A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm sure a lot of you will probably think I'm being silly. I've tried talking to myself about this, and I've realized that I'm not mad/jealous because I don't want him anymore, I'm just annoyed. I married my ex-husband A (he's 33) in 2013, we were divorced by 2017. A is a good man, he just wasn't serious enough for me/a marriage. He was the man of the household physically because of his height and build but he was far from it mentally, and I just wasn't ready to take care of a big kid. We still remain good friends and I still give him access to my (used to be our) house and he's always here. The kicker is, so is my sister, C, and she's ALL OVER HIM! At first I brushed it off because they were good friends during our marriage, but after a month of watching this, I'm getting sick of it. C openly adores A, she follows him everywhere, is constantly touching on him, and texting him. If I'm standing talking to A, when she puts her key in the door, walk in the house, walk right past me, put her hands on his shoulder, or on his face to get his attention, one time she was even brushing his hair! Like WHAT! My sister is very silly and goofy, and my ex- husband insists that it's strictly innocent, but I don't buy it at all. The last straw was when she came to visit me and she had a bouquet of roses that some guy had gave her, A came in about 20 minutes later, saw the roses and jokingly said "are these for me" she jumped out of her seat and said "yes" and she really gave them to him!! When he left, I came off a little rude I will admit and asked if she was sleeping with my husband, she told me no, but did not waste no time in reminding me that he was my "ex" and the divorce is final. She was basically telling me my ex-husband is fair game now (i don't even want him) and I just don't know what to do. I even heard from her friend that she plans on getting him a very expensive watch for his birthday. Obviously I'm not going to verbally attack her, and I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she openly has a thing for her sister's ex-husband! I can see how she may think she's an upgrade for A because she's younger(she's only 26) skinny, and has this goofy personality but she's totally not. I don't even want to compare myself to my sister, and I feel like she's putting me in a situation where it's happening!! I just need advice on how to handle this!! I feel like my life is turning into a walking sitcom.
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (6 June 2017):
 I agree, why are they in your house so much?
Out of sight, out of mind. Tell them to converse somewhere else.
If your sister has so little class to not know to try and get into her sisters (ex) husband, then I wouldn't be wasting my time trying to keep in contact with her.
If that's what they want to do, then leave them to it and drop them out of your life.
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (6 June 2017):
 It is time for your ex to go live his life some where other than in your house. He is your ex and while it is nice to see people who break up stay friends, hanging around.What is he hanging around for? Does he still want you or is he using you the get near your sister.As for her she is right in saying that he is open game as he is your ex , but unless he is some type of super man why must she act like a bitch in heat around your place? There is a time and place for everything and your home is not the place for her to hunt down your ex. You need to talk to him first and show him he has to make him new life and not be hanging on to yours. What will he do if you bring in a new man?Your sister needs to have a bit more respect for you and herself. He seems to be even stopping you from moving on
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (6 June 2017):
 Regardless of the rights and wrongs of your sister hitting on your ex, why is either of them spending so much time at YOUR house? It is YOUR house and you have a right to feel comfortable in it.
It is bad form that your sister is hitting on your ex, but there is nothing you can do to make her see this.
In your shoes I would ask both of them to look to spending more time elsewhere than in your house. Tell your ex you feel it is time you put a bit of distance between the two of you. Tell your sister that she makes you feel uncomfortable, hitting on your ex in your presence, and that she should do this elsewhere. Then you can relax and leave them to get on with whatever they are doing, or not doing.
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