area, ask if she knows anywhere nice to hang out and ask if she would like to join, something along those lines.
Good luck... (read in full...)
How many is too many?
Q. How many sexual partners is bad by the age of 18? I was 18 at the end of July and I've slept with 8 people and had additional sexual partners. I was just wondering is this bad already, or if not, at what point does it get bad?...
A. 6 December 2013: Sleep with as many people that you feel comfortable with.
If other people find out, they will be likely to judge you, but it's ultimately your life and you make your own decisions.
Therefore, do whatever feels right for you. That's what I do... (read in full...)
I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on.
Q. I never felt this bad in my life. This is the first time I ever truly loved a girl and the first time I've been genuinely heartbroken. We broke up because I felt she was being cold to me, plus I had no job and I guess the sex wasn't great and I ...
A. 1 December 2013: I think you just need to stop contacting her for the time being, let the dust settle, let her think what she wants to do, decide for yourself what you want to do and if it will be a good idea to get back together or not.
Don't try to rush things b... (read in full...)
I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on.
Q. I never felt this bad in my life. This is the first time I ever truly loved a girl and the first time I've been genuinely heartbroken. We broke up because I felt she was being cold to me, plus I had no job and I guess the sex wasn't great and I ...
A. 1 December 2013: Sounds like she's just messing you about now. In what way do you feel bad for her? Can you be a little more specific?
If she really wanted to get back with you, why wouldn't she do it straight away, what's stopping her?
If you're going to ... (read in full...)
I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on.
Q. I never felt this bad in my life. This is the first time I ever truly loved a girl and the first time I've been genuinely heartbroken. We broke up because I felt she was being cold to me, plus I had no job and I guess the sex wasn't great and I ...
A. 29 November 2013: Dude, what you did is weird as hell. You don't just go turning up at people's houses like that. Unfortunately we don't live in a fairytale and you can't expect something like that to work.
You know she is seeing another guy and she has told you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault?
Q. My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault? My boyfriend has Bipolar Disorder. He drinks a lot sometimes, and this annoys me, whether he is being annoying when he is drunk or not. Sometimes, he is hyper and happy when he is drunk...
A. 11 November 2013: Hmm, a drunkard that has decided to lay his hands on you, what a catch.
This guy sounds like a waster. He could very easily hit you again now he's shown this tendancy.
If I were you I wouldn't risk it, let this one go.... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm with women
Q. I've had trouble coming to an orgasm with women. I've been sexually active with two girls.. One we just did oral and the other I've had sex with. When the first girl gave me oral I had trouble reaching orgasm and finally after having to take control ...
A. 11 November 2013: All I can say is I'm in a similar position lol only 1 girl out of 12 has ever been able to make me ejaculate which I find baffling.
Only thing I could suggest is maybe trying to direct her a little more, tell her what you like and what feels go... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm with women
Q. I've had trouble coming to an orgasm with women. I've been sexually active with two girls.. One we just did oral and the other I've had sex with. When the first girl gave me oral I had trouble reaching orgasm and finally after having to take control ...
A. 11 November 2013: All I can say is I'm in a similar position lol only 1 girl out of 12 has ever been able to make me ejaculate which I find baffling.
Only thing I could suggest is maybe trying to direct her a little more, tell her what you like and what feels go... (read in full...)
Was this some sort of revenge for breaking up?
Q. Yesterday an ex-lover sent me a text message and I simply replied. Then he called me and we began to have a conversation about our past. My ex finally gave me a chance to explain my side of the story about how we ended up going our separate ways. I ...
A. 18 October 2013: I'm afraid, it's very clear that he is a cheater, or else this wouldn't have happened. He probably got in touch with you because you guys had a history and he probably knows that you still like him, therefore it'd be hard for you to say no to ... (read in full...)
Was this some sort of revenge for breaking up?
Q. Yesterday an ex-lover sent me a text message and I simply replied. Then he called me and we began to have a conversation about our past. My ex finally gave me a chance to explain my side of the story about how we ended up going our separate ways. I ...
A. 18 October 2013: He wanted to see you to sleep with you by the looks of things.
Wouldn't surprise me if he was back in touch to have sex again. In simple terms, he's using you.... (read in full...)
My experience with the first girl made me cold towards relationships.
Q. I have a pretty odd problem ATM lol I feel as though I'm incapable of getting 'feelings' for people. Maybe a fear of commitment if you will. Sooo, I've slept with 12 people in my life, I'd say 3 of them were people that I'd of been interest...
A. 22 September 2013: That was a good read Cerberus thank you for that, I'll give that a try and are what comes of it.... (read in full...)
My experience with the first girl made me cold towards relationships.
Q. I have a pretty odd problem ATM lol I feel as though I'm incapable of getting 'feelings' for people. Maybe a fear of commitment if you will. Sooo, I've slept with 12 people in my life, I'd say 3 of them were people that I'd of been interest...
A. 22 September 2013: Iamheretohelpyou that's the problem, I don't seem to have an 'interest' in anybody, whenever somebody speaks to me, I just can never be bothered to put any effort in and it's that kind of attitude that's just going to repel people and i need to snap ... (read in full...)
