A
female
age
30-35,
*unah
writes:I had fallen in love with my fwb and wanted more but he was not ready to formalize an already existing relationship. we are already acting like a real couple...so why not just acknowledge it. this was four months of being lovers( sex was mindblowing) and almost two years of friendship. before he became my lover.I had spent a year not acknowledging his advances until he blatantly texted me he loved me.I told myself not to believe it but I hoped against hope it was true. after we had sex the first time.... I tried to play casual but he staight out told me that what we had was more than sex....he is considerate,a great listener and he stole my heart away....It was then I wanted more.... acknowledgement. he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and so a few months later we drifted apart and I ended it.... we led our lives separately while still connecting a friends with the occassional heat and dirty talk. its a year later since the brake up and he is back and I am afraid to ask at what capacity will our relationship exist. I still love him.Am I being gullible going back to his arms or should I just see what happens. its his second time making a move and I can't tell him no again. am so confused. somebody help me understand
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male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (8 June 2017):
 i thing the two of you need to sit down and talk about what you want now and then where you see yourselfs in five years or ten , bought of you are lying to yourself in calling this a FWB , you two jumped on the FWB band wagon and acted this new lifestyle because you had something holding you two back from having ties, so you bought had feelings or at least some put to the other and over time without know it became love , othen you need that bit of time away to see with 20/20, so have that chat you have had sex so it must be easy to talk and best to have the chat somewhere that you can say everything to the other not having to hold back for fear someone can evesdrop,but at the same time not in you home where he might talk you back into bed or even you talk yourself into bed , best to make it clear that sex was offthe menu untill you bought are clear about where your going , it is not harm if you get together again and it lasts only untill one knows it is not right but look on the bright side it might end up with two retired old people still madly in love in 50 years time
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): Why are you still staying in-touch when you can't control your feelings for him? Is it the need for his validation and approval; or craving the forbidden-fruit? Are you sure you're not confusing lust with love?
Get a grip on yourself, girlfriend!!! It's FWB! What's love got to do with it?
Please don't fall for the L-word so skillfully employed by players and professional skirt-chasers. It's a tranquilizer-dart and mind-control drug for gullible and needy women.
These tools know that word gets to women; and for the life of me, I don't know why women so easily fall for it?!!
It's not like they don't really know these guys and how they operate. They just go ga-ga when that word slides off his tongue. It is such total bullsh*t!!! I have even been told by my own female friends that they know the guy doesn't mean it; but they just want to hear it. All I can do is put my face in my hands and shake my head!
Being considerate and being a great listener are also the attributes of a good friend. Hoping against hope is wishful thinking and unrealistic. It is sure to lead to a broken-heart and disappointment.
Friends with benefits is playing Russian Roulette with your heart and emotions. It is usually a cunning way to manipulate people. Some people think they will get closer using sex for bait. Promising sex with no strings attached. Thinking the friend will get charmed or lured under their spell into falling in-love. The joke is usually on the joker!
You're not gullible. You're determined to get what you want in spite of the reality of the situation. He doesn't want a relationship with you. Just the sex. Love him if you want, but it's wasted and misdirected. He's strictly in it for the sex; or he would commit to you. He tells you what you want to hear, and that's the key to your goodies. Lock the goodie cabinet and watch him disappear. Only you don't have the strength to beat him at his own game. He has the upper-hand and he knows it. He, no doubt, has a harem in waiting if you don't give it up.
He knows without being told you're at his mercy; he's a stone-cold player, and used to using women like you.
He's deliberately taking advantage of your infatuation; that's what players do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): He just wants sex again.
He is in between sex toys at the moment and you are the fall back girl.
Why not? You had awesome sex with him. He wants some more.
That is it.
He is never going to commit to you. He is never going to tell you he loves you.
He will pretend. He will fake a whole relationship to keep you putting out. Because that's what guys do.
Sweetie, you should stay away. You already made a break from him. Don't ruin it.
He is going to break your heart.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (7 June 2017):
 Yes, you are.
If you guys were going to get into a relationship you would already be in one.
He is feeding you bullshit you get into your pants and you're allowing him to do it. Tell him no, you are not sleeping with anyone that you're not in a committed relationship with and I can guarantee he will run for the hills.
He is an utter waste of time. Start valuing yourself more than letting someone use you for sex.
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