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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Why is my ex civiil to me when she told my friend she doesn't even like me?
Q. i'm confused why the girl i used to date would make comment like this to my best mate about me. I thought things we're okay, so why she lied seems off to me. You decide... We had a bad break up, I was a douche to her I wont deny that. But she sa...
A. 28 April 2013: Simple, she has maturity.... (read in full...)
I miss her a lot. Could time have healed the bad feelings from the past? Or only made things worse?
Q. My best friend (I'll call her B) from uni and I fell out over 5 years ago. It's a long story, but the outline of it was that B's ex started going out with another of my friends (call her C) and because of that B expected me to stop being friends ...
A. 20 April 2013: I'd give it a try, a similar thing happened with my best mate of about 7 years and we don't speak anymore and sometimes I miss him and wonder what he's up to as well.
At least if you make the effort and she isn't having any of it then she's be... (read in full...)
What is vanilla sex?
Q. Hi What does people consider "vanilla sex"? How does mostly practise it and do you find it unattractive or not excited?...
A. 31 March 2013: Vanilla sex is another way of saying something is plain or boring.... (read in full...)
I have needs too, and they are not being met!
Q. BACKGROUND: I have been with my BF for over a year now. We don't live together yet, but we see each other at least 3 times a week. Every time we see each other, I give him at least 1 blow-job, some times even 2. A quadruple amputee could count ho...
A. 17 March 2013: A crazy thing called communication! Tell him exactly what you've just told us. He's being selfish in bed and you don't like it, so tell him. As far as he's concerned, everything is going fine, when it's not.... (read in full...)
I should marry him, yes? or marry him not?
Q. Should I marry my boyfriend? Reasons for I love him and know he loves me He is willing to take on my thirteen year old daughter He loves my family He cooks well, haha He loves my cooking He is warm and loving in his ways generally Reasons ...
A. 17 March 2013: If you're even questioning it, deep down I think you know the answer yourself. ... (read in full...)
Why would my friends with benefits ignore me?
Q. Hi iv been sleeping with a guy I know for about two years now. I normally go to his on a weekend say after a night out and he'll take me home in the morning. We get on really well and have a laugh we both know its just fun and I'm happy with that.if ...
A. 17 January 2013: Sounds like he was hinting that he wants to be more than a FWB and when you didn't catch his drift he maybe was a little annoyed by it and decided to start playing these 'mind games' your friend described... (read in full...)
Does my best friend love me back or not?
Q. Well, I'm really desperate right now and I could really use your help, so thanks to everyone who will take time to read and answer me. I've been best friends with this really handsome hot guy for two years now. In time, I started falling for him,...
A. 17 January 2013: lol I've never had a girlfriend before and I've made the move handfuls of times and been rejected , it happens.
I wouldn't make this guy wait too long. What if he's thinking 'Hmmm I couldn't make it any clearer to this girl that I like her, I m... (read in full...)
Was this 'picking someone up at a bar', or not?
Q. So I just want to know if this is considered picking up a guy from a bar? There is a guy I have met but don't know too well. He is a friend of a friend. I have met him before, sat on the same table and had dinner. On my friend's birthday I hook...
A. 13 January 2013: Picking up someone from the bar, is when it's a complete random, so no, this isn't a case of that.... (read in full...)
He says he has a soft spot for me. But what does that mean for us now? What is a soft spot?
Q. So my guy best friend admitted how he truely felt about me on new years eve. He said that he loved me. Once that was out there it all came pouring out, like everything he loved about me. I love him to pieces but as a friend. Since then none have us...
A. 5 January 2013: He wants to be more than friends, simple as that.
He told you that he loves you.... (read in full...)
Why is she so curious about who is calling my phone?
Q. what does it mean when my GF is always wanting to know who is call my phone before i can even pull out of my pocket to see for myself? ...
A. 5 January 2013: Maybe she is a bit insecure?... (read in full...)
Is 19 too young to go on a dating site?
Q. Do you think 19 is too young to go on dating site, i have no luck with guys, its make me wondering if 19 is too young, my friends have profile and keeps telling me to join? i don't want to mention this to her since its slightly embarrassing ...
A. 5 January 2013: The age to sign up is 18 right? So I'd say anything below 18 is too young.... (read in full...)
Guys: Do you judge girls by their shape and appearance?
Q. I'm so horny lately... I'm 19 and never had boyfriend before which i believe its my weight, i've always been over weight as child and i started doing gym recently and lost 6kg but need to loose 50 more !! but i can't wait untill i get the perfect ...
