A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years dumped me 2 months ago when I was out of town. He didn't give me a reason other than "our relationship ran its course". It hurt so much because (1) it was completely out of the blue (2) he didn't give me a strong reason (3) I was out of town because one of my family members was ill, so I really needed his support at the time. Since that conversation, I have had absolutely no contact with him. This afternoon, I check my phone and I notice that there's a missed call from him and a text message that reads: "Hey I simply called to check on you. I hope all is well. If you don't respond, I understand."I've waited every single minute for every day for the past 2 months for this moment. But after seeing his message, I broke down and was so upset because it reminded me of all the pain that I went through earlier. I'm still not completely over him, but at the same time I'm still so hurt. I haven't responded to him at all so far. Can someone please translate what his message means? And possibly what are his intentions?
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 This is a classic story for post break-ups. But I really admire you for the courage and the bravery to not contact your ex after he dropped the bomb to quit on your relationship when you needed him most. Both aunts who posted earlier are right. That's why if I were you, to just relax and don't get yourself too overwhelmed by this sudden contact from your ex. That's usually how they react when they realize that you seem to be dealing with the break-up well. Believe me, the more you try to contact them, the more they know you are desperate. The more silent you are, the more you become a person who has respected his decision and that makes you a stronger person inside and to him as well. So he broke up with you, it's his loss. It's not really that a bad idea to reply to his message but what good will it do to you? You are moving on now. The wisest thing is to ignore it.I have seen my friends and I as well have been with the same situation you are now, but most of the time, trying to communicate again with an ex starting with a hello leads to more heartbreaking consequences. If I could go back, I would ignore my ex. It would have saved me from another year of suffering.Your break-up was not fair to you, take this as a sign of the future if you start replying to him again. I would say, ignore it for now and don't let it disrupt your current life now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): His intentions could be good, he might just want to check on you. From experiences that my friends have had, when their guy dumped them unexpected, they were a mess but some didn't contact and some did. THe ones who didn't, the guy evenutally got in contact because he didn't hear from her again, where as the others, contacted the guy a bit still, and he got fed up. A part of him would have expected to hear from you after he broke it off. It is good you didn't.
If you are not over him, i would not respond.
It'll just bring up memories, and if he responds, and then you respond could make it even harder for you. While his intentions may be good, he might be curious to see how you are - he did break it off when you were away and out of the blue, which was pretty cold.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Pretty simple, he's seeing how you're getting on with the break up. You were an item, he probably still cares for you even if it's only a small amount and wants to see that you're doing okay. Doesn't seem like there's any malice behind it due to the 'if you don't respond, I understand' line.
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