Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
I constantly feel jealous about his exes!
Q. Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...
A. 4 October 2017: Then break up with him.
If he doesn't see an issue with it and you do then what are you expecting to happen?
I must admit I feel quite sorry for your BF.... (read in full...)
I constantly feel jealous about his exes!
Q. Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...
A. 4 October 2017: Seriously you need to get a grip.
You're acting about 12 years old. I think you need professional help because you're not going to get over this on your own.
I think the best course of action is to break up, get the help you need and work on... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps asking to meet my former best friend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months. We met through a social group in which we both joined around the same time, and that group is my main circle of friends. I do not keep in touch regularly with anyone else. I have friends whom I call ...
A. 3 October 2017: Very odd behaviour.
I think his reluctance to accept a no is quite alarming. I'd be firm and tell him that you no longer wish to entertain this conversation. She isn't s part of your life anymore and you find the persistence annoying.... (read in full...)
I constantly feel jealous about his exes!
Q. Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...
A. 2 October 2017: The only person who can get over this is you and if you don't, believe me you will become another of his exes.
There's only so much a guy can take of being made feel guilty because he had a life before you.
If he didn't want to be with you then... (read in full...)
He's bragged about cheating on me behind my back but denies it when I confront him!
Q. Have been told by strangers, friends and family that my boyfriend of twenty years has bragged about cheating on me every chance he gets when he's working out of town. He actually butt dialed me during one of his bragging sessions to a friend and I ...
A. 2 October 2017: Why would he own up to it?
How much more proof do you need than hearing it come out of his own mouth? And you've been dating for 20 years?
Come on, this relationship sounds ridiculous.... (read in full...)
Why can a woman reject sex but if her boyfriend does it, it's the worst thing ever?
Q. Why does a female get so offended when you reject her from any pleasure? I been in relationship nearly 4 / 5 years. She doesn’t have same sex drive as me, she felt up for it once in our week long holiday, but because I’m so used to not having it she ...
A. 2 October 2017: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-am-i-stuck-with-the-girl-that.html
Im pretty sure this is you and you didn't like the answers you received so you're posting again hoping for different.
Look, you guys aren't sexually compatible. Are ... (read in full...)
How do I control these erections I get so easily?
Q. Hello everyone! I've got sort of an awkward issue, and I'm going to try to make this brief. I get erections incredibly easily and it's starting to annoy me. Especially around my girlfriend. I'm a very physical person, it's how I show affection, ...
A. 30 September 2017: I'm almost 26 and still have this.
Be happy you can get it up man, could be much worse. I'm sure your GF is happy that you find her sexually attractive.... (read in full...)
How to forget about your ex
Q. Hi me and my ex boyfriend resently break up two months ago we were together from last year January we were on and off .. we broke up four times because people told him things I never said about him and he was believing them he block me on everything ...
A. 30 September 2017: Stop being so defensive against people who are trying to HELP YOU.
You do sound quite immature from your replies as you're just lashing straight out when it's not needed. Take it what is being said and accept it.
You want to know how to move... (read in full...)
We want different things in life ... should I just let it go?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. I’m 20 and he’s 22 so we’re still pretty young and we don’t plan on getting married or having kids any time soon. Especially since we’ve only been together for 2 years. But we have com...
A. 29 September 2017: Break up, you're wasting your time.
... (read in full...)
If she wasn't interested why did she bother to text me?
Q. Hello, Before I start I am a gay girl, 24 years old. So I went on a night out on Friday with a group of people, and got very drunk. We all ended hooking up with someone (everyone else is straight) and we went out until about 6am. The girl...
A. 27 September 2017: Sounds like she wanted to sleep with you for the night and nothing more. When she sobered up she realised she wasn't that into you and cut the contact.
She's not interested, forgot about her.... (read in full...)
Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?
Q. I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...
A. 27 September 2017: Have you had a serious, calm conversation about it?
Or just shouting in the heat of the moment when she won't do something? If you're sexually incompatible what else can you do besides suck it up or find someone else?
Try a conversation and... (read in full...)
Our 'friends with benefits' situation seems to be going fine, but she showed one strange sign?
Q. Me and my friend tried having sex twice. We talked about the possibility of it happening for ages and it seems to be working out. A lot of people are skeptical about a FWB type thing but it feels right for us. There has been no awkwardness between ...