A. 5 January 2013: I'd think everybody would be lying if they said they weren't first attracted to someone by looks. I wouldn't call it 'judging' someone though.
If somebody is good looking but has a shitty personality, then they're going to struggle to keep tha... (read in full...)
Is he scared of what he felt? Or did he change his mind about being with me? And why would he say what he said on Facebook?
Q. I apologize in advance, this is going to be quite a read, but to fully understand the situation I feel as though I need to include all of this. Ok, it starts out about 2 years ago. I was working at a restaurant waiting tables and we got a new empl...
A. 5 January 2013: I think you really need to have a sit down talk with this guy, nobody here can give you the reason that he cut contact with you I'm afraid as he is the only one that can explain his thought process.
It's possible that he could've just been fee... (read in full...)
Why will my girlfriend not stop going on dating sites?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend just short of two years. She has been going on dating sites like it`s a habit for at least the past year. She has lied and lied about it, but she surely knows that I know different. We have been broke up over Christmas ...
A. 5 January 2013: I answered the same question as this not so long ago, that's basically the same as you going out to a bar and starting going around chatting to different women, so it's pretty obvious that she's looking to cheat, I mean aren't dating sites created ... (read in full...)
Does my best friend love me back or not?
Q. Well, I'm really desperate right now and I could really use your help, so thanks to everyone who will take time to read and answer me. I've been best friends with this really handsome hot guy for two years now. In time, I started falling for him,...
A. 3 January 2013: I have a crazy idea here, but please, bare with me on this one! It's called, talking!
It's pretty simple, you say 'Hey x, we've known each other for a long time now and Ive began to develop feelings for you and Id like to take our relation... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is overly friendly with another girl, now he's travelling miles away to visit her and has booked a double room......is he cheating?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I'm in a bit of a predicament with my partner right now and I have no idea what to do. We have been dating for five months, almost six, I really like this guy and we spend loads of time together but he met a girl at a festiv...
A. 3 January 2013: What the hell? This sounds ridiculous.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that he's feeding you a line saying that he is going down with his mate and GF just so you think that there's no way that something can be going on.
This just doe... (read in full...)
How can I bring my girlfriend to orgasm without intercourse?
Q. How should i give orgasm to my girl friend? we are in relationship but we didn't made sex. we just work on activities like handjob,fingering, kissing etc... i want to please her as much as i can. please help me.......
A. 2 January 2013: As jersey's classiest said and also when you're fingering use your finger as if you were telling someone to come towards you you can still stimulate the clitoris with oral, or just use your thumb if that's easier for you.
Below is a descript... (read in full...)
I lied to my GF about how old I was when I lost my virginity. Should I tell her the truth?
Q. Basically me and this girl have been having sex and now are getting more serious. She asked me when i lost my virginity and because I was embarrassed i lied and said when I was 19 when really i had lost my virginity at the age of 23 with my ex girlf...
A. 2 January 2013: I don't think you should mention it, it doesn't really affect the relationship IMO. Sure you feel bad about it, but if you bring it up then it may cause a problem like trust issues. It sounds pretty menial and if things are going good, then I ... (read in full...)
My online love interest said we weren't just going to be bed buddies!
Q. Hello everyone, I started internet dating and first person I spoke to was really nice, we spoke for a long time and he said wasn't looking for just bed buddy but a relationship. Ended up sleeping together, thing is he seems to be treating me l...
A. 2 January 2013: He fed you a line that you fell for. Just because he is passionate during sex doesn't mean that it is anything deeper than JUST sex. Some people are just that way inclined.
... (read in full...)
How do I politely say "no" to men I'm not interested in on an online dating site?
Q. i got a dilemma, i signed up for a dating website not so long ago. and over all it is fine, what I am finding harder than i though, is replying to messages of men i am not interested in, i try to turn them down as politely as i can but there is...
A. 29 December 2012: If I were you, I'd just ignore the messages. That will get the point across fine.... (read in full...)
How can I prevent the guy friend always being the tag-along friend whenever we plan to go out or do anything? What can I do?
Q. Hi guys, I hope somebody can help me with a small problem, its short and simple really but the solution is more difficult. I have recently met a beautiful man, who I have started to like, not a lot but want to just keep hanging out etc and see what...
A. 28 December 2012: Umm, pretty simple. Why don't you just ask this guy you like if he wants to go on a date?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is texting him in the middle of the night asking about me. I think she's trying to take him away!
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we are currently living together in my house. Neither of us text hardly anyone ever. We're never even on our phones while we're together. The other night I woke up randomly which I never ...