My experience with the first girl made me cold towards relationships.
Q. I have a pretty odd problem ATM lol I feel as though I'm incapable of getting 'feelings' for people. Maybe a fear of commitment if you will. Sooo, I've slept with 12 people in my life, I'd say 3 of them were people that I'd of been interest...
A. 21 September 2013: My mate has ***moved*** to uni lol. Not lows!... (read in full...)
Is he trying to make me jealous using facebook? Why?
Q. Ok this is really really Weird. This guy I have a major crush on tagged me in a picture on Facebook. The picture was of him, his friend and two girls! None of these people were tagged in the picture,he only said "just having fun right now" and ...
A. 21 August 2013: Yeah, sounds like he's trying to get your attention.... (read in full...)
Why do I find "softer" guys much more attractive?
Q. I'm a girl, and while I'm stereotypically feminine in a lot of ways (am always wearing dresses or skirts, into fashion and beauty, have a really girly voice), I also have a strong personality and am "masculine" in other ways. I love sports, lif...
A. 30 June 2013: I think that it would take a lot more effort on your part to get involved with a guy like that, because the alpha type of guy would usually do all the work for you. I'd say I find myself a little like that to be fair, I have a lot of mates that have ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl and then had sex with her sister too. Should I try to talk to the one I like, or would that make it worse?
Q. I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on: Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her o...
A. 27 May 2013: I'm gonna cut back the contact and just see what happens. Could just end up being an unecessary distraction that I don't need right now, so ill just go with the flow.
Thanks for the help.... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl and then had sex with her sister too. Should I try to talk to the one I like, or would that make it worse?
Q. I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on: Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her o...
A. 26 May 2013: Another thing that's annoying me a little about texting is that its hard to tell whether people text everyone in a certain way or whether its just you.
I'm only getting really short responses and making most of the conversation, but I've dealt wi... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl and then had sex with her sister too. Should I try to talk to the one I like, or would that make it worse?
Q. I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on: Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her o...
A. 26 May 2013: Thankyou for that input cerberus, that's how I was thinking about it in the first place, that I was never with girl no1, it was just nsa sex basically and now she also has a bf, I was just thinking that it can't really bother her as we don't even ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl and then had sex with her sister too. Should I try to talk to the one I like, or would that make it worse?
Q. I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on: Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her o...
A. 26 May 2013: Hahaha that made me laugh cindy. Yeah it was just one of those things that happen on a night out lol
We had both been drinking and there was obviously a physical attraction and it just went from there I suppose lol
We're still texting now, but... (read in full...)
I had sex with a girl and then had sex with her sister too. Should I try to talk to the one I like, or would that make it worse?
Q. I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on: Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her o...
A. 26 May 2013: Just to clarify, the first girl WAS NOT my girlfriend.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of people judging us over the age difference
Q. Im 21 and my boyfriend is 62. I am falling in love with him. When we go out Im a little nervous about people staring or asking questions. How do I get over this? He is the most amazing man I have ever met. Hes so patient, kind, and understanding. He ...
A. 7 May 2013: Living your life for other people and wasting your time wondering what people think about you is a boring way to live.
So don't do it. Do what you want and be happy.... (read in full...)
A nasty fight gave me 30 stitches but now boyfriend is kind to me. Should I leave him?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and I got into a nasty fight while we were drinking. I slapped at him and turned to run and then he pushed my face into a wall and split it wide open. I will have a permanent scar as it took 30 stitches to help me heal. My ...
A. 7 May 2013: If he isn't violent then why did he push your face into a wall?
Did you tell people why you really have that scar? or cover up?
Give him another chance if things are okay, but if he ever shows signs of violence or abuse again, then run and do ... (read in full...)
He wants anal but it hurts, and he says I'll get used to it!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we have tried anal sex in the past but I find it painful at times and other times it’s alright. My issue is he won’t stop asking me for anal sex even after I've had some tearing as a result ...
A. 5 May 2013: If I were in your shoes, to put it bluntly I'd tell him to fuck off.
What an inconsiderate piece of shite. You've been injured by it in the past yet he continues to pester and pester you.
Tell him to either put a sock in it or you will find so... (read in full...)
He takes too long to respond to my texts!
Q. I have this friend whom I've known for years. We go to the same school but we don't have any classes together this year. We used to talk all the time. But we got drifted apart. However, just recently, he asked me for my number again, saying how he ...
A. 4 May 2013: It depends, some people do this as a "method" to not look too keen.
I do a similar thing, but my job doesn't leave me with a whole lot of free time, so sometimes, people don't get a reply for a few days lol
But this method from him is already w... (read in full...)
Why is my ex civiil to me when she told my friend she doesn't even like me?
Q. i'm confused why the girl i used to date would make comment like this to my best mate about me. I thought things we're okay, so why she lied seems off to me. You decide... We had a bad break up, I was a douche to her I wont deny that. But she sa...
A. 28 April 2013: Simple, she has maturity.... (read in full...)
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