A. 26 September 2017: I really don't see how you could think this means she has deep feelings for you.
Females enjoy their breasts being touched the same as males enjoy their penis being touched. You're thinking way too deeply into it.... (read in full...)
Its been over with my boyfriend, I'm pregnant by someone else but I'm afraid if I end things he will try and kill himself
Q. I've been trying to end my relationship for the last 8 months without feeling a massive amount of guilt. The situation I'm in has became incredibly messy and I just feel very broken by what has happened over this passed year. I've been with...
A. 26 September 2017: That is not for you to worry about.
Yes it's not a very nice thought, but are you going to live with him forever because he's holding that above your head? Pack your stuff, move out and inform his parents or friends of the threats that he's mak... (read in full...)
Hard to love a man's children like my own.
Q. I've been dating a man for 7 months. I have no children, he has 2 daughters ages 9 and 7. He doesn't see them very often (once a week) on the weekends. I have spent almost every weekend with him and when he gets them. They are great kids don't get ...
A. 26 September 2017: How are you compatible if you want different things?
This clearly means a lot to you and this man will not give it to you. What else can you do besides break up and find a man that wants a child?... (read in full...)
I'm very confused about our relationship and what we are to each other, if anything
Q. We are friends for 4-5 years. He is younger then me and he likes girls always have lot of different girls mostly one night stand and also few relationships for maximum 4month. He always goes out with me Im like his homeboy and also bro however I ...
A. 25 September 2017: I agree with Honeypie.
More often than not, if a guy is interested in pursuing you romantically he will do, how else would he know whether you like him back or not? Therefore what I think he's doing is treating you as a friend, because that's a... (read in full...)
How can I last longer the first time?
Q. I just got into a relationship, its been quite a few months in. We are about to hit 3rd base and this is my first time someone will give me a handjob or even a blowjob. I don't think I can last for more than 30 seconds. Any tips on how to last ...
A. 24 September 2017: I wouldn't do anything if I were you. The more you build it up in your head and put pressure on yourself will end up affecting your performance.
If you cum quick, so what? It's your first time. You may even last a good while, who knows?
Just re... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me because of my past!
Q. Hello, My question is...is there any hope for a future with my ex-boyfriend? We dated for six months and he always suffered from retrograde jealousy for me. During this time I foolishly, casually mentioned my exes, not fully grasping what to...
A. 24 September 2017: Wasting your time completely.
He will never get over this without some kind of therapy and he hasn't taken the initiative to seek out the help he needs so he can't be that serious about you guys having a future together.
Block and delete him a... (read in full...)
He's rejected me but is open to having sex. I'm upset but tempted to, since I'll be bored and alone in his city.
Q. I apologize in advance...this is a long one! I met a guy on Tinder back in March of this year. I was going to be in San Francisco for a few days and wanted to meet people while there so I changed my location to SF and started talking to him. ...
A. 21 September 2017: You're only there for 4 days, surely you can enjoy the place on your own without having to devalue yourself to someone who only wants you for sex.... (read in full...)
What should I do about this date with a man who suffers from PTSD?
Q. This is quite a lot to read but theres a lot of detail to it. ive been trying online dating for a while had a few dates but nothing special yet. A guy messaged me and we got chatting i could tell the relief in him that i wasnt stuck up and and ...
A. 21 September 2017: I wouldn't even be thinking about the date, I'd be blocking this guy and moving on.
You don't know whether you're coming or going with him. I don't think it's his PTSD that's making him ignore you, I just think he's a messer.
Move past him... (read in full...)
Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?
Q. My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...
A. 21 September 2017: Seriously?
You dump her immediately. Do you really value yourself that little that you're willing to wait to see whether your GF decides if she likes someone else more than you?
Where's your self respect? Tell her sure, go ahead and see if... (read in full...)
Huge crush on the guy who works in the same building but I don't think he even knows that I exist!
Q. Hello, there is a guy that works in a same building with me and I have a huge crush on me. When ever I see him I feel Goosebumps and I smile alone like a crazy women. Problem is I haven't even said a word to him and probably he hasn't even notice my ...