A. 28 December 2012: If it's making you uncomfortable, you need to tell him. I think it's pretty inappropriate for her to be asking him those kind of things.
Does he reply to these messages? If so, what does he say?
He should be happy to stop texting her, if ... (read in full...)
Does grammar matter when people communicate today? Or is it a lost cause? What's your pet grammar issue?
Q. First off I will admit it: sometimes I mis-spell words. And another thing, sometimes when I'm in a hurry I abbreviate some words. And when I was at University I used to have the best set of abbreviations in Contract Law. If I needed to refer to ...
A. 28 December 2012: It kills me a little inside when I see people get your/you're mixed up.
I can understand if it's a young person trying to use it, but when I see it from people of a similar age, or even older, it really grinds my gears haha.
I always try to ty... (read in full...)
We meet up, have sex and then he doesn't call! Whats it all about?
Q. I am in a dilemma here. I met a guy in September at a party, both drunk. We kissed and talked. I bumped into him at a bar 2 weeks later and we just went straight home and jumped into bed. 3 weeks later we meet again at a party and home again. We ...
A. 28 December 2012: If you have sex with someone before a relationship, I personally think that it really lowers your 'value' so to speak.
I agree with IAmHereToHelpYou that you gave up the prize from just a casual meeting and now he knows that you have sexual f... (read in full...)
Do I try anal sex or not?
Q. My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me but I just don't know about trying it. Do I let him have his way or what? and anyone that has tried it can you please explain it like what do you have to do and how does it feel? I only really care about th...
A. 28 December 2012: It came across a little harsh, I apologise if it seemed that way. It was of course, ultimately your choice. I don't know why I brought it up to be quite honest.... (read in full...)
How can I pursue my cute neighbor?
Q. I've developed a little crush on one of my next door neighbors. I am in my early twenties and he's in his late twenties. Occasionally, I see him in front of his house and we always say hello and have the casual conversation but it never goes ...
A. 28 December 2012: Even if he doesn't see you in that way, I'm sure you can remain civil as neighbours lol
Good luck... (read in full...)
How can I pursue my cute neighbor?
Q. I've developed a little crush on one of my next door neighbors. I am in my early twenties and he's in his late twenties. Occasionally, I see him in front of his house and we always say hello and have the casual conversation but it never goes ...
A. 27 December 2012: This is the 21st century, you can ask a guy out you know lol
Ask him if he'd like to go out for a coffee or a drink sometime, see where it goes.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Do I try anal sex or not?
Q. My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me but I just don't know about trying it. Do I let him have his way or what? and anyone that has tried it can you please explain it like what do you have to do and how does it feel? I only really care about th...
A. 27 December 2012: I don't totally agree with that, I for one, always prefer to get my problems off my chest and talk them over with someone, I've never been one to keep things bottled up.
I of course don't cover the entire male population, so I imagine some wil... (read in full...)
Do I try anal sex or not?
Q. My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me but I just don't know about trying it. Do I let him have his way or what? and anyone that has tried it can you please explain it like what do you have to do and how does it feel? I only really care about th...
A. 27 December 2012: Why did you even bother to ask us for advice if you ignored what we all said anyway?... (read in full...)
Everyone I know is married, has babies or is in a settled relationship except me! Am I behind and missing out?
Q. Hi, I'm having a little age crisis I guess haha. I've just turned 20, and I don't have one friend that doesn't have a baby or isn't married. Everyone I knew from school is married, had a baby or has been with the same guy/girl for a couple of years. ...
A. 26 December 2012: WHAT!?!?! Seriously?? That sounds absolutely bonkers to me.
I'm 21 and couldn't imagine anything worse right now than having a child or being in a relationship! If you don't want that, then DO NOT do it! Simple.
I honestly can't believe yo... (read in full...)
I'm too insecure about my body to get physically intimate with my boyfriend. Any suggestions?
Q. So, I'm really insecure about my body to the point where I mostly wear dark colours, slouchy materials in clothing etc. I have my moments when I wear form fitting pieces and I get a lot of compliments but I never take it seriously. Anyway, back on ...
A. 26 December 2012: Believe me, if your BF is telling you this, he means it. Why else would he be with you?
And besides, I don't think any guy will complain what a girl looks like when they're naked in front of them lol
Just relax! ... (read in full...)
I'd like to meet a virgin woman but where and how can I do this?
Q. So after coming on this site off and on every few months for nearly 4 years now (mostly for affirmation that I wasn't the only soul in my predicament), I have finally decided to post about my situation and seek help. So anyway, my story is similar...
