A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So basically it's been a long night, my boyfriend well now ex has decided to tell me that he cheated on me, obviously it has really hurt, but I need a way to get him back. I know I shouldn't sink down to his level but I'm going to do it anyway, he has hurt me too much. We were together for three years so it has been a long time to drag me along, so please don't give me any thing judgemental, I need to hurt him as much as he has hurt me. So any ideas? xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advise, I have sunk a little low, I did snap all the DVDs he got me and the ones he left here, also all his clothes have taken a wash in the rain in my garden, I have done this so he will see the clothes and realise that I don't ever want to see him again. But that's the only thing I have done, I went from loving him in the morning, to hating him in the evening and now not caring.
Thank you xxx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 No matter what kind of revenge or "get even" scheme you can cook up, he is not going to care. He will not be hurt like you were hurt.
All you can really do is thank your lucky star you found out and dumped him. And learn from the "mistake" that he was.
Live life, be good, feel good and do good and who knows maybe Karma will get your ex in some lovely well deserved manner.
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A
female
reader, Vixxxy +, writes (15 May 2012):
Lol, move on with ur life. The loser is not worth ur time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 May 2012):
 It's true he does not care if you are hurt. He does not care about anyone but himself... there is NOTHING you can do to get back at him and hurt him... it's sad but it's true.
I know you don't believe this but being angry and hurt feeds his ego... to BEST get back at him you need to hold you head high... pretend he does not exist... and LIVE YOUR LIFE LARGE LOUD and WELL... he will find out you did not wither away and die when he left you and it will eat at him more than if you make a fool of yourself TRYING to hurt him.
Ignoring him will hurt his ego way more than any physical hurt you could amass on him.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Hi,
Sorry you are so angry and in pain. I've been in your situation before, so you don't have to explain all the emotions you are feeling. Also, 3 years is a long time, and yeah text msg??? Ugh.... Pls punch his face? JK... Only makes things worst. It's going to take time until you feel back to yourself again, but I promise you it will get better, it's so stupid that it becomes funny and it will not matter. Like I said, I feel your pain, but just love your reaction and your honesty. Your reaction made a horrible situation kind of cute, and kind of made me smile reading your post. I am sure you'll be ok, you seem to be a strong, independent, smart girl. Someone here mentioned before, revenge it's not worth it, and like you said, don't lower yourself to his level. He just doens't deserve you.... Time will make this pain go away, and it's not so much about cheating ( which is so pathetic and shows his character), but it's more about betrayal... With time you will understand that things happens for a reason, and it's part of life to go through this kind of experiences. It only makes us better and stronger.
Best wishes and good luck!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 May 2012):
I second the anonymous user's idea: marry prince harry. Now that's payback ;-) But seriously, he's not worth all this anger and time spent.
Sure, you can place an anonymous call at the police to tell there are illegal weapons and drugs stored at his house, which means everything will be turned upside down, sofa's will be cut and schredded, etc.
But that would make you a terrible person, plus they can trace pretty much any call these days which means you'll probably get arrested. So short of doing that or any other deplorable option, you're better off improving your life and flaunting that to anyone who will pay attention.
Be honest, when you hear of a girl who tries to get back to her ex doing all those petty things, do you think "yeah girl, rock on!" or do you think: "man, that's pathetic." For me it would be the latter.
Plus, look on the bright side: you're rid of him now! Poor girl who gets stuck with him because you know what a POS he really is. So celebrate. Go out, call your friends, go to the movies, participate in a sport you never did before and do all the things you couldn't do while you were still in this relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012): "I need to hurt him as much as he has hurt me. So any ideas?"
Marry Prince Harry, and request the royal family attend the wedding wearing T-shirts emblazoned with "[Ex's name] cheated on the bride" in front and his phone number on the back.
That's as realistic a plan as I can concoct. As everyone else has pointed out, you can't hurt him because he does not care one micro-milli-whit about you. THAT'S WHY HE CHEATED!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (15 May 2012):
 The best thing you can do in this situation is move on without giving it two thoughts, that what will hurt him the most, showing him that you DON'T NEED HIM in your life and you can function fine without him.
By 'evening the score' you're just as bad as him and it just shows you're petty, I know it hurts but it's not going to get you anywhere and you could end up in trouble with the law if you do something stupid.
And at the end of the day, he's not going to care what you do, if he still cared about you, he wouldn't of cheated on you in the first place, so you're just going to make yourself look bad. And even if you do get him back, what then? You're not instantly going to be over it, you'll still be upset and hurt, so it just doesn't make sense and isn't worth it at all.
You might think it's 3 years wasted, but what if it happened 5 years down the line? 10? 15? Are you glad you got out now instead of then? Count your lucky stars that you have the chance to find someone who is special for you and be happy you've ditched another asshole out of your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings is I couldn't scream and shout at him, he told me over a text message, I mean he wasn't even going to tell me until I said that I was seeing a friend that night and not him, he was so cowardly I really just want time to be able to really scream and shout xxx
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Hurt him by moving on, living your life and not looking back... Not only is it the high road, its also going to have the most impact on him when he realizes how he fucked up and lost such an awesome, independent woman.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (15 May 2012):
 I can understand this news came as a terrible shock to you and you are very hurt by your now ex-boyfriend's behavior.
I cannot, however, and will not give you any ideas as to how to get revenge. To do that is, as you acknowledge, stooping to his level. It's unworthy of you. Not only that, but it won't really satisfy you, you know. You'll still be angry and upset. You can add to that some wondering as to what HE might do to you to get you back.
If you yelled at him, gave him a piece of your mind when he told you he'd cheated, let that be the end of it. From here on out,if you happen to run into him at a pub, or disco, or in the street, at a party with friends, just ignore him. I mean, you can give him an icy stare, and then act as if he's not even in the room. If he tries to phone or text you, either don't respond, OR the first time he calls tell him you do not want to hear from him again, period. Give him a moment to digest what you said, then hang up.
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (15 May 2012):
 You can't hurt him because you're the only one that cares. He obviously didn't care or love you and that is why he cheated on you. How can you hurt him as much as he hurt you? You're not together, he is not in love, and he will never be emotionally and mentally invested in your relationship like you were. When you don't care, or care less it's impossible to get back at someone in the way you imagine.
The fact is you can't get back at him emotionally. You can only damage him physically and you can damage his property. Either option would be not only be illegal, but also stupid. You can get sued, face fines and jail time. In the end, you're still not devastating him in the way he did a number on you. In the end, you lose, no matter what.
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