A. 20 September 2017: You're asking for drama by pursuing a workplace romance.
What happens if things don't work out and you have to see each other everyday? I wouldn't recommend a workplace relationship to anybody, it's supposed to be a professional environm... (read in full...)
I was drunk and slapped my boyfriend across the face!
Q. I feel really bad admitting this but i have been with my partner five months and i think the world of him. But the other evening we was drinking and to the point where i literally don't remember what was said. But he went into the kitchen and when i ...
A. 20 September 2017: Try not drinking until you don't know what you're doing?... (read in full...)
I thought things were progressing well so why does she seemed to have slowed down?
Q. A few days ago I was on cloud nine. I had finally gone out with a great girl after a couple weeks of chatting on Facebook since we were both moving back to our hometown. We clicked really well while we were chatting, she was very responsive and f...
A. 20 September 2017: Are the responses consistently slow? Or just during the day?
If they've slowed down full stop, personally I'd just drop the conversation altogether and give her chance to reach out and start the conversation back up. If she doesn't then you have... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 19 September 2017: It hurts to hear man but it will help you get over it knowing the truth.
I've been there, trust me.... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 19 September 2017: Your husband sounds like a dickhead to be quite honest.
I'd run from this one and wouldn't look back. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, seems like his daughter is taking after him.... (read in full...)
We're already close. Do you think he is ready to move on and try something with me?
Q. Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men. I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and st...
A. 19 September 2017: Why do this to yourself?
Surely there's other people you can speak to? He's shown his sleazy nature and I can't imagine it stopping. The feelings you have for him are likely to come back when you're seeing each other in person again.
What yo... (read in full...)
I want to marry my cousin's grand daughter.
Q. My aunt has a son.That would make him and I first cousins. My first cousin has 3 daughters. Lets say the oldest girl is named Tasha.Lets go a bit further and say Tasha has 2 daughters.One name Mary and the other one named Sue.Is it wrong for me to ...
A. 18 September 2017: Yes, it's extremely odd.
Why would you even think she's interested?
1. You're related
2. She's half your age
Do you think your family would welcome your wishes of trying to marry a relation?
Come on man, you're 50 years old. Use your b... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene!
Q. My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene. Her teeth are yellowish and her breath smells bad.I love her but everytime I wish to express it with a kiss I hold back. How do I bring this up with her?...
A. 18 September 2017: Agreed, honesty is the best policy.
She doesn't think there's a problem if you don't tell her.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wanted an open relationship but I can't cope with it.
Q. I'm struggling with the pain and shock involved in starting an open relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months. Recently we agreed to open the relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people. She's the one wh...
A. 18 September 2017: Why are putting yourself through this? Seriously?
What are you gaining from this? You clearly don't want this to happen so why are you allowing it to and going along with it? This girl is not the one for you.
You tried and failed to accept... (read in full...)
The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?
Q. My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...
A. 18 September 2017: I think this issue is a lot deeper than the sex.
He sounds like a baby to be quite honest, spending most of his time sulking about not getting his own way. I think it sounds like you have your head screwed on your shoulders tbf that you can't se... (read in full...)
Should I stay .... or maybe I should go
Q. Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...
A. 17 September 2017: I'd take his offer up, move out and leave him.
Sounds like a complete waste of time.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't speak to me. What did I do wrong?
Q. I'm with my current boyfriend for about 2 years and yest was hia bday. He thinks bdays are overrated, but I still got him gift card and since he didn't want cake, got him a small cake and went to see him. I was hungry by the time I reached his ...
A. 17 September 2017: I'm with aunty bim bim.
You literally ignored everything he said and went against everything. What were you expecting? You sounded like you nagged at him a lot that day. Listen to what he is telling you in future and you will avoid unnecess... (read in full...)
Should I stay .... or maybe I should go
Q. Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...
A. 16 September 2017: This guy sounds like an absolute bum.
What is he doing with all of his money? Have you discussed plans to buy a house together? Or are you just hoping he will ask?
He doesn't sound very proactive, he sounds like hes happy just doing the same t... (read in full...)
The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?
Q. My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...
A. 16 September 2017: Tell him.
How else does he know how you feel?
If you're having sex with each other then surely you feel comfortable enough to have a discussion about it? Tell him what you want and need and he should be happy to cater to it. Sex is about sat... (read in full...)