A. 26 December 2012: I think it's pretty commendable that you value your first sexual experience to be a 'special' one. There will be virgin women out there who feel the same as you, but in this day and age, like you stated, it could be pretty hard to find.
I think ju... (read in full...)
Do I try anal sex or not?
Q. My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me but I just don't know about trying it. Do I let him have his way or what? and anyone that has tried it can you please explain it like what do you have to do and how does it feel? I only really care about th...
A. 26 December 2012: You do only what you're comfortable to do. He should respect your boundaries and not pressure you into anything that you don't want to do.... (read in full...)
My B/f doesn't last very long in bed
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about a month now and it doesn't last very long. We do some foreplay but almost as soon as he's inside me he has to cum. We've tried taking breaks, I usually don't give him oral before we have sex beca...
A. 26 December 2012: I don't agree with CMMP's view on porn and quick ejaculation. I have watched a lot of porn in my time, but have NEVER ejaculated in less than 30 minutes of intercourse and that's including foreplay. Even the first time I had sex it lasted about 45 ... (read in full...)
Shall I trust him or not? My friends say he only sees girls for a short time and then dumps them. I don't want to be hurt.
Q. Just recently, one of my friends invited this guy to a movie with me and a couple of friends. He seemed really nice, and we'd been texting each other quite a bit. He then randomly told me he liked me, just completly out of the blue. I have to sa...
A. 26 December 2012: One thing that I forgot to mention, you said you're desperate for a BF. Just because he's the first person to show you a bit of interest, DO NOT rush into anything that you may later regret!... (read in full...)
Shall I trust him or not? My friends say he only sees girls for a short time and then dumps them. I don't want to be hurt.
Q. Just recently, one of my friends invited this guy to a movie with me and a couple of friends. He seemed really nice, and we'd been texting each other quite a bit. He then randomly told me he liked me, just completly out of the blue. I have to sa...
A. 26 December 2012: Are you looking for a 3 day relationship? If this is all he's ever done, which actually sounds extremely bizarre, then go right ahead.
The only thing I can think of for why he would be interested in someone for such a short amount of time is if he... (read in full...)
Why is this guy ignoring me? We had a great 3 days together. I know he has a Gf.
Q. I had a great time with a guy for 3 continous days. It wasn't supposed to be a date but we met for a lunch at 1pm....and the date ended up 3am! It was not supposed to be a date as he was leaving the country and he already has a girlfriend. How...
A. 26 December 2012: Couple of things about this one:
If a guy is willing to cheat, why would you want to be with him? He could just as easily cheat on you...
If you're being bedded by a guy after knowing him for 3 days, you're not relationship material. Being ... (read in full...)
FWB offends me. Is FWB just a cheap way to get easy sex instead of paying a sex worker? Does FWB stand for anything else other than sex?
Q. FWB I don't really like this game because what if the other person start to have feelings? To me it seems to be basically about money. Where does one draw the line and say this is not what I want? I really think FWB is a trade off for free sex. I c...
A. 26 December 2012: How does money even come into it?
It's 2 people having sex with each other without the commitment. Simple.... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my boyfriend or go with the friend that I am wildly attracted to?
Q. I had been friends with this guy J for 2-3 years. We were always attached to other people and were always just friends. J is leaving for another state so we met up for lunch, the first time ever we met one on one and the chemistry was so ...
A. 26 December 2012: You clearly don't love your current boyfriend and have already thought about breaking up with him, so why would you go on to marry him? Especially when you describe that life as 'boring'.
Marriage isn't a game, it's a 'lifelong' commitme... (read in full...)
I am having panic attacks after having oral sex. Is this normal?
Q. A night or so ago, my husband and I were getting ready for bed and started fooling around. This is normal, except we decided to try something new this time. Neither of us had participated in oral before so we figured it might be fun. Since then ...
A. 26 December 2012: When is having a panic attack full stop, normal?
It's the first time that you did it, did it go well? Or not? Maybe you feel embarrassed about how you performed?
I'm sure over time you will get used to the act and it will become less of a... (read in full...)
Was he over the top to break up over this after 2 years together? Was he looking for an excuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in April of this year. He had found out I was on dating sites again. I did not want to meet anyone, because I was in love with him. I used to go on dating sites to tease the guys on them and had no intention of meet...
A. 24 December 2012: If I found my GF on dating websites even once she would be out the door, never mind numerous times.
Don't be so cheeky to think he was 'looking' for an excuse, you broke his trust by doing something stupid, take responsibility for your actions ... (read in full...)
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