Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (6 June 2017):
 Does the ex know about the name you had picked for a baby from when you lived with him? What could happen if he happens to ever say anything to your babys dad if you have not said anything to him first? The name should have went with the ex and get a new name. Some dads are good at being a dad to some other mans baby when they know. Your babys dad has the right to know the story behind the name
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2017): I wonder why you wanted advice on it if you were not going to use the unanimous verdict. Why not just run through it with him and let him determine if he likes it still. He may not care. I would care about the deception though
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 June 2017):
 You better be sure that you are the only one whose knows the history of the name and that you can keep your own mouth closed or it could really bite you in the butt if it ever comes out. I wish you the best whatever you name that bundle of joy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the responses.
The name does not remind me of my ex. I just remember how I came up with the name and how i have loved it ever since.
I'm not naming my child after my ex because it's a mixture of my name too.
I could honestly say I got the name from my name the half of the name is from my actual name. It's unfortunate that the other half is from the first 3 letters of my ex's name but I really love the name.
And my fiance does too.
I think I'm going to keep the name No one knows about how I came up with the name and I don't think I should let the name go just because of how I came up with it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2017): Who cares if it is fine with you. If he ever finds out it wpuld crush him. I would even say personally it would destroy me if i knew my child was named in part because of my wife's ex. I would even reconsider my relationship. Pick another name.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2017): No don't tell. Simply choose a really nice new name for your daughter and if he presists why the change simply say you find the new name much nicer.
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (1 June 2017):
How many people know the story of how you came up with the name? Imagine you don't tell your fiancé and then your mother or your best friend spills the beans by accident.
So you can tell him, if he is confident in himself he'll laugh it off and accept it. If not he'll ask you to find another name. Or you can lie to him and hope for the best. But is a lie the way you want to start your family?
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female
reader, Lexine07  +, writes (1 June 2017):
I don't think it's a good idea to keep it from him. If you're really set on the name, I'd tell him about it now, hopefully he'll be okay with it. I doubt he will be. I personally wouldn't want to learn after the fact that I named my first born after one of my fiancés ex. It's not a huge deal but he might take it as the ultimate betrayal... I mean... it's kinda messed up, no?
I would pick another name.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2017): What if he had a name he really liked, and it was a mix of his name & his ex-girlfriend, would that bother you? I'd rethink the name.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2017):
 Nooooooo.... How you came up with it is not important, and telling him will hurt his feelings and it WILL put him off the name in a matter of principle. If he asks, you should only say vaguely that it is a name you thought of back when you were dating x, and that you liked it ever since.
Unless YOU think of your ex every time you hear this name, it's fine to you. But if the name will keep reminding you of how you came up with it, and thus remind you of your ex, or somehow feel an attachment to him through this name, then do not choose this name. Be fair and respectful to your partner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2017): Why are you paying tribute to an ex by carrying-on his name through a child with another man? Not just any man, your husband to be!!!
Why on earth would you tell your fiance how you came about it? That would be such a slap in the face! Suppose he wanted to name her after one of his ex-girlfriends?
Bury your exes in the past where they belong. Purge your memories of past lovers. Enjoy your present and look forward to the future. Don't tell him the name is part of an ex's name; or he might want a paternity test! Extreme, but telling him is would be just as!
You have a right to name your baby whatever name you like; but I think telling him all that will raise a giant question-mark above his head!
Find another name, one you've chosen together. Please!
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (31 May 2017):
 You've opened a can of worms here.
A great name that will remind you of an ex when you hear it. Why would that ever enter your head as a good idea?
You either keep your mouth shut and live it for the rest of your life or suddenly 'go off' the name and choose another. I know which one I'd pick.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 May 2017):
 Absolutely not. UNLESS you are willing to change the name and sow doubt in your fiance's mind.
Do you really think it's the BEST name to give your child given the backstory to the name? THAt is the big question here.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (31 May 2017):
 Does anyone else know how you came up with it? If no, that's good. If yes, ditch the name.
Does it remind you of him? If yes, ditch the name.
Is there another thing you can say when people ask how you came across and chose that name? If no, ditch the name. You'll need another reason for it because people will ask and mentioning your ex will cause a problem.
There are millions of names and you can choose another you'll love.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 May 2017):
If the name reminds you of your previous boyfriend then don't use it. If your boyfriend gets an inkling that the name may involve a past love he may have some serious doubts about your commitment to him. Not worth the chance as far as I am concerned. There are lots of names...I'd find another.
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