Am I moving on too fast? And how and when do I tell the new guy about my past and the fact that my ex still lives in the same house as me?
Q. I have recently split with my partner of 8 years , we have fallen out of love and we both thought it was the best decision to cut it off. He still lives in the same house as me though in seperate rooms and he still helps with shopping/lifts etc - ...
A. 13 September 2017: However long it takes you to move on is fine, the sooner the better.
However the living arrangement may prove a stumbling block. I don't really think this is something that you can hide and if there's not going to be any change to it for the fore... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 12 September 2017: I agree, I think there's more going on with those guys than you think.
Walk away and don't look back, don't let her back in your life for her to walk all over you. She disrespected you with a poor breakup and now it seems as if she may be trying t... (read in full...)
I like girl A but am dating girl B
Q. I became really good friends with these two girls who are best friends. I liked them both but had a crush on girl lets say girl A. I never told girl A this. We had different styles and the few convos we did have she always talked about dating this ...
A. 11 September 2017: I agree with Honeypie.
Are you being serious here? These girls are best friends. Do you think they haven't had conversations about you? Do you really think girl A would crap on her best friend for you?
You went for the girl you didn't want and ... (read in full...)
My crush is being weird!
Q. last week I ended pulling a gorgeous female while I was out with my friends, and we seem to have a lot in common with each other, she always liked me at school, but for some reason we didn't end up getting together, now we are, she sent me a friend ...
A. 10 September 2017: Wouldn't even try to figure it out.
If she's confusing you before things have even begun it's not worth it.
Just forget about it ... (read in full...)
He's the perfect boyfriend .... when his mate isn't around1
Q. Ive met this guy. he is amazing and sweet and just perfect in every way. HOWEVER.. he has this best friend who has very loose morals. when they are together they drink far too much and take drugs. when my boyfriend is not with him he never does dr...
A. 10 September 2017: I don't agree with putting an ultimatum down on him as the anon poster said.
At the end of the day it's his life to live how he pleases. As hot cup of tea said, I also have friends who drink excessively, some not at all, others who regularl... (read in full...)
Are we dating or are we friends? Long distance friendship with my ex.
Q. Dear cupid, my boyfriend and I have had a 'thing' or more like dated for just over a year. He has moved away from home to go to boarding school and we made the decision that we would stop dating once he left, we also had decided that we were going ...
A. 10 September 2017: You're both wasting your time.
You wouldn't do this to someone you deeply cared about and what's the point in doing something long distance? Especially when you're so young. Find a more local BF that you're a better match with.... (read in full...)
Now that he's abroad he doesn't contact me at all!
Q. Hi, I'm in a strange "relationship" with my colleague and I don't know what to do..One year ago I've got this new job..when i met with my coworker, it was instant chemistry, he always look at me, trying to contact me..but i heard he's a player s...
A. 8 September 2017: Seems like you're right about his reputation.
Out of sight out of mind. Forget about him, if he wanted to contact you he would.... (read in full...)
How do I ask him 'what we are?' Where do you think our relationship stands?
Q. I haven't dated before (own personal choice) so this is new to me. After lot of coaxing, I joined Tinder. I met a guy there and we exchanged numbers after two weeks of casual texting. He makes me laugh, actually cares, puts in effort to meet me, ...
A. 8 September 2017: There's no other way than being upfront about it.
'Hey, I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together so far and would like to know in what direction we're heading'
Something along those lines should make him open up.... (read in full...)
Why did it hurt so much seeing him with another girl if we are just friends and I don't have feelings for him?
Q. Why did it hurt so much seeing him with another girl if we are just friends and I don't have feelings for him? I'm talking about my guy friend. I don't know if friend is the right word, we've known eachother forward nearly two years and always...
A. 8 September 2017: Because you DO have feelings.
That's pretty obvious but you're trying to pass it off as you don't care. Things change when you have sex with someone, it's no longer a friendship.
Decide how much you like him so you can make a choice where you... (read in full...)
We're already close. Do you think he is ready to move on and try something with me?
Q. Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men. I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and st...
A. 28 January 2017: You need to find out where he's up to with his ex.
Its very possible he could start using you for sex whilst he's still hung up on his ex. Unless he's over her and you BOTH want to go down the path of a relationship I'd be very careful of how phys